Blog Posts by The_Stir

  • 'Bat Wing' Beauty Treatment Could Magically Flap Away Arm Flab

    bat wingbat wingPut down the Shake Weight -- there's a new arm toner in town. A new machine will supposedly trim and tone your bat wings without diet, exercise, or surgery. All you have to do is sit there while a technician waves a magic wand, a.k.a. the world's most advanced radiofrequency technology thingamajig on your underarm fattiness, and poof, all that stuff that's been flapping around there for years is gone.

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    I have no idea if this actually works, but wow do I find this promising. Ever since we landed on Mars, getting rid of bat wings was like the last thing science had to conquer. And now, check!

    Let's be real, underarm fat is really hard to get rid of. It's very difficult to target and it just seems like once it arrives, it's there to stay. If this treatment really works, I'm sure there will be a lot of happy women out there who can fly to their medi-spa on their wings, then walk home with pride.


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  • 10 Hot Boots Moms Won't Kill Their Feet in (& 10 They Will!)

    bootsbootsI like fall for three reasons: dressing in layers, pumpkin spice and apple everything, and boots. Fall is where it's at. Boots are wear it's at. (Get it!?) What's not to love about wool socks and comfortable boots!? Duh, it means I don't need to shave my legs every other day. Don't even! You're thinking it too.

    It's just ... ugh, there've been some seeeeriously wacked-out, uncomfortable-looking styles out so far. And some of the prices? Wow. I'm hoping it's just a case of the over-achievers needing to get their shoes out first, not caring what they look or feel like. As I'm not a shoe scientist, I cannot confirm this. So you've got all season long to redeem yourself, designers.

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    For now, let's take a deep, dark look at 10 of the zaniest, most high-maintenance boots that've made their debut so far and then thankfully! 10 sexy but more practical, comfy boots we can

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  • The Way You Part Your Hair Reveals a Lot About You

    blonde hairblonde hairHow you wear your hair says a whole lot about you. If it's frizzy and a rat's nest, that reveals you've had a bad night and an even worse morning. In fact, you probably ran out of coffee. This has happened to me and my hair told the story. But beyond the state of your locks, I was thinking about how people wear their part. And what it says about that person.

    I used to have side swept bangs, which I wore both to the left and to the right. So perhaps that had to do with mood. Now I'm a center part person. Which reveals even more. Read on to find out my thoughts on what your part says about you.

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    Taking into account that left brain/right brain stuff, and adding in my own highly scientamatific findings, here's what I came up with.

    To the left (meaning your left):

    You are reasonable and unbiased, which means you don't fly off the handle when the kids are fighting over the one fire truck toy

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  • 20 Truly Bizarre Pickup Lines to an Online Dating Virgin

    Online DatingOnline DatingBe honest with me: Have you tried online dating? I feel like it used to be one of those totally secret "OMG I CAN'T ADMIT TO THIS" things, and now everyone's meeting someone online. OK, maybe that's just what I'm telling myself. I have a tiny confession: I made my first online dating profile Sunday night. After a few glasses of wine, a friend and I thought it could be fun. So heck, I went for it.

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    It's ... interesting. And by interesting, I mean pretty entertaining. Mostly because in the last 52 hours or so that I've been a member of this one particular site, I've gotten more than 250 messages from men I don't know. All of them, hitting on me. I haven't been hit on by 250 men in my lifetime. Screw it, I haven't been hit on this aggressively EVER. Granted some of the suitors may be nice, normal men -- but most of them? Erm. Not so much.

    I just can't keep this to myself. Are you

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  • 8 Things Moms Need in Their Closets for Back to School Mayhem (PHOTOS)

    colored jeanscolored jeansMost of us are so busy doing back-to-school shopping for our kids that we tend to neglect ourselves -- and our wardrobes during this time of year. But as much as we want our kids to have everything they need to be ready for school, there are also a few items moms shouldn't feel guilty about buying for themselves in order to look stylish and ready for fall. And as much as it's tough to hang up our summer dresses and comfy shorts, we're definitely nearing the point where the temperatures just won't fit with our clothing choices anymore.

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    I mean, we're already out shopping, so why not throw a few extra items into the cart?

    One thing I plan on picking up this season is a cute pair of colored jeans, like the ones pictured from Old Navy, which are definitely all the rage right now. They're such a nice change from traditional blue denim, and they give moms an extra edge, which can be

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  • Man Has Fork Lodged in Stomach for 10 Years -- No Forking Way!

