Blog Posts by The_Stir

  • cameracameraIf you are like me and always shudder at photos of yourself taken close-up, you can take heart. A new study from Cal-Tech proves that photographing a subject up close makes them appear uglier and less trustworthy. Holy hell. It explains so much!

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    Apparently, the close range warps the features and makes the person appear more sinister. Photographs taken from four feet away or more appear much more attractive regardless of how attractive that subject really is. Wow. Crazy.

    But it explains so much. I did a little experiment on my own and looked through some photographs of me to see how I felt about them. Sure enough, the ones that were taken at long range, even if it was a close up on my face with the lens, came out better. See the example below:

    me closeme close

    I hate this photo of me (though I love my necklace). I think my face looks totally disproportionate and my body looks warped. If anything, I

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  • 10 Things My Husband Says ... Only in My Dreams

    Last week, I wrote a list of the things my children never say, like, "Mommy is on the phone right now, so let's entertain ourselves quietly," and "You're in the bathroom? OK, I'll wait to ask you my unimportant question." Some of the statements proved to be pretty universal, and it made me wonder if the same could be said for spouses. The following are statements I only dream of hearing my husband utter. Do these things go unsaid in other homes, too?

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    1. Let me load the dishwasher. The mess in the kitchen is really bothering me.

    2. I'd really like for you to try a new, exotic recipe! Maybe you can even use the Crock-Pot!

    3. I was thinking I'd get the kids up early and take them to a park today.

    4. Here's the remote. You can pick what to watch.

    5. I love the new pink hue of my undershirts! You should wash your red socks with my whites more often!

    6. You could really use some new black yoga

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  • Sex Confession: I Have X-Rated Dreams About My Ex (And I'm Happily Married!)

    woman dreamingwoman dreaming"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.

    Today's sex confession comes from Carla* who swears she's happily married, enjoys a great sex life with her husband, but cannot stop dreaming about her ex. Actually, a few exes. She has sex dreams about them -- vivid, intense sex dreams where she wakes up feeling like it was really happening and it makes her want to get it on with her husband. But then she feels weird about it and guilty that some former flames in her life are invading her dreams and having sex with her. Read on to hear more from Carla.

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    If it happened once, then I wouldn't think it was a big deal. Twice, three times even. But these sex dreams keep on happening. I probably have one a week and it's not always the same ex --

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  • 9 Signs Your Kid is Too Darn Big to Be Riding in a Stroller

    StrollerStroller

    We'd all love to keep our babies babies just a little while longer, to cuddle them and kiss on them and nuzzle their little pint-sized bodies before they get all independent and will only let you hold them when they're sick or sleepy. But moms (and dads, grandparents, and nannies), there have been a number of TDBFS-that would be Too Damn Big For Strollers-sightings, and not just in walking-intensive areas like amusement parks. It's not going to keep your little ones little any longer. It's just going to stress your stroller out.

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    I've seen children well on their way to middle school stuffed into and stooped over inside of Peg Peregos and Orbits, knees all but dragging on the ground beneath them, mommies and daddies seemingly oblivious as they dutifully push their overloaded bundles of joy on wheels. It seems some of us don't know quite when to let it go. If I may, I offer a few tips:

    1. If
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  • 21 'Boy' Names that Sound Better on Girls

    androgynous namesandrogynous namesAndrogynous names are all the rage these days. Why name only a boy Taylor when the name is just as cute on a girl? Shawn can be a female or male and be just as cool. After all, why should boys get all the fun? Boys' names are pretty adorable!

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    In fact, in my son's class alone, there is a little girl who shares his name (Alan), and I will say it's equally sweet on them both. As the daughter of a man named Ashley who grew up being addressed as Mrs., I know it wasn't easy to have a name that was associated with girls.

    But things are changing and my guess is now, 30 years from now, no one will assume any gender when it comes to names. Here's my list of "boy" names that sound better on girls.

    1. Scout: I have loved this name ever since To Kill a Mockingbird.
    2. Dani: Could be short for Danielle or just Dani by itself. Either way, it's a very cute name, especially for a little girl.
    3. Charlie:
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  • 7 Signs It's Totally Time to Dump Him

    There are a lot of things that go along with romantic relationships: love, companionship, commitment ... and breakups. Breakups happen to (almost) all of us, which means that we've all experienced the "should I stay or should I go?" moments in our lives. Sometimes, they can be cut and dried, but other times, it's a whole big mess.

