Blog Posts by Smitten, Glamour Magazine

  • Stop Googling Your Dates! Here's Why

    CN Digital Studio

    by Samantha Henig

    It's a phenomenon called "pre-dating": the online sleuthing you do to learn about a guy's ex, his job, his Spotify playlist. But is it smart? Maybe not if you want, y'know, a relationship.

    Is the time you spend with someone's online persona messing with what might develop in real life once you're actually together? Experts say absolutely yes. "Too much information is detrimental," explains Amy Van Doran, a matchmaker in New York City. "It makes it hard to fall in love. For that, you have to be in the moment." Still tempted to snoop? Tough love time. Here are a few hard-core reasons you shouldn't:

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    1) You turn into a comparison shopper.

    49% of women would cancel a first date because of something they found out about him online, according to a study.

    "You're trying to suss out: Will this person and I have a connection? Actually, there is no evidence that we can assess that online," says

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  • Ever Been Cheated On? Here Are the Rage Rules

    Fairchild Archive

    by Gena Kaufman

    Ever been cheated on? How do you feel about the woman he cheated with? Less than fondly, probs.

    I've been there, done that resentment, so I get it. I'm only human, and when I found out about my boyfriend's affair, you can bet a large, seething chunk of my heart wanted to find that girl and rip every hair out of her unfortunately adorable head. Three things stopped me: My dignity, my desire not to go to jail, and my very firm no girl-on-girl crime mindset. (Okay, and also my lack of upper body strength. I'm not very tough.)

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    On last night's episode of The Mindy Project, Mindy and her ex-boyfriend Josh's other ex-girlfriend Heather did not display such restraint when charming Ellie Kemper made a return to the show to let Mindy know she was trying to move into her building. I like this show and adore Mindy Kaling in general, but I didn't love this catfight the first time around, and I was disappointed to see

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  • 7 Reasons You'll Regret Seeking Breakup Revenge

    Carrie knows about revenge fantasiesCarrie knows about revenge fantasies

    by Gena Kaufman

    I am not above a revenge fantasy. Imagining causing some serious destruction to the guy who wronged you can be so satisfying, it makes for great TV, and it's also better than an Angry Girl Rock playlist as motivation to burn off all those breakup doughnuts at the gym.

    But I can't believe it when I read stories of people who went through with it. Are they sometimes funny? Yes. Case in point: This Craigslist ad in Canada posted by a woman selling all her husband's belongings after discovering he was cheating on her. (Sample line: "Don't come too early (like he did).) But are they also kind of sad and sometimes, downright horrifying? YES.

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    You guys, seriously. Friends don't let friends do dramatic breakup revenge schemes. No matter how good of an idea it seems at the time, or how satisfying it feels in the direct aftermath, it's always going to bite you in the bitter butt. Let's take a look at just a few of

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  • Is There an Ideal Age Gap for Relationships?

    Fairchild Archive

    by Gena Kaufman

    Despite the unfortunate rise of the cougar phenomenon (not that dating younger men is unfortunate, just the use of the term cougar), it seems as a society, we're still more into May-December relations when the guy is the December. Or is it the May? I'm not sure I actually know what that expression is supposed to mean.

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    But what I'm trying to say is, more people still think that a romantic relationship is ideal when it's between an older man and a younger woman. Specifically, four years and four months older, which was the average "ideal" age gap as reported by a survey of 2,000 adults.

    While slightly less than half of people said there was no ideal age gap (good call, sensible people), 33% of women wanted a guy up to seven years older than them, while only one out of a hundred women preferred a younger man.

    Not that I have anything against dating older guys, but here's some afternoon uggghhh: Financial

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  • It's a Fact: Love Makes You Delusional

    Getty Images

    by Gena Kaufman

    It's a big pile of duh that trust is important in a relationship, but a new study shows it may be important in a way you might not have thought. Trust makes you kind of delusional, and it turns out, that's great for your relationship.

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    Being delusional doesn't sound particularly healthy, but in this case it is. It essentially causes people to forget the bad times in a relationship. Here's how the mental shift works: Students in relationships were asked to report their partner's screw-ups over a course of six months, like not being supportive, or forgetting to make Valentine's plans (whoops!), rating them for severity and forgiveness and then re-evaluating their feeling at a later check-in. Participants who reported high levels of trust and commitment tended to forget their anger about their partner's transgressions over time, with memories getting rosier, but the opposite happened for those who didn't trust their

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  • 11 Things Guys Hate About Your Online Dating Profile Pics

    Fairchild ArchiveFairchild Archiveby Ben Kassoy

    In the world of online dating, your profile photos aren't everything; they're the only thing. OK, maybe not the only thing, but definitely a very, very important one. As in, way more important than your looks in real life. Yes, that important.

