Blog Posts by Smitten, Glamour Magazine

  • I've Seen One Minute of Online Dating Rituals of the American Male, and I'm Already Scared

    by Gena Kaufman

    Getty ImagesGetty Images Online dating is so confusing that there isn't a woman who's tried it and hasn't wondered what in the world is going on in the minds of the men they interact with. Hence, Bravo's upcoming reality show, Online Dating Rituals of the American Male, seems like automatic must-see-TV.


    Here's the network's description:

    Bravo Media unmasks the world of the booming online dating culture from the male perspective on the new docu-series, Online Dating Rituals of the American Male. Each week, the show follows two men as they hunt for their ideal partner (or fling!). Viewers will get an inside look at the male psyche from the beginning stages of trolling and communicating online to landing a date with a potential match. The series features a variety of men from the typical "romantic" searching for his one true love to the guy whose goal is strictly getting lucky. From earnest romance to cringe-worthy moments, viewers will get a taste of the trials and tribulations that come

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  • How to Tell If a Guy Likes You: Actor Miles Teller Shares 4 Signs

    by Glamour

    Jeff LipskyJeff Lipsky
    Need to figure out if a guy likes you? That Awkward Moment star Miles Teller shared his own surefire signs.


    1. He holds your hand around his friends. Guys know they're gonna get sh-t from their buddies if they're being gooey or too sensitive, so if a guy's comfortable enough to hold your hand in public-that's more than just sex. That's sincerity.

    2. He lets you "borrow" a sweatshirt. If I like you, I'll want to see you again, and be able to get it when I need it.

    See more: 10 Trends to Try in 2014


    3. He talks to you on the phone. When you talk, you share your day for real. you can only talk to one person on the phone at a time, so calling shows you're committing time to someone. If you're just hooking up, you text.

    4. He wants you to hang out with his friends...and he hangs out with yours. If I like a girl, I want my friends to like her. And if I care, I want to make a good impression--I want her friends to like me too. Then it's on.

    To read the full "What Read More »from How to Tell If a Guy Likes You: Actor Miles Teller Shares 4 Signs
  • 3 Rules of "the Leave Behind" I Learned This One Time I Accidentally Became a Semi-Stalker

    by Gena Kaufman

    Getty ImagesGetty ImagesIn a recent discussion with a friend about why I didn't want to follow up with a guy I had a great first date with but hadn't heard from again (sigh), I was reminded of the rare dating story I haven't yet told you guys about. Of course, it sums up a time when I had no choice but to get in touch with a guy post-sort-of-date and how it went terribly, terribly wrong…

    It was early 2009. I was just about to turn 27, and I'd recently been dumped by my long-term boyfriend for the first time (we would later repeat this process in 2011, as you all know). So on a cold winter Monday night, after meeting a group of cute boys at the BYOB sushi restaurant I was dining at with some girlfriends, I went home and made out with one of the guys in a misguided attempt to get over my breakup. (Please note: This never really works.) I wasn't ready to date or to get too physical, but a PG-13 sleepover sounded like just the ticket to Distractionville I needed. I went home the next morning

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  • Go Ahead and Skip This Month's Book Club--Sex Might Actually Make You Smarter

    by Gena Kaufman

    Studying, basically. (Getty Images)Studying, basically. (Getty Images)Is this ultimate catch-22? Having sex might make you smarter, but being smarter means you'll have less sex.


    According to new research, sexual activity can improve mental performance and improve memory function. Via a study looking at middle-aged rats (exactly what you want to associate with your sex life, I'm sure), those engaged in sex showed signs of improved cognitive functions. If you're not that interested in the sex lives of rodents, previous research on actual human women has suggested that orgasm is a great mental exercise. So: Stop reading, have more sex?

    See more: 13 Sneaky Habits That Can Cause Acne

    Well, not so fast. If, like me, you're feeling a little concerned that your brain might be going to mush because you've been single and with a rather inactive sex life for quite some time, there's a flip side that might make you feel marginally better. Sex may make people smarter, but being smarter doesn't mean you'll have more sex. Maybe you're just not Read More »from Go Ahead and Skip This Month's Book Club--Sex Might Actually Make You Smarter
  • How Long is Too Long for Me to Be the One Pursuing a Guy?

    by Gena Kaufman

    Getty ImagesGetty Images Our awesome reader is going after the guy she wants, but she's not sure if it's time to throw in the towel. Let's discuss.


    She writes:

    This fall I had been trying to get together with this guy I know through some past coworkers. We had hung out a couple times in a group setting and seemed to hit it off, but we didn't end up getting together again until November. I wasn't sure if it was a date, and as soon as I met him he said, "I asked other people if they wanted to come, but they are busy. They may meet us for drinks later." OK, not a date. We went rock climbing together, which was fun, and then out to a bar, where we found out the people who were maybe going to come couldn't. We ended up staying at the bar for four hours talking! I was having a good time, and toward the end of the night, he leaned in and kissed me. We kissed a couple of times before we left the bar and he kept saying stuff like "I'll have to find another adventure for us." I paid half the

    Read More »from How Long is Too Long for Me to Be the One Pursuing a Guy?
  • Kelly Osbourne's Mature Post-Split Statement Makes Me Wonder If Celebrities Are Just Better at Breakups Than Us

    by Gena Kaufman

    Getty ImagesGetty ImagesThere's a reason there isn't a famous song called "Breaking Up Isn't Actually That Bad If You're Just Mature About It," and that's because, for most of us, breakups are generally a messy, painful thing.


