Blog Posts by POPSUGAR Love & Sex

  • 5 Terrible Tips For Monogamy

    What counts as cheating may get ambiguous, but whose fault it is does not. Spoiler - it's always the cheater! Yet the idea that women are somehow responsible for men cheating is as ludicrous as it is common. So the last thing we need is women espousing the idea as "advice" in books like Sugarbabe. Author Holly Hill (a pseudonym) quit her job as a psychoanalyst and put an ad online for a sugar daddy. MSN Glo interviewed her, and she had tips for wives trying to keep their husbands home with fear and jealousy.

    • "Don't let yourself go - there is nothing less valued than a commodity that no one else wants."
    • Put his wandering eye to work for you, not against you: "That means negotiating some infidelity if you are not 'in the mood.' It does not have to be other lovers: It could be pornography, or a lap dance [at a strip club]."
    • "Never cross legs for an extended period without arranging some sort of alternative." (ed. I don't know, either!)
    • "Always remind him how valuable you
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  • 3 Signs a Friend Is Talking Behind Your Back

    I went out to dinner with two close friends over the weekend. When each one went to the bathroom, they talked about the other. Immediately! I decided my own trip to the bathroom could be postponed until I was home and got to thinking about gossip. In middle school I thought girls were talking about me, and my dad said, "Do you think people have nothing better to talk about than you?" At first I was offended, then momentarily liberated, and finally sad again when I realized the perpetual gossipers probably, in fact, had nothing better to talk about. But now I see where he was going: people are more consumed by themselves than others. It's a good thing to keep in mind, but not always the case. Here are three signs you may be a topic of conversation.

    • Talks about other friends: "Those who gossip with you, gossip about you" goes the saying, and it's true today. It's the easiest way to know preemptively and avoid getting hurt.
    • Stops talking or abruptly changes the subject when you
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  • Do You Tend to Undershare or Overshare?



    Twitter, Facebook, and the Internet in general make oversharing all too easy. But don't overcompensate by keeping everything to yourself! Not surprisingly, psychologists say putting an emotional guard up can cause you to miss friendship opportunities. I can back that up with anecdotal evidence. I always find that sharing a juicy dating story or a relatable insecurity helps me bond with potential friends. Just like a little self-deprecating humor, sharing details about your personal life can make you seem approachable and likable. Of course we don't need to know everything you ate in a day, hear you whine every time you get stuck in traffic, or get into graphic details about your sex life - at least not until we're really good friends!

    Take our poll at TrèsSugar!

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  • 10 Difficulties of Dating a Vampire

    Vampire attraction is intense! Maybe the women who love them shouldn't, but we've all dated someone we've known was bad for us. And vampires are the ultimate bad boys.

    With the new Twilight movie out, we're reminded how complicated vampires are. They have their own rules and their own set of problems. Here are 10 reasons we say dating a vampire would suck.

    1. Cold blooded: It's really no fun snuggling with someone whose body temperature is set at 60°F.
    2. So smug: Dating a vampire who fed off humans would be too draining, but the self-righteousness over his ethical eating habits gets even older than him.
    3. Old enough to be your great-great-great grandfather: He may look eternally young, but a 100-year age difference can really give him totally different points of reference. Also? A daddy complex.
    4. Night owl: Edward Cullen may never sleep, but he can't wait for Bella to wake up. He wants to see her so badly at night that he flies into her room to watch her sleep. True Blood's
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  • Unexpected Lessons From a Year Without Sex

    After years of disappointing relationships and unfulfilling casual sex, Hephzibah Anderson decided to give up sex for one year. The experience expanded her notion of what it means to be sensual, and helped her realize that being a "liberated" woman includes being honest about what you want from sex. I chatted with Hephzibah about her chaste year, which she writes about in her new book Chastened: The Unexpected Story of My Year Without Sex, and she provided some life lessons we can all consider without having to give up sex ourselves.

