Blog Posts by The_Stir

  • 5 Ways Couples Therapy Can Ruin Your Marriage

    wedding ringswedding ringsIf there's one thing those of us who have been married for a while know, it's that staying married over the long haul ain't always easy. Thanks goodness for couples therapy, right? Or... not? An article in The New York Times this weekend kind of blew apart the notion I had of couples counseling being the THE ANSWER.

    Richard Simon, editor of The Psychotherapy Networker, says, "It's widely acknowledged that couples therapy is the most challenging." What therapists know but patients may not realize is that the therapists themselves "often feel confused, at odds with a least one of your patients, out of control."

    More from The Stir: Separate Bedrooms May Save Your Marriage

    "It's like piloting a helicopter in a hurricane," say couples counselors Peter Pearson and Ellyn Bader. Yikes, that bad? Apparently couples therapy kind of is up there with rocket science -- and there are so many things that can go wrong.

    Therapists aren't used to being ninjas. A therapist's role is

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  • Dating a Mama's Boy? Here's Some Help

    A guy loving his mother? That's a sign of a great guy ... most of the time. Knowing your man loves his mama -- that family is important to him -- is the mark of a true catch. Except when it's not. Sometimes the catch to that great catch? He's a Mama's Boy.

    How do you know if you're dating a Mama's Boy? And most importantly, how do you deal with dating a Mama's Boy?

    Let's find out.

    More from The Stir: 8 Dating Tips EVERY Woman Should Know

    First, you have to figure out if you've found a real Mama's Boy or just a guy who loves his Mom. There's a very important distinction there.

    A true Mama's Boy has never cut the umbilical cord -- he still goes to Mom for any major decisions, like getting a job, or moving across the country. He also goes to her for validation. Also? A Mama's Boy will take his Mom's side no matter what. A Mama's Boy still relies on Good Old Mom for food, cleaning, and laundry ... at age 30!

    Yipes.

    So what do you do if you're dating a Mama's

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  • One Reason to Wear a Wedding Ring Even If You're Single

    wedding ringwedding ringThe Canadian government wants to make sure their native ladies aren't going to get harassed while abroad, so they've come out with some controversial advice in a guide called Her Own Way: A Women's Safe Travel Guide, which outlines female-specific tips for traveling. You know, because the fairer sex faces "greater obstacles" when traveling alone. One of the highlights: Advice for women to keep a couple of secret weapons on hand whenever they're jet-set.

    More from The Stir: Woman Who Lost Engagement Ring on Train Is Saved by a Miracle (VIDEO)

    The guide advises, "Wear a (fake) wedding ring. Also carry a photo of your husband (or an imaginary one), which you can show to persistent suitors. Being seen as married will lower your profile and stave off uninvited advances."

    Oh dear, here we go ... We have no choice but to "prove" that we've got a guy around in order to protect ourselves, huh? How paternalistic! Hrrmph!

    But, on a second thought, it's actually not terrible

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  • Calling Divorce 'Immature & Selfish' is Immature, Selfish & WRONG

    With a divorce rate of roughly 50 percent, almost all of us know someone -- a friend, a colleague, a family member, ourselves -- whose marriage didn't work out. We tell ourselves, especially if they had kids, that the family will be better off, that they will all be happier in a split family than they would in a united but fighting one. Writer Penelope Trunk of The Brazen Careerist isn't so sure.

    More from The Stir: 4 Communication Pitfalls in Relationships -- and How to Fix Them

    Trunk has built a career on being shocking and saying everything that is on her mind. With a post she did a few days ago, she has certainly ruffled a few feathers. In it, she calls divorce an "incredibly lame and selfish route to take." She says: "Divorce is immature and selfish." Wow. This is especially interesting coming from someone who is herself divorced and who is also trying to work out a relationship with a man she openly admits abuses her on a regular basis.

    In other words, her opinion

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  • 6 Totally Obvious Signs It's a Great Relationship

    You're in love. Of that there is no doubt. The two of you are like peas and carrots together. There's nothing you don't love about the other (well, okay, his habit of putting the toilet paper roll on THE WRONG WAY is kinda annoying, but you know). You spend all the time you can together. You may even talk marriage.

    So, what are the signs you're (finally) in a healthy relationship? I'll tell you.

    More from The Stir: 6 Completely Outdated Relationship Rules You Should Ignore

    1) You can be your true selves together. No longer do you have to pretend to love Chinese food or weird obscure foreign films -- you're totally happy saying, "You know what? I'm not into this" while knowing this won't affect a thing between you.

    2) You're have your own space and time to yourself. Sure you want to spend every minute together -- but you know that you each need your own space. You can respect that without feeling insecure, hurt, or otherwise jealous of his "me time."

