Blog Posts by HowAboutWe

  • The 10 Best Chick Flicks for Guys

    By Alison Vingiano for HowAboutWe

    Men, we're gonna save us all some time and just say it now: at some point, you will have to watch a chick-flick with your significant other. Given this reality, we decided to arm you with a few that you'll actually enjoy.

    You can follow Alison Griffin Vingiano on twitter and tumblr.

  • The Science of Stalking

    Hugh Jackman deals with his stalker.Hugh Jackman deals with his stalker.By Kayt Sukel for HowAboutWe

    In recent weeks Hugh Jackman made headlines when he was confronted by a stalker as he left a gym in New York City. Katherine Thurston, 47, followed the actor from his home to the gym, where she chased him with an electric razor (reportedly full of her pubic hair) and repeatedly declared her love. It wasn't the first time Thurston had accosted Jackman-he and his family reported seeing her outside their home, as well as his children's school.

    Plus: 10 Things Not to Do in the Bedroom

    Many news outlets wanted to focus on the hilarity of the situation. But the important question in this situation is, what causes someone to stalk? Sure, Hugh is a tall and handsome celebrity, and some of us might follow him around for a minute to snap a photo. But what is happening in the mind of a person who goes to such lengths to repeatedly follow a celebrity to work, break into his or her house, and even threaten his or her family?

    Plus: Here Is Where We Get Honest About

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  • Is Anyone Ever Truly ‘Ready’ for Cohabitation?

    Living together is still a big deal.Living together is still a big deal.By Melanie Berliet for HowAboutWe

    Last fall, my boyfriend was in the process of moving when my landlord decided to kick me out (I'd spent thousands of dollars to renovate the apartment she technically owned, all without her permission). On the upside of eviction, I saw a message: The universe wants me to live with my boyfriend-in a place furnished with dimmers and proper faucets so I won't have to hire an unlicensed electrician and plumber to install them. My boyfriend agreed.

    Plus: The Sexiest Things Shakespeare Ever Said

    Some might call this "sliding, not deciding" to cohabit. But even after living alone for ten years, I didn't feel compelled to spend hours weighing the pros and cons of moving in together. If anything, since my divorcé of a boyfriend had already gone down the traditional relationship path, I was excited to "live in sin." It was something new for both of us. I didn't view it as all that serious, or some giant leap toward engagement.

    To me, shacking up provided the

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  • Why Friendships Are the New Marriage

    Are BFFs the new spouses?Are BFFs the new spouses?By Glynnis MacNicol for HowAboutWe

    The longest relationships I've ever had have all spanned over a decade. They've been meaningful, intense at times, and deeply, deeply rewarding.
    They've also all been with friends.

    When I first arrived in New York City, a transplant from Canada without a single NYC number in my phone (actually I didn't even have a cell phone) I met three women who have had a larger impact on my life than anyone else.

    Plus: Let's Get Honest About Whether He Likes You Or Not

    Those friendships shaped the usual roller coaster ride that is your twenties: break-ups, job losses, late rent checks, evictions, diabolically ill-conceived nights out, and countless moves into fifth-floor walkups. In my thirties, we have supported each other through weddings, family crises, marriage, and children.

    These relationships are as close to unconditional as I can hope to find, and they will continue throughout my life. It's not hard for me to imagine meeting these women for happy hour

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  • What Do Men Think when Women Say They Don’t Want Kids?

    It's impossible to truly know.It's impossible to truly know.By Ryan Dodge for HowAboutWe

    Max wasn't fazed when Katie*, the woman he'd been dating for a few weeks, casually mentioned that she didn't plan on having children. While Max has always known that he wanted to be a father, he was only 25 at the time and still in business school-it's not like he wanted to be a father now. He was happy to put the matter aside and enjoy what at that point was still just a fling.

    Plus: Is Anyone Ever Truly 'Ready' for Cohabitation?

    During the first few years of their relationship, Katie's desire to remain child-free came up occasionally, but Max says he "never took it as a fundamental precept of her life philosophy, an unyielding commitment that she had." And as she grew closer to Max and his large, happy family, her stance gradually softened. "Never" became "if," which eventually became "when." Max and Katie have now been together for six years and plan to start a family together at some point in the not-too-distant future.


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  • This Actually Happens: Setting a Date for Your Breakup

    Breaking up becomes a numbers game.Breaking up becomes a numbers game.By Jo Piazza for HowAboutWe

    I have historically been a bad breaker-upper. In my twenties, I subscribed to the wisdom of Bryan Brown's Doug Coughlin, the wizened old bartender in "Cocktail," that "all things end badly, or else they wouldn't end."

    Plus: Is Anyone Ever Truly 'Ready' for Cohabitation?

    Not everyone is as fatalistic as I am. In fact, a new trend of breaking up has emerged: couples are deciding to be not only civilized about their impending splits, but punctual. They're planning ahead and setting a date for their breakup (sometimes going so far as to put an actual date in the calendar), and then enjoying their final days together before ushering in a clean break.

    Sound too good to be true? Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn't. In the right circumstances, a planned breakup can be the result of a meaningful and honest conversation in which both parties are fully honest with themselves and each other. Realistic goals are made, expectations are set, and then

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  • The 8 Most Unlikely Celeb Couples (And Why They Work)

    By Lilit Marcus for HowAboutWe

    As the famous song goes: is she really going out with him? Sometimes celebrity pairings make total sense, while others have us scratching our heads wondering what the hell they see in each other. Lots of times, these odd pairings (Remember Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson? Can you believe Drew Barrymore used to be married to Tom Green?) last as fleeting oddities, but sometimes they manage to make it work. Here are a few star couples who seem strange on paper but are quite happy in real life.

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  • Losing My Libido: One Man’s Story

    Where have all the flowers gone?Where have all the flowers gone?By Amit Wehle for HowAboutWe

    The folk classic "Where Have all Flowers Gone" is often credited to Joan Baez, but it was actually written by Pete Seeger back in 1955. Which makes perfect sense, since Mr. Seeger would have been exactly 36 years