    Plastic Fork Gets Stuck in Man's StomachPlastic Fork Gets Stuck in Man's StomachSo there's this man across the pond in England who goes by the name of Lee Gardner. Gardner was recently complaining of severe stomach pain and (sorry to be graphic) found blood in his vomit -- poor chap. Naturally, he went to the hospital, doctors operated, and you will NEVER believe what they found. Ready for it? A 9-inch plastic fork lodged inside of his tummy scratching the lining. Casual, really.

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    It turns out that 10 years back, Gardner was "playing around" with the disposable fork when he gagged and "accidentally" sent the four-pronged item down his throat and into his stomach. Um. Erm. Ow?

    Even better, though (trust me) after the whole shebang happened, he went to a doctor who told him it was no biggie, and it would pass.

    Wait. Who the hell would be OK with a response like that?! He had a FORK IN HIS STOMACH -- for crying out loud!

    Yeah, not me. What's even more bizarre is

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  • Cooking with Kids: A Recipe for Disaster!

    kids bakingkids bakingModern Mom Mythbusters #8,742: Cooking and/or baking with your kids is not, in fact, the wholesome, quality time-spending, good memory-making activity it's cracked up to be. Trust me. You know those moms on TV who practically radiate sunbeams as they teach their suspiciously well-groomed children how to whip up a batch of perfect chocolate chip cookies?

    Well, screw 'em! Those b*tches are lying to you!

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    Here's the thing: I'm not saying DON'T bake with your kids. I mean, all things considered, it's still an excuse to interact with them in a non-yelling way, and it doesn't involve a screen or any other type of electronic pacifier-type device, so you can add points to your good parent score and stuff. I'm just saying, kids in the kitchen? It ain't always pretty. Oh, and the stuff you bake won't always be pretty, either ... like the Martha Stewart-inspired cupcakes I tried baking with my two kids a

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  • 10 Things Your Toddler Tells You & What He REALLY Means

    toddlertoddlerToddlers may be young, but that doesn't mean they haven't learned how to fool us into getting exactly what they want! From the minute my little guy started talking, I quickly picked up on a few tricks he had for trying to persuade me into doing whatever it is he had in mind.

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    And while bigger kids are notorious for telling us all sorts of things with hidden meanings while heading back to school, toddlers can be just as clever in their efforts to fool us. Besides clinging to our legs to get out of going to preschool or day care, here are 10 other popular toddler phrases and their deciphered meanings for your reading pleasure.

    1. "No, no, Mommy. I not tired."

    I'm completely and utterly exhausted, but I'm terrified that I'll miss all of the fun that I know goes on after you put me to bed.

    2. "Pleeeeeeaaasssssseeeee Mommmmmmy!?!"

    If I keep saying this over and over again and

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  • 10 Worst Parenting Lies

    toddlers with halostoddlers with halos

    If you think about it, we lie quite a bit as parents. The tooth fairy, Santa Claus, the fact that TV will turn their brains to mush ... The list goes on and on. But as parents, we are also lied to quite a bit. I asked my friends for some of the worst parenting lies they've been told, and I've heard many of the same. The following are the most common lies we fell for -- did you hear them, too?

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    1. That parenting comes naturally. Loving? That comes naturally. The rest is hard work.

    2. That you can't get pregnant while breastfeeding. I have many a friend who can prove that one wrong.

    3. That baby weight falls off. In our dreams!

    4. That boys are easier than girls. Sorry, but they're all impossible.

    5. That a c-section is the easy way to have a baby. In what world is major surgery considered easy?

    6. The twos are the most terrible. Have these people never met the threes or fours?


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  • 5 '80s Looks to Love & 5 More We’d Love to Forget (PHOTOS)

    80s style80s styleBig shocker: Fashion recycles and repeats itself (flared jeans, anyone?). Even bigger shocker: '80s inspired trends are hot again this season. Ok, fine, it's not like the '80s retro, funky fashions ever totally left the scene (raise your hand if you've ever been to a disco-party!) but now the style is soaring back. Oh hell, yea!

    When I heard the news, I listened to "Let's Get Physical" on repeat and recited as many lines of Dirty Dancing as I could recall from rote memory. And while that was all well and good, pictures of horrible '80s looks kept surging into my imagination. So I'll admit it: There were lots of fashions from the beloved era that completely missed the mark. But there were dozens of cute keepers.

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    Check out five '80s inspired styles that you need to get right this instant -- and five more that should've stayed buried.

    High-Waisted JeansHigh-Waisted Jeans

    Image via Urban Outfitters

    High-Waisted Jeans

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