    3) You

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  • Condoms You Scan to 'Check-In' During Sex Aren't as Wacky as They Sound

    colorful condomscolorful condomsWhen people first started using Foursquare and Facebook to "check-in" (at the gym, at the library, at their own homes), I was baffled. Why would you want everyone -- perhaps even strangers -- knowing where you were? Now, I sort of get it (because I do use Foursquare to get coupons and it's fun to wrack up points). But does that mean I would ever want to "check-in" ... in bed??? Uh, no thanks! When and where I'm going for an O is my BF's and my biz, no one else's -- especially not an entire social network's!

    But there are people who feel differently. Planned Parenthood of the Great Northwest recently distributed 55K condoms with scannable QR-codes (barcodes). The idea is that you can scan the code on the condom wrapper with your smartphone and report the location of where you're having sex to wheredidyouwearit.com. It's supposed to be like "Foursquare for people who don't want STDs."

    More from The Stir: 5 Ways to Have Sex Without Having Sex

    Yes -- to clarify and

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  • The Leather Harness Belt: Will You Try This Trend?

    ASOSASOSBloggers are rhapsodizing over at MTV's style blog about the affordable harness belts up for sale at ASOS right now.

    Featured on the fall 2012 runways of several major fashion designers, the harness belts, until now, had been a trend only available to the super rich.

    But now, ASOS is bringing this craze to the masses, with harness belts as low as $29.

    More from The Stir: Adriana Lima's Diet Trick: BYO Salad

    Does this mean we're going to start seeing these things on the streets in, like, OHIO?

    Oh please, God. No.

    I'll show you some more harness belt options, but in the meantime, what do you think of this new trend?

    ASOSASOSYou can get a colorful take on the trend with this Leather Stud Detail Harness (ASOS, $71.62).

    ASOSASOSOr try out the look for cheap with this leather look Harness Belt (ASOS, $25.07).

    More from The Stir: Under-Eye Skin Problems: What's Your Solution?

    ASOSASOSKeep the girls in place with this 4 Strap Pastel Harness Belt (ASOS, $28.65).

    ASOSASOS

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  • Under-Eye Skin Problems: What's Your Solution?

    FlickrFlickrI love sharing beauty and fashion advice with all of you ... but now I need your help.

    More from The Stir: Woman's Terrifying Hair Dye Allergy Reminds Us to Read Labels

    Over the last few weeks, the delicate skin just beneath my eyes has gotten very dry. I've tried every eye cream I have on the area (including some super-expensive samples), but nothing's really helping. In fact, it's only making things worse -- I woke up this morning with PUFFY skin under my eyes and darker-than-normal circles.

    UGH.

    That's why I need your help. How do you keep the skin around your eyes moisturized? What do you do about dark circles under your eyes? And how do you eliminate that puffiness FAST?

    Let me know in the comments!

    More from The Stir: Adrienne Bailon's X-Rated Wardrobe Malfunction Is the Dirtiest You'll See

    Here are some remedies for puffy eyes that I've found online:

    • Drink plenty of water to clean out your system.
    • Place two slices of cool cucumber on the
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  • Kim Kardashian Makes a Super Stylish In-Vest-Ment

    Kim Kardashian jean cropped vestKim Kardashian jean cropped vestI think Kim Kardashian has super powers and knows how to read my mind. I'm 100 percent serious. So what if we've never actually spoken (we did rub elbows once). Every time I start getting into a trend, there goes Kim K copping my style. Exhibit A: Kim was out and about in Los Angeles yesterday rockin' this jean crop vest. Hellooooo! Vests are so totally MY thing.

    Okay, I kid. Kim, you look great in your vest! So much better than the furry vest monstrosity you wore a few months ago. This jean look is a homerun for sure.

    More from The Stir: The Leather Harness Belt: Will You Try This Trend?

    Answer me this: who doesn't love an item of clothing that makes them look instantaneously slimmer? I adore the curves that a vest gives me, along with the instantaneous confidence boost.

    Want to feel foxy and cop my Kim Kardashian's vest look? Check out these 7 fun vests for every style:

    Kohl's vestsKohl's vests

    I adore this light and flowy Pelpum Vest from Lauren Conrad's collection at Kohl's

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  • 6 Completely Outdated Relationship Rules You Should Ignore

    Seems like there's a zillion and a HALF relationship rules to follow. Do this, don't do that, always do this, never do that. It can leave even the most experienced of those of us who date with our heads whirling.

    The first step in finding the good ones to follow is to weed out the bad. I've brought you a list of the most antiquated of them all out there -- so you can cross 'em off your list.

    More from The Stir: Dating a Mama's Boy? Here's Some Help.

    Here are 6 of the most outdated relationship rules that we need to kick to the curb.

    1) Playing hard to get and making a man chase you. I'm not suggesting that we women throw ourselves at the feet of a potential suitor and beg and plead that he take us out! No one wants to be a Pity Date. Guys don't dig the whole thrill of the chase -- they want to KNOW if you're into them. So playing hard to get? That's SO last century.

    2) The man is responsible for paying on dates -- always. Ladies, it's 2012! We're strong,

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