Blog Posts by The_Stir

  • Lawn Ornaments That Assault the Senses

    If you think your neighborhood association is bad, try living in Sag Harbor, a fancy pants area of the Hamptons. Formerly a haven for artists including Jackson Pollock and Lee Krasner, it's now a battleground for two art dealers and public officials.

    Take a gander at this giant leg sculpture by acclaimed Larry Rivers that's causing all the discontent in paradise. These legs have been outside the couple's home for two years, but some residents think it's an eye sore and are looking for zoning regulations to forbid the legs from being on display.

    More From The Stir: 5 Easy Fall Decorating Ideas For Your House

    I have to say it's growing on me.

    It may not be the most amazing piece of artwork ever produced, but hey, it's better than these lawn ornaments that I would vote right out of town.

    awful lawn ornaments

    You really don't want to live next door to this guy. REALLY.

    awful lawn ornamentsA starving tiger that seems to be able to punch whoever is behind him with his tiger fist. I hope this was a

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  • Is Parenthood Harder for the WOHM or the SAHM?

    Oh, I know, right? What a completely obnoxious blog title. For the love, you're thinking, if this turns into a Mommy War piece, I will personally take a giant steaming crap on your windshield.

    (Or ... perhaps not? Perhaps that particular colloquialism is mine alone? Shame, really. It's such a versatile threat, you'd think it would get used more often.)

    More from The Stir: 11 Ways to Ensure Your Kid Ends Up in Therapy


    Anyway, don't worry, I'm not here to take sides, and I certainly hope you aren't. I've just been thinking lately about what sort of answer I'd give to that question, because someone recently asked it of me. As someone who used to do one thing and now does the other, she wrote, which do you think was/is harder for you as a mom?

    Here is where we immediately step into very tricky territory, right? Because of course it doesn't matter what I think. Every family is different. There is no universal "better" when it comes to parenting, unless we're talking

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  • 4 New Recipes for Boring Thanksgiving Classics

    Does your family fight over drumsticks, but leave a pile of mashed potatoes? Is cranberry sauce a nod to tradition, but not something anyone actually eats?

    While you probably have classic family recipes that will always have a place at your Thanksgiving table, sometimes all you need is an additional ingredient to jazz up the tired dishes at your table. Try these four flavor twists on Thanksgiving classics. Yum, but they may take some getting used to ...

    More From The Stir: Pumpkin Icebox Pie -- No Baking Required!

    Out with the old: Cranberry sauce

    In with the new: Citrus sauce

    Instead of plain cranberry sauce, try citrus-cranberry sauce. I've never been a fan of the stuff from the can, but my mom started making this recipe from fresh cranberries, and it's now one of my favorite Thanksgiving foods. The addition of lemon, lime, and orange juice, as well as a bit of ginger, complements the tart cranberries and brightens the entire dish into a welcome contrast to the

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  • Your Parents Are Sex Gods (Just Ask Them)

    The world may come to an end after I say this, but it's official. If you're struggling with sex, there's no one better to ask than your parents.

    The baby boomers think they know everything about, well, everything. So is it any surprise they've crowned themselves the sexiest Americans too? In a survey by the Associated Press, the boomers came off as cocky as always, with the majority saying there's no confidence issue in the bedroom, thank you very much. They think they know all there is to know about sex.

    More from The Stir: The Big O After Age 80 -- Run for Cover!

    Considering they're done making babies and the next generation is charged with populating the world, it's time to get over the "ewww, that's Mom and Dad bumping uglies" factor and learn something from them.

    Love those sweet, sweet fantasies baby

    The boomers haven't let their minds go to waste as they face retirement age. As much as 72 percent of guys and 48 percent of women are having sexual fantasies.

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  • I Found My Husband With Gay Porn!

    As we look to the week ahead, let us remember to also give thanks (though not during grace, please) for love and sex and sex and love, without which the kids' table would be empty. Now let Ask Dad candy your yams.

    I found a gay magazine in my husband's underwear drawer. Um, how do I even begin to tackle this? Is this a sign my husband might be gay -- or is he just curious in a car wreck kind of way and looking for different outlets of stimulation?

    I think you've got a serious -- maybe insurmountable -- problem on your hands. A magazine? In almost 2011? Does he also tiptoe down to the penny peep show and take a gander? (Don't let the minister catch you! Unless he's inside too! Wink!) Is his stag film projector broken? Is the tracking screwed up on the VHS player? Someone needs some iPhone smut for Christmas.

    More from The Stir: My Husband Is Gay and Yours Probably Is Too

    Oh wait, you must be worried about the gay thing. Well, there are a million possible reasons for

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  • 5 Household Items That Double as Sex Toys

    Too embarrassed to venture in to an adult toys store? Or don't want to make any sex toy purchases online?

