Blog Posts by The_Stir

  • Enough of sad & skinny models, bring back the Cindy Crawfords!

    supermodelsupermodelCindy. Naomi. Linda. Kate! If heard individually, you might not know who they are, but grouped together, only one thing comes to mind: Supermodels!

    Oh, how I loved supermodels growing up. They were so glam. They were so sexy. They were so fierce! They weren't real people -- they were divas, just like models should be. Big hair, bodacious curves, stilettos as far as the eye can see (except for Kate). Remember when Linda Evangelista said, "I don't get out of bed for less than $10,000 a day"? I mean, who says that?! Or when Kate Moss and Johnny Depp trashed that hotel room? So edgy! They were living, breathing characters out of a movie, and it was awesome.

    More from The Stir: Insanity Workout: Would You Try It?

    Fast-forward to 2011, models are so skinny and so boring. They're all walking around in flats. They're all home early because they have kids. And I've yet to hear of a single one trashing a hotel room. What is it with you straight-laced ladies? I hate to break it to

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  • Weird bra avoids wrinkles, but may ruin sex life

    If you're worried about your boobs, you aren't alone. It seems that even as we sleep at night, our breasts are growing wrinkled and ugly. Luckily, now there is a bra for that.

    The La Decollette Sleeping Beauty bra is kind of like the opposite of a normal bra. While a normal bra is built to support your breasts and lift them up, this is built with the bra cups cut out and a sort of T-strap running up the middle of your chest. Allegedly, this is to be worn at night to avoid "cleavage wrinkles."

    More from The Stir: Chinese Corset: One of Many Weird Breast Enhancing Contraptions

    Until about 20 minutes ago, I wasn't aware that I COULD have cleavage wrinkles. But I do know now that if I wear this bra to bed, I won't be getting laid that night. Or possibly ever again.

    It's one of those weird beauty things that never make any sense. We're supposed to do so many overnight beauty treatments in order to be more attractive and, presumably, to get laid more, but most of us are

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  • Sex appeal lessons for non-sexy klutzes like me

    Some women just ooze natural sexiness. They don't even have to do or say anything. It wafts from their pores like a come hither fragrance and glows around them like an alluring light. There are the widely agreed upon, rarely disputed babes, like Halle Berry, Charlize Theron, Rihanna, and of course, the pouty-mouthed models that strut the runway and push consumer products.

    More from The Stir: More Women Are Becoming Unwilling Porn Stars

    But there are also the everyday sexpots at Starbucks, sitting with their legs dangling delicately crossed and sipping seductively on their mocha frappuccinos. They strut in four-inch stilettos on the train and sashay into happy hours looking like they're just starting their day rather than wrapping it up.

    And then there's me. The non-sexy klutz. I'm about as sexy as a slab of meatloaf, and up until recently, I've been OK with that. But lately, I'm wondering: Can you learn how to be sexy or is it just something that comes naturally?

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  • Most overweight states report: I escaped the midwest just in time

    A new report from the CDC tells Americans something we already know: we're tubby. In fact, almost 70 percent of adults over the age of 20 are overweight or obese. Holy crap, 70 percent!!! That's almost all of us. Take a look at ten people around you, are seven of them obese? Not around me, but I'm in California, which apparently isn't on the top of the list of the fattest states in America.

    More from The Stir: Twinkie Diet vs. Vegetarian: Which One is Better For You?

    What are the states with the largest people in America? Those in the South, of course. And a couple in the Midwest. Go figure.

    In order, the 10 fattest states in the union, are:

    1. Mississippi
    2. Louisiana
    3. Tennessee
    4. Kentucky
    5. Oklahoma
    6. West Virginia
    7. Alabama
    8. Arkansas
    9. Missouri
    10. Michigan & South Dakota -- tied for last

    So what are all of these people eating down south and in the middle? Just one look at my family cookbook will tell you everything you need to know. A

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  • 30 new & improved lines to leave your lover

    Temperatures are rising here at Ask Dad headquarters in LA. Time to hold your men close or cut 'em loose, whichever leads to summer lovin' and havin' a blast. How can I help?

    Dear Ask Dad, I'm just not feeling it with my boyfriend of six months. Got a suggestion for how to break it off? I think he's liable to freak.

    Ask Dad is an expert in many aspects of love, but breakups have become something of a specialty. We're not exactly George Clooney, but we know how to land a solid dismount. So how about instead of one line to use, we give you 30? One for every day of the month. Just in case you have a stalker-type who refuses to go. We'll offer everything from the sweetest to the meanest, should he push you and make you go there.

    More from The Stir: STDs Don't Have to Be a Dating Dealbreaker

    1. You've got tiger's blood, I've got plain old people blood. Winning just isn't in the cards for us.

    2. I lost all respect for you when I saw the video on YouTube for that

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  • Menstrual cups are not the period dream we've been sold

    Menstraul cupsMenstraul cupsSometimes it sucks being a woman. I'm not going to deny it. Every lady out there is looking for the magic bullet, the promise to make the period less pain in the neck, more minor inconvenience.