    Here are some signs that it's TOTALLY time to dump him.

    1) He talks trash about you. Maybe it's to an ex. Maybe it's to his coworkers. Maybe it's to the guys. Either way, you've found out he's talking smack, and really, how can you trust someone with so little regard for you?

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    2) You caught him cheating. Infidelity in any relationship is a hard pill to swallow, so if you don't think that cheating is one of those things you'll be able to "get over," dump him.

    3) Playing interference. We all have families, and many of us aren't super close to them. That's okay. But when your

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  • 8 Hot Styles Inspired by 'Honey Boo Boo' -- Seriously!

    Y'all see my forklift foot?Y'all see my forklift foot?Everything Honey Boo Boo touches is gold. She's got, like, the sword of Godric Gryffindor and the world is her, uh, whatever the redneck equivalent of an oyster is, it's hers. (A pork rind?) Though she's a celebu-tot on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, lemme tell you something about your girl you probably didn't know. Honey child's got some serious style and y'all need to redneckonize, ok?

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    It's not just Boo Boo that's blowing up the style charts, it's a family affair. Their look is, well, it's like Beverly Hillbillies met up with Carrie circa season two of Sex and the City, had a verbal exchange with The Brady Bunch, then hit the shelves on a Dress Barn budget. They're beautimus and damn knowledgeable about life, too.

    If there was a ever a time you found yourself wondering, "Would Alana Thompson wear this?" then this one's for you. Prepare to be sassified ... here are the top eight smexy fashion and beauty

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  • 15 'Girl' Names that Sound Much Better on Boys

    boy's namesboy's namesJohnny Cash sang famously about a "Boy Named Sue," and while it seems that things have changed a bit, it's still not always easy for a boy with a "girl's" name. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't give them. The fact is: sometimes a "girl's name" is just better on a boy.

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    My son Alan shares his name with a girl, and while I like it on her, I must say, I prefer it on my little man. I think a name like Sam (my daughter's name) is probably equally good on a girl or a boy, but a name like Avery is just better on a boy.

    Obviously, these are my opinions, but here are 15 "girl" names that sound much better on a boy:

    1. Ashley: In Gone With the Wind, the object of Scarlett O'Hara's love is Ashley Wilkes (try to avoid a Southern accent when saying that, I dare you), and while it has become a "girl's" name in recent years, I still far prefer it for a boy. Also, it's my
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  • Discovery of 'Mom Gene' Explains Why Some of Us Don't Crave Having Kids

    mother and childmother and childAs a child, I was always mystified by those girls who always wanted to play "Mommy" or "House." It just never held the same allure to me. Sure, I liked Barbies, but I was pretending they were flying around the world or solving mysteries, not having babies or getting married to Ken.

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    In my 20s, I was equally bewildered by all the women I met who dreamed of being moms more than career women and those that actually felt that it was what they were meant to do. Totally, freaking baffling to me. I just never got it. I know I'm not alone.

    In the world of mothers, I have learned there are two kinds -- women who love being a mom but honestly believe they would feel no less complete if they weren't; and those who could not imagine being anything else. And now I know why.

    There may be such a thing as a "mom gene," according to a research study out of Rockefeller University in New York. The conclusion: some of us

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  • In Defense of Having Sex Before Marriage

    wedding ringswedding ringsLast week, conservative blogger Steven Crowder wrote a holier-than-thou column discussing how "waiting 'till his wedding night" was the "right" way to get married. Women who said his wedding night sex would be "awkward and terrible" are, in his mind, "floozies," and apparently, men who said the same, "with their fickle manhood tied to their pathetic sexual conquests, felt threatened." Did he come off as judgmental? Condescending? Self-righteous? Hell yes! He even admitted it -- and was proud, using the defense that he's been judged his whole life. Womp womp.

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    Crowder isn't alone. Many who wait for marriage have been acting as if they know better than the rest of us heathens for decades. It's about time someone on the other side fight back, and thankfully, that's what writer Jill Filipovic recently did in The Guardian.

    She put the truth out there, clear as day: "Having sex before marriage is the

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