Blog Posts by Smitten, Glamour Magazine

  • The Reason a Rebound Relationship Might Actually Be Good for You

    by Gena Kaufman

    David TsayDavid Tsay


    There seem to be two competing schools of though when it comes to the post-breakup recovery period. On Team One, we've got the old "Take some time to yourself" philosophers. On Team Two, we've got advocates for "Move on to the next one, and fast" type of advice.


    See more: 5 Things You Should Probably Not Say on a First Date

    Score one for Team Two, who've now got some scientific evidence on their side. Researchers in New York and Illinois recently conducted a study among 200 people, asking them to answer a series of questions about their current or next relationship (depending on whether or not they were single). The end result? Not only were those who had started a new relationship within seven months not suffering as a result of moving on too quickly, they were actually reporting even higher levels of well-being than those who stayed single.

    See more: 10 Beauty Tricks That Make Guys Melt

    Why is moving on actually better for many people? Although the

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  • Real-Life Dating Red Flags

    by Marissa Gold

    Kate PowersKate Powers

    Initially, that unfunny joke or call to his mom (in the middle of your date) might seem excusable. After all, we're supposed to go easy on guys and give them the benefit of the doubt, right? Sometimes your brain says "RUN. NOW!" but your hormones say "Nah, he's cute." So we let it slide, give it time, and proceed with the relationship...


    See more: 5 Things You Should Probably Not Say on a First Date

    But 9 times out of 10, our instincts were correct. That strange comment or weird moment was, in fact, a red flag all along (and might even be the exact reason you break up). If only we trusted our gut and just ended things right then and there.

    In order to help save you from investing too much time in a bad relationship, we polled our staff to share a few red flags they've witnessed--real gems that basically guarantee a guy is a little off. These red flags actually happened to us. Don't let them happen to you:

    See more: 10 Beauty Tricks That Make Guys Melt

    Red Read More »from Real-Life Dating Red Flags
  • Why Guys Flirt when They Are in Relationships

    by Gena Kaufman

    Getty ImagesGetty Images
    Awww. A sweet young reader has just experienced a man situation that probably feels familiar to a lot of us. I know I've been there. Help her understand why it happened.


    She writes:

    I am just 18 and the guy that I like is 19. I have been talking to him for the last eight months or so. We're just friends, but he has also introduced me to his friends. We both have similar interests and generally get along really ??ell. He has tried to ask me out twice and has on two occasions nearly kissed me. He flirts, brushes himself next to me, and recently he did not like me talking to another guy. He told me how much he liked me and how beautiful my smile and eyes were.

    At first I thought he was shy. I gave him my mobile number, but he allegedly dropped his new phone down the toilet. I then found out from a mutual friend that he has a girlfriend, whom he never mentioned at all. I feel awful, and he still flirts and gives the impression he likes me. I know deep down he

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  • Don't Dump Your BFF Because You Hate Her Boyfriend, OK?

    by Gena Kaufman

    Getty ImagesGetty ImagesWe've all had a friend who keeps going back to the same guy no matter how often the breakup and she claims to be done with him, right? And we've all wanted to give her a stern shake and yell "What are you thinking? If you get back together with this guy one more time I will never speak to you again!" Right? Right. Oh man, that would feel so good to say out loud!

    But do you actually do that? Or do you just keep on being her friend even though you know disaster is imminent?

    See more: 5 Things You Should Probably Not Say on a First Date

    Well, according to reports, Taylor Swift is "cutting off" her BFF Selena Gomez after news broke that she and Justin Bieber have been up to their old relationship whiplash-inducing behaviors, making out at laser tag games, dedicating songs, and crushing the hopes of sensible people everywhere. We don't know if the "sources" of this information have any reliability and I have faith that the Taylena (Selenyor?) friendship will Read More »from Don't Dump Your BFF Because You Hate Her Boyfriend, OK?
  • Shakira Said Her Boyfriend Doesn't Allow Her to Do Videos with Men Anymore--Should We Be Bothered?

    by Gena Kaufman


    Nicolas MooreNicolas Moore While I was shaking up a martini that I drank alone on my couch, the lovely Shakira spent her weekend stirring up relationship controversy when she claimed that her boyfriend, Gerard Pique, "no longer lets me do videos with men."

    It was a headline-making and much-debated statement, but at first I just wanted to let it go. Sometimes, I think both men and women have a tendency to say "My partner won't let me do X" when what they really mean is, "Doing X makes my partner uncomfortable, so I refrain from doing it because I love my partner." For instance, let's say it would make you very upset if your husband went to a strip club. Should you forbid him to do it? Nah, you're not the boss of him. But if you explain to him why it bothers you, I should hope he would either avoid going, or at least be honest with you about the occasional bachelor party trip. And in that instance, he might say to the guys, "Oh, the wife doesn't let me go to strip clubs," but it really just

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  • Living Together is Totally Fine for Your Future Marriage Success, as Long as You Do it After This Age

    by Gena Kaufman


    George HolzGeorge Holz
    If you're in your mid-twenties and you just started living with a guy, I have good news for you. One, you're better at relationships than I am in my early thirties, and two, you've probably escaped the supposed link between living together before marriage and divorce.