    More from The Stir: $80 for Tampons? Bloody Hell

    And along came the menstrual cup. Little silicone cups that catch your menstrual blood. No huge diaper-like contraption between your legs. No killing trees and filling landfills with those tampons and their cardboard applicators. Sounds like a dream come true, right? So why haven't we heard of them before?

    They've been around for decades, but the beauty of blogging has brought them back out in the last year or two as the be all and end all. The silicone cups you stick up your vag every month are the new "if you're not doing it, you're just not cool." Welcome to peer pressure Internet-style. With all the lovely lady bloggers singing their praises, you just want to jump on that cup bandwagon, right? NOT SO FAST.

    I was all gung ho

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  • Snooping forces relationship honesty -- that's why I do it

    My name is Janelle Harris, and I'm a recovering snoop. I can't explain it. An urge just comes over me and I feel led to scour phones, check emails, peruse laptop histories. Before technology was so advanced, I went through drawers and sniffed out incriminating pictures. (The kind that had to be developed in an actual lab. Remember those?) More often than not, I found something that warranted an explanation. I sought, and I sure did find.

    More from The Stir: New Website Outs Cheaters in Full, Disgusting Detail

    Walk with me, if you will, through a little scenario in Hypothetical Situation Land: Your man has been texting someone hot and heavy all day, chuckling at messages, waiting for replies, fingers flying over the keyboard. The backlight on his iPhone has been illuminating the room so much that your curiosity is piqued. Of course you could ask him who in the blazing hell he's talking to, but you don't want to seem all Maury Povich, angry girlfriend-ish. He runs out to get

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  • Pass the mac & cheese, Spanx makes swimsuits

    woman in blue swimsuitwoman in blue swimsuitWouldn't it be great if we didn't have to worry about getting our bodies swimsuit ready for the summer? Wouldn't it be wonderful to not have to wake up at the crack of dawn to fit in a workout before work? Wouldn't it be amazing if you could spend all those hours at the gym eating or sleeping instead?

    Well, what if I told you that you don't have to do a thing to get ready for bikini season? What if I told you that Spanx ... made bathing suits?

    Well, it's true! Spanx, purveyors of thin waists and slim thighs, now has a swimsuit line, and let me tell you, it is ... interesting.

    More from The Stir: Want to Be Skinny Like Gwyneth Paltrow? Prepare to Torture Yourself.

    First, let's discuss the styles. Some, like this one, are kind of cute.

    woman in spanx swimsuit

    It's plain, modern, stylish, and won't draw the wrong kind of attention.

    Others, like this one, I default to the much overused phrase: Not so much.

    woman in spanx swimsuit

    That isn't a swimsuit. It's a dress. You don't need to pay $198 to wear a

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  • Wear my gym clothes in public? I'd rather go naked!

    gym clothes in publicgym clothes in publicI love Tim Gunn. Back when Project Runway was still on Bravo and I watched it religiously, he was half the reason I tuned in. He seemed like such a polite man who had a killer fashion sense and a heart of gold.

    I have a bone to pick with him right now, though. Tim Gunn -- sweet, kind Tim Gunn -- is suggesting that we should never wear our workout clothes in public. Actually, he's not suggesting it -- he's demanding it. He recently said to Shape magazine, "Gym clothes in public? Never! Change at the gym!"

    Change at the gym? That's one of the craziest things I've ever heard, Tim Gunn. What planet are you living on? Do you think I just have a few extra hours lying around all the time? And gym showers are g-r-o-s-s!

    More from The Stir: Sperm Jeans. You're Welcome.

    I don't think Tim gets it. Frankly, I don't think he understands what this entails because I don't think he goes to a gym. If he does work out, he probably has a personal trainer come to his house or something

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  • Polka dots get sophisticated -- 11 looks you'll love!

    Katie Holmes polka dot pumps
    In typical Katie Holmes style, she stepped out the other night in one of spring's hottest trends -- polka dots! At the premiere of The Decision in NYC, Katie strutted her dots in these fun yet sophisticated black and white polka dot pumps.

    Think you're not into polka dots? Think again. Here are 11 sophisticated polka dot picks for your spring wardrobe -- all under $80.

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    11 Pretty Polka Dot Picks Under $80

    polka dot shirt blouse

    Polka Dot Shirt ($39.90) at ZARA

    seychelles peep toe polka dot pump

    Seychelles 'Amethyst' Peep Toe Pump ($79.95) at Nordstrom

    polka dot top blouse navy

    Polka Dot Top ($16.90) at Heritage 1981

    polka dot scarf

    Chocolate Sprinkles Scarf ($13.99) at Ruche

    More from The Stir: Can You Really Wear This Dress 60 Different Ways? (PHOTOS)

    polka dot tie tank top

    Pins and Needles Polka Dot Tie Tank Top ($39.99) at UO

    polka dot clutch

    Merona Clutch & Dot ($12.99) at Target

    polka dot short high waisted

    Free People 'Sheila' Polka Dot Shorts ($58) at Nordstrom

    pink dot bag polka

    Polka Dot Bag ($32) at Hansel from Basel

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