    Don't worry. If you look around your house you may see some common household items that will serve the same purpose.

    More from The Stir: 5 Discreet Sex Toys to Take on Vacation

    An added benefit? If you're traveling over the holidays, and staying at your parents' or grandparents' house, you can still bring the item with you and no one will be the wiser.

    Because what you don't want is to be like my friend who brought her (big) dildo with her when she went to her mom's house for a visit and hid it under the covers. In the morning, her mom started making her bed for her but stopped and walked out into a roomful of people to ask her 35 year-old daughter, "Honey, what's this? I found it in your bed?"

    Oops.

    Here are 5 everyday items that can double as sex toys whose manufacturers may, or may not, have realized their orgasmic potential:

    More from The Stir:

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  • You're Too Old to Wear Trendy Clothes

    dressdressSomeone mentioned to me earlier this week that '90s beauty and style trends are back. Seriously? Oh, naw.

    I have no reason not to believe it, but I do not want to.

    Here's why: The last couple years, it's been all about the 1980s styles coming back. I wore these things the first time around when I was a teen, and have lived through the shame of finding the photos and saying, "What were we thinking?" and tucking them back into their box so my children can stumble across them and piss themselves laughing, just like I did about my mom's '60s beehive and dad's '70s wide lapels.

    More from The Stir: Mom Jeans Do Not Make a Style Icon

    Not only does this make me feel really, really ancient to see the fashions of my youth paraded around ironically by hipster kids, but this also means there is not a damn thing for me to wear. See, I have an ironclad rule, and if you are over 35, you'd be well advised to listen up.

    That rule is: One time only on trends. If you were old

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  • All Natural Solutions to Soothe Diaper Rash

    There are a lot of diaper rash creams, ointments, gels, and even medications out there, but a lot of them contain nasty, dangerous, or even irritating chemicals.

    Diaper rashes can be tricky, since every baby is different, and there can be many, many causes of rashes, from food allergies and acidity to a yeast infection or even viruses.

    Whether you decide to buy a product or use things you have in the house, there's a lot of ways to treat rashes without ever letting something toxic touch your precious baby's booty.

    More From The Stir: 6 Stressful Things Moms Can Stop Worrying About

    Here's a guide on what to buy and what to avoid.

    Skip anything with BHA (butylated hydroxyanisole). On the Skin Deep Cosmetics Database, on a scale of 0-10 with 10 being the most dangerous, this ingredient rates a 10 for being a known toxicant, hormone disruptor, carcinogen, causing changes on a cellular level, and for being bio-accumulative, meaning its toxins build up and stay in the

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  • 10 Non-Human Things I'm Thankful For

    Thanksgiving spreadThanksgiving spreadIn honor of Thanksgiving, I thought I would present the things I am thankful for this year. Now, of course, my amazing children, very tolerant husband, and good health top the list. But here are some other things I simply can't imagine life without. As I bow my head at the table, these are the images that will be floating through my mind ...

    More From The Stir: Beyond the Soup Kitchen: 20 Other Ways to Give Thanks

    1. My Shower. We've lived in many houses, some with crappy showers and some with great ones. The one we have now is the perfect size, has the perfect water pressure, and has a little bench for me to prop up and shave my legs. It's a little oasis. On the days I actually use it, I mean.

    2. Mr. Clean Erasers. I have no idea how we lived without these little white rectangular miracle workers, and I shudder to even imagine. I whip out a new pack weekly to deal with everything from crayons on the wall to when my children embellish their shoes with paint.

    3. My

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  • Is a Vegan Thanksgiving Completely Absurd?

    vegan thanksgiving dinnervegan thanksgiving dinnerThere's nothing ridiculous about a Thanksgiving dinner sans animal protein. In fact, plenty of people -- vegans, vegetarians, and even people who don't fall in those categories -- do it every year. Sure, it might seem a little strange to celebrate without a turkey. But there are plenty of delicious, festive dishes to serve in its place.

    More From The Stir: Pumpkin Icebox Pie -- No Baking Required!

    Here are some of the things people who follow a vegan diet eat for Thanksgiving ...

    The trick to a satisfying vegan Thanksgiving is to serve a rich variety of hearty vegetable dishes; and in-season veggies are definitely the tastiest. Dishes such as pumpkin soup, garlicky greens, mushroom pot pie, and roasted squash salad sound so amazing, even your carnivore guests won't realize something's missing! Here are few recipes to tantalize your guests with this year:

    • Pumpkin lasagna made with whole wheat noodles, fresh sage, and nutmeg will fill your guests up in no time.
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