    TrèsSugar: Why do you think the sex you were having disappointed you?
    Hephzibah Anderson
    : It was unsatisfying because these guys weren't looking for what I was looking for. They weren't looking for any serious relationship, which meant that they were withholding on an emotional level. And I didn't feel secure enough to let on what I needed and I didn't feel confident enough to say that there needed to be an emotional component. I felt that the kind of sex

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  • Why Do You Fake Orgasms?

    Eighty percent of women have faked an orgasm, according to a new study. While it only asked 71 women, the study made up in depth what it lacked in breadth.

    Researchers broke down sex noises into categories, such as "silence," "moan/groan," "scream/shriek/squeal," "words" (such as "yes," "more," or a partner's name). They followed up by asking women why they made each noise, and it rarely had anything to do with orgasms. Most of the time women were faking sounds to influence or, in the study's words, "manipulate" partners, but not necessarily in a devious way. In short, they wanted to speed things up.

    Gayle Brewer of the University of Central Lancashire in England said "boredom, fatigue, discomfort," and "time limitations" were all reasons women artificially enhance the moment. Sound about right to you? Remember, you can log out to comment anonymously if you want!

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  • Was Your Honeymoon Perfect or Problematic?

    Over the years, I've heard many honeymoon horror stories, from missing flights to food poisoning, making even a well-intentioned, relaxing trip an adventure. Traveling to far-off destinations always has its risks, but it's especially discouraging when you're trying to have a blissful, romantic trip abroad. Whether it was lost baggage, a natural disaster, shoplifted goods, illnesses of an intimate nature, or even infidelity, did your honeymoon have some hiccups? Or did it go off without a hitch?

    Take our poll here.

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  • Eclipse of the Heart: Sex According to the Latest Twilight

    As teen girls and grown women run to see Eclipse today, what messages about sex and gender will the third installment of the Twilight saga send them? I asked myself this during an early screening of the movie, and while you might expect the wait-until-marriage message from an author with a Mormon background, some of Eclipse's love lessons do surprise. If you haven't read the book, my observations will spoil the story, so keep reading at your own risk.

    A man must protect a woman's virtue: "Stop trying to take your clothes off," Edward says midway through the movie. He's a traditional vampire, so he wants to marry Bella before they do the dangerous deed. Bella, on the other hand, is a modern-day Eve who couldn't care less about saving her soul. If the conservative message of the movie gets teen girls to think twice about having sex when they're not ready, that's great. But I could do without the implication that a woman will be damned for tasting the forbidden fruit of sex

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  • Who's Your Prince Charming? Prince Harry or Prince William

    Yesterday 25-year-old Prince Harry made headlines when he fell from his horse during a polo match in New York. But it was all for a good cause - the proceeds go straight to his charity Sentebale to help orphans.

    Across the pond, though, his older brother, 28-year-old Prince William, had an embarrassing moment of his own. That is if finding yourself without money at a mini-mart in North Wales and a basket full of snacks while the shopkeeper exclaims "Oh my God! You're Prince William, aren't you?" and security cameras roll (photos were posted by the British press, but have since been removed) is embarrassing.

    Anything that knocks the princes off their thrones is great news for us commoners, though. Even if one is very close to being engaged. So if you had to choose your prince charming, would it be Harry or William?

    Take the poll at TresSugar!

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  • The Allure of the Public Transportation Crush

    I love the communal experience of commuting. Whether it's to find yourself sitting across from a man lamenting how he just got out of prison only to learn another county has a warrant out for his arrest (Friday), or for the possibility of meeting a non-ex-convict.

    Craigslist New York analyzed its Missed Connections to name the L train the ride with the "best odds of a fellow passenger falling for you across a crowded car or platform, and then posting a 'Missed Connections' ad on Craigslist in search of you." A real honor! Years ago, on the same train, my friend once watched a girl hand a guy her number as she exited. My friend then asked if he intended to call her. "I kind of have to, don't I?" he asked (himself).

    There's definitely an allure to meeting on public transportation. A feeling of destiny - of all the lines, of all the trains, of all the cars, you had to step into mine. The train itself is like a metaphor for the closing door of opportunity, and maybe that's what

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Pagination

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