    So don't get them wrong. Please take it from me, a seasoned online dater: No matter how attractive you are, the following photo faux pas are apt to get you ignored or, worse, attention from dudes whose own photos are bathroom-mirror selfies. Read on for what not to do, adjust your profile accordingly, and thank me later. Guys hate when you:

    1) Include fewer than three photos or more than seven. Yo're either lazy, a catfish, or a lazy catfish. If you are in fact a real person, I'm sure you have literally thousands of photos of yourself, because Facebook. But don't get me wrong: This is not Facebook.

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    2) Include only face shots (as in, no full-body ones). What are you hiding?

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  • 5 Phrases You Don’t Want to Hear at the End of a Date

    Fairchild Archiveby Gena Kaufman

    Having gone on a fair amount of first dates over the past year, I feel like I've finely honed my sense of whether or not the guy is into me at the end of the night. Enough to make a crazy long flowchart on the topic, anyway.

    Aside from a few headscratching "I can't believe he didn't call after that great date" moments (the most frustrating thing in the world), I generally feel like it's clear when we've hit it off, when I've made it clear that I'm not interested, or when he's made it clear that he's just not that into me. Which, yeah, it happens. I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I get it.

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    But since most guys are too polite or too afraid of being the bad guy to just come right out and say, "Thanks, this was nice but I don't see us hanging out again"--and I'm OK with an indirect method, I can't be that up front about it either--I have picked up on some subtler phrases that end up meaning the same thing. For

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  • Why is Sex so Much Better in Movies and Books?

    Fairchild Archive

    by Ben Kassoy, Glamour

    Friday was the 25th anniversary of Andy Warhol's death. Of the artist's numerous philosophical tidbits, I've always been fascinated by one quote in particular: "Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages than between the sheets," he said.

    My initial reaction was, why would I rather watch or read about sex than do it myself? Then again, consider the results when I jogged my memory and queried some friends for some of the steamiest onscreen hookups. Among them:

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    Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in Ghost. Leonard DiCaprio and Kate Winslet in Titanic. Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain. Brad Pitt and Helena Bonham Carter in Fight Club. Naomi Watts and Laura Harring in Mulholland Drive. Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Gray in Dirty Dancing. Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek in Desperado. Meg Ryan in anything. And all the others you're recalling at the moment.

    On the page, the

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  • Why Are Gay Men and Straight Women Such Good Friends?

    Fairchild Archiveby Gena Kaufman, Glamour

    Harry and Sally might have made everyone question the reality of male/female friendships, but Will and Grace reminded us all of what seems to be a foolproof relationship: the straight women/gay guy lovefest. In pop culture and in real life, it seems to be a platonic coupling that works for a lot of amazing friendships.

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    And a new study has confirmed that there may be a reason that the two are drawn to each other. According to researchers, "straight women and gay men perceive mating advice provided by each other to be more trustworthy than similar advice offered by other individuals." The theory arose out of an experiment where heterosexual female and homosexual male participants were asked to rate the perceived trustworthiness of advice of "Jordan", a person with a Facebook profile who was alternately presented as male or female, straight or gay.

    The researchers speculate that straight women may doubt

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  • 10 Quotes from Oscar-Winning Movies that Apply to Every Romantic Situation

    Fairchild Archiveby Gena Kaufman, Glamour

    The Oscars are this weekend, and I am very excited to watch even though as per usual, I completely failed on the goal I make every year to see all the nominated films. (Um, I've only seen two, whoops.)

    Since it might take me a few years to get around to seeing whatever this year's Best Picture is, I decided to look back at some of the previous winning movies that I've managed to see, like, 60 years later. And to bring it back to our love lives, I've pulled some quotes that are relevant to lots of different situations. You can bust one out this weekend in honor of the awards!

    Here are some suggestions of how to use some famous lines from some award-winning flicks:

    1) When your boyfriend wants to skip dinner with your parents, because the big game is on tonight and it's very important:

    "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." (Gone With the Wind, 1939)

    2) To the cat you adopted after swearing off men post-nasty breakup:


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