    See more: 5 Things You Should Probably Not Say on a First Date

    While previous studies have indicated that couples who move in together before they get married are more likely to eventually divorce, that may not be the case. And clearly, people weren't scared off by that idea anyway, since two thirds of new marriages in America began with cohabitation. And a new study examining data from 1995, 2002, and 2006 has found no link between people's pre-marriage living status and their divorce rate. However, the study did conclude that the age at which couples live together could be an indicator of their future success: After age 23, there's less risk of divorce. Researchers speculate that this post-collegeRead More »from Living Together is Totally Fine for Your Future Marriage Success, as Long as You Do it After This Age
  • This Study on Women Getting Groped in Clubs Will Make You Sick

    by Gena Kauffman

    Getty ImagesGetty ImagesIf you've ever been to a club--like, ever, even once--you are not going to be shocked to hear that women get a lot of unwanted, aggressive attention. But when you read the findings of this study on how often and why it happens, it might make you feel downright sick to your stomach.

    Photo: Getty Images A new study sent 148 trained observers to visit more than 100 bars and clubs a total of 1,334 times. On the visits, they observed 1,057 incidents of aggression, 25 percent of which were sexual in natural. Of the sexually aggressive incidents, 90 percent of cases involved a male aggressor and a female target. (And the remaining 10 percent involved a combination of men harassing men, women harassing men, and women harassing women.)

    See more:10 Wardrobe Essentials Every Woman Should Own

    The researchers decided to observe whether the men were intentionally harassing women or whether they were mistakenly misinterpreting signals. In 34 percent of the cases, they found it was "beyond

    Read More »from This Study on Women Getting Groped in Clubs Will Make You Sick
  • A 3-Step Guide for Getting Rid of Bad Dreams

    by Gena Kaufman

    Getty ImagesGetty Images Do you ever have periods in your life when you seem to be experiencing a lot of bad dreams? It can really make you feel awful when you wake from one! But interestingly, there could be a way to influence what you're dreaming of. I spoke with Dr. Angel Morgan, a sleep and dream expert for DreamsCloud about the method of self-reflection in examining your dreams to get to know yourself better.


    All dreams are healthy, says Dr. Morgan, because they reveal our emotions and show us issues that need to be dealt with in our lives. She doesn't suggest avoiding bad dreams altogether, but facing them head on by writing them down and thinking about them. However, if you're having an unpleasant dream that you want to stop, there is a 3-step plan she recommends for dealing with the situation. The example we'll work with? A Smitten appropriate situation: Having a bad dream about your ex.

    See more: 10 Wardrobe Essentials Every Woman Should Own


    Using the self-reflection model

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  • When is it Appropriate to Call Someone Out for Online Behavior?

    by Gena Kaufman

    Sorry I made you feel like this, guy. (Getty Images)Sorry I made you feel like this, guy. (Getty Images)
    In a (fun?) twist, this isn't a story of me complaining about something a guy said to me in the world of online dating. Instead, it's a story about a guy getting mad at me for something I didn't say. (OK, then I'm still going to complain about what he said to me.)


    Last week, I got a message from a guy. He seemed perfectly nice, and his message was a thoughtful one that made it clear he'd read my profile, so he wasn't on my "Automatic No Response" list whatsoever. However, I wasn't sure of whether I was into him, and furthermore, I was just about to leave town for a weekend visit with my family. I made a mental note to take a closer look later when I had more time to decide if/how to write back.

    See more: 10 Beauty Tricks That Make Guys Melt

    Only I didn't have to come back for another look, because two days later, I got a follow-up message, and boy, was it angry. He informed me that not writing back was rude, and that I needed to develop some manners or I was

    Read More »from When is it Appropriate to Call Someone Out for Online Behavior?
  • Why Women on TV Are Having Better Sex Than Ever

    Women on TV are having better sex than ever--and we've got female producers to thank for that.
    by Megan Angelo

    Kate PowersKate PowersThere have always been two rules of sex on TV: One, the lighting is incredible (you can't Amazon Prime those cellulite-erasing lamps--I've tried).

    And two, the male perspective is king. The man is always there to receive pleasure, while the woman, who somehow manages to never hit an unflattering position, is there to titillate her partner--and the male viewers at home.

    But I'm here to tell you that even if things aren't changing everywhere, the sexual playing field on TV is changing, and it's due to an influx of female-run shows. Of course, there's Lena Dunham's Girls, which continues to share the jaw-dropping secret that women's bodies vary in size. But watching Michelle Ashford's Masters of Sex (Showtime), Mara Brock Akil's Being Mary Jane (BET), and Dee Johnson's Nashville (ABC) made me realize progress is truly afoot. I talked with those three creatives about how

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