Blog Posts by Smitten, Glamour Magazine

  • Why You like Bad Boys

    Gena Kaufman, Glamour magazine

    Now that I'm 30, I've totally outgrown the bad boy phase, just like I've stopped wearing miniskirts, taking gummy vitamins, and listening to the Miley Cyrus station on Pandora. Oh wait, I still do those things and I still like bad boys. Well, at least science figured out the reason for that one...

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    To be honest, I'm not really embarrassed of any of those things except the penchant for bad boys. It just never turns out well. But luckily, it's not my fault. According to a new study published today, women choose bad boys because their hormones make them. Evidently, in a totally non-counterintuitive move, an ovulating woman's hormones influence her to pick sexier men over more obviously dependable men.

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    Researchers had women look at dating profiles of either sexy men or reliable men during periods of high and low fertility. (For the record,

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  • Men Confess: Dating Frustration

    Gena Kaufman, Glamour magazine

    I could probably talk all day every day for a month straight about the things that frustrate me about dating. But hey, since that's pretty much what I do here on Smitten anyway, let's give the guys a chance to air their grievances, OK?

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    Dating advice and men's interest site TSB Magazine recently conducted a survey to find out the most frustrating aspect of dating for single men. The issue most commonly chosen as the biggest source of frustration: text messaging!

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    Let's break down the options and results:

    • 32% of the men in the survey said that they are confused about what to say and when to send a text, and that's the most frustrating part of trying to start a new relationship. I don't know about you, but I'm super relieved to hear that guys overanalyze this too.
    • 22% said that having a conversation with a woman and the awkwardness of the
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  • Dating Snap Judgments Not to Make

    Anna Breslaw, Glamour magazine

    As you know, the magically awkward 10-minute verbal pas-de-deux that occurs when a guy asks you on a date is more than enough time to make unfair assumptions, patronizing judgments and generally write him off as not worth your time. But...

    While it's good to have standards, there are certain calls you might be making here that could lead you to miss out on an unexpectedly great relationship. Liiiike...

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    "Oh, no, he's on OK Cupid."

    Like blisters and/or a Goth phase, online dating happens to the best of us. If you ask me, it's a good sign--he's actively looking for something romantic.

    "Oh, dear, he lives in [insert crappy neighborhood here.]"

    First of all, a brief paen to the crappy neighborhood: not only are they beautifully non-hipsterized, but they often house the best secret awesome restaurant spots in the area. Secondly, don't be a snob. It just means you have to stay over and

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  • Is He Cheating? the Major Warning Sign

    Gena Kaufman, Glamour magazine

    If you've ever been suspicious that your guy is cheating, you know how miserable it is to obsessively wonder just what's going on. Here's an expert tip on how to spot the bad news.

    See more: 7 Signs of True Love

    Via an episode of Anderson this week, Amy Drescher, a woman with an intimate knowledge of cheating-she's a private investigator-shared a really interesting tip for detecting when your guy might be cheating on you.

    The clue is this: If you're already feeling suspicious of your guy, and you confront him about strange behavior like changed passwords or late nights, a cheater will likely respond by telling you repeatedly that you're crazy. Drescher says she commonly hears this from her female clients when she's investigating their husbands, but the women aren't crazy.

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    Oh, the old "you're crazy" defense. We've discussed whether or not it's the worst thing you can be called, and in

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  • The Top 5 Times it Sucks to Be in a Relationship

    Gena Kaufman, Glamour magazine

    On Monday Anna gave us a hilarious list of times it sucks to be single, even though she generally loves it. I thought it would only be fair to present the flip side.

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    Of course, being in a couple is generally pretty awesome, especially when you're with the right guy. Aww, swoon, etc. But if we're being honest, there are sporadic occasions when you think "Dang, I miss being single." It doesn't mean you'd really give up your man, but here are five times when you might have a case of the grass is always greener in a single person's yard:

    5. That time you have to figure out what in the world you should give his picky mother for Christmas, and your friends just get to blow their end of year bonus on new shoes.

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    4. That time a sexy guy on the bar stool next to you is flirting up a storm and he looks like a really good time. Meanwhile,

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  • The Key to Dating Success May Give You Flashbacks to High School English

    Gena Kaufman, Glamour magazine

    Do you like to eavesdrop on couples in restaurants who are clearly on first dates? I totally do! (And now, I can justify it as research. Thanks Glamour!) Here's an interesting way that listening to a conversation can actually predict whether the couple will be a good one….