    But in the world of celeb PR, breakups are another story. They're always "amicable" and "mutual" and "respectful" (or at least that's what we're told until we get the E True Hollywood Story years later.) For instance, take Kelly Osbourne's comments after the recent announcement that she and Matthew Mosshart had ended their engagement.

    "It was a mutual decision. We love each other very much. It just wasn't the right time for us, and I think if we weren't as mature and adult [as] we are, then we could have gone down a road that wasn't really nice. We're still really, really good friends; it's just we're not living in the same house. There's no dramatic story. I wish there was so I had something to tell people but no...it just happens in life."

    See more: 10 Trends

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  • There's Scientific Proof that Smug Couples Really Are Trying to Make You Feel Bad

    by Gena Kaufman

    Kate PowersKate PowersNo matter how many times you try to tell yourself it's all in your head and that your couple friends don't pity you, you don't quite believe it. And that's because they really do. On the other hand, you can be kind of a jerk to them too, so get off your high horse, lady.

    Obviously, saying that all couples pity single people is an overly simplistic statement, but there is scientific truth behind the general sentiment. It's called "normative idealization," and it means that people have a tendency to idealize their own lifestyle and believe it's better for other people too. According to research done at Stanford University and the University of Waterloo, the more people feel "stuck" in their current status, the more threatened they feel by the idea of people enjoying the opposite lifestyle.


    See more: 13 Sneaky Habits That Can Cause Acne

    Thus, if a woman in a couple thinks it would be very hard to leave her relationship, she's more likely to think that people in Read More »from There's Scientific Proof that Smug Couples Really Are Trying to Make You Feel Bad
  • 8 Sex and Dating Topics We Hope to Never Ever Hear About in 2014

    by Gena Kaufman

    Getty ImagesGetty ImagesIn the grand tradition of noting the good and the bad of the past year, we have to acknowledge that along with all the lovely, romantic things that happened in 2013, there were some real groaners as well. Here, we discuss the eight things we're really hoping not to hear more about in 2014.


    Catfishing. No, this topic wasn't invented in 2013, but the year did bring the most bizarrely confusing case of a faked online identity we've ever heard of, courtesy of college football player Manti Te'o. Frankly, we're still not sure what happened there, but it made us feel so weird, we'd rather not see it happen again.

    Funky uses for, uh, spunk. Look, bodily fluids are natural and a part of sex, and that's fine. But please, let's keep them out of our drink recipes and our gifts from secret admirers.

    Single shame. It's bad enough that we learned that being single could literally cost you an extra $1 million over a lifetime. We don't need a lecture about how we're past our

    Read More »from 8 Sex and Dating Topics We Hope to Never Ever Hear About in 2014
  • Here's the Prime Age for Women for Online Dating--and Why I'm Not that Sad to Be Past It

    by Gena Kaufman

    Getty ImagesGetty ImagesMy first serious foray into online dating came when I was 26 and in the middle of the first of what would be two breakups with the same guy. Round two came when I was 30, and it's still going strong as my 32nd birthday creeps up on me later this month. (Send cards and wrinkle cream, please.) I noticed a marked difference in the amount of attention I got the second time around, but when I insisted it was because I was over 30, people told me I was imagining it.

    I'm not. According to a new study of more than 81,000 single people between the ages of 25 and 35, there are women who receive significantly more attention online. Those women are 25 and 26. There are also women who receive the least amount of attention. They are 33. You can see which end of the attention spectrum I'm closest to. Eep!

    See more: 10 Trends to Try in 2014

    For the most part, I'm actually fine with that. Well, let's start with what I'm not fine with: According to the same study, men's Read More »from Here's the Prime Age for Women for Online Dating--and Why I'm Not that Sad to Be Past It
  • Dos and Don'ts for Making New Year's Resolutions for Your Love Life

    by Gena Kaufman

    Getty ImagesGetty Images Welcome to 2014, Smitten readers! Today's the day we all nurse our hangovers and make grand resolutions to lose weight, save money, and learn to speak Italian. Tomorrow's the day we all immediately fall back into old habits and forget all about our lofty goals.


    Resolutions can be a good way to start new habits, but they're never going to work if they're unrealistic or unhealthy. And, yes, that goes for your love life, too. If you're setting goals for the new year where romance is concerned, here are some Dos and Don'ts guidelines for how you should be making them.

    See more: 11 Dating Don'ts You Should Stop Doing Now

    Don't: Resolve to find a boyfriend by spring. While it's fine to want to find that special guy, it's not something you can necessarily do on a particular timeline, and it doesn't need to be your main goal in life.
    Do: Resolve to be more proactive about meeting people. Join a weekly bowling league or ask your friends to set you up. This way, you

    Read More »from Dos and Don'ts for Making New Year's Resolutions for Your Love Life

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