    When I saw a recent article on NPR claiming that the secret to dating success was in the pronouns, both the love writer and the word lover in me perked right up. Psychologist James Pennebaker closely examines the words people use, and by recording and transcribing conversations, he can actually predict dating results better than the dates themselves.

    See more: 7 Signs of True Love

    The secret, he says, is not in the substantial part of the conversation but in "function words" which are essentially filler words like the, this, though, I, and, an, there and that. Specifically when people use pronouns, prepositions, and articles in similar ways, they were much more likely to

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  • 6 Signs You Have a Work Husband

    Ariane Marder, Glamour magazine

    I miss working in an office for a number of reasons (motivation to put on pants, free coffee and exercising my vocal chords by speaking aloud.) But I mostly miss the chance to have a work husband. Casey the dog's fine and all, but she's a girl and sometimes I think all she wants to do is play. Below are six signs you have a real work husband and not a canine trying to sabotage your professional life:

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    1.
    Your Gchat conversation is always open, and you can send links back and forth with no explanation (not even an emoticon). And he knows it's in his best interest to click on it in a timely fashion.

    2.
    After meetings, he's the first one you go to for a debriefing and, subsequently, to ask for help while you completely revamp the project your boss approved--and then forgot she approved.

    See more: 7 Signs of True Love

    3.
    He knows who you're referring to when you say the "devil wears denim

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  • 9 of the Weirdest Sex Laws Across America

    Anna Breslaw, Glamour magazine

    Can someone tell me where I can get arrested for having sex with someone inside a giant block of cheese? Because that implies that there would be men in that location who are willing to have sex with me inside a giant block of cheese.

    You may think you're a law-abiding American, but I bet you've broken at least one of these local laws. Even something as innocuous as getting undressed for bed in front of a man's picture could get you thrown in the slammer in Oxford, Ohio!

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    I propose a Smitten road trip to each of the below locations, breaking laws as we go. It'll be just like Superbad, you guys!

    According to Peace FM Online:

    • In Tremonton, Utah, women aren't allowed to get frisky in the back of an ambulance without being slapped with a sexual misdemeanor charge. Interestingly, there is no such law for men.
    • Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Indiana, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Nebraska, Nevada, New York,
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  • 4 Tips to Making Your Relationship Last

    Ariane Marder, Glamour magazine

    My sister Danielle and her husband Clay will be together twenty years next month. As long as I can remember, I've looked to my sister's relationship as a blueprint for what I've wanted for my own love life. It was always something to strive for-proof that there were good men out there, despite my particular gift for picking the wrong ones. When my single friends and I would get discouraged by stories of divorce or unhappy marriages, our go-to line was always, "Well, at least there's Clay and Danielle!" So, in honor of their two-decade anniversary, here are four relationship tips for making it last:

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    1. Give Potential-Mr.-Right a shot even if you're not totally sold at first.

    Danielle and Clay met in college and although legend has it that he knew he wanted to date her right away, it took Dan time to warm up. Actually, they didn't even hook up until the night before graduation! Just goes to show you

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  • First Dates: The Best and Worst

    Credit: Eric Ryan/Getty ImagesCredit: Eric Ryan/Getty ImagesGena Kaufman, Glamour magazine

    Exciting news you guys! I went on my first official date since I fled my old life (and my old relationship) and moved home to Ohio. Want to hear about it?


    Great news: It didn't suck! OK, maybe not the highest standard of success, but the last time I went on a date in New York after my breakup, I cried so hard on the subway on my way home that a stranger actually came up to comfort me. Not my finest moment. So this was a huge improvement-good bar, a few drinks, and he got points for walking me home. My hesitation to get back in the dating scene means I'm taking everything crazy slow, but should this go anywhere, you know I'll keep you guys updated.

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    7 Signs of True Love

    Anyway, first dates totally freak me out. Do you guys get that way? I get nervous and I dread them for days, but usually when I go, I'm like, "Oh, that was actually pretty fun. Why did I worry so much?" And then I repeat the exact same process the next time. Habits,

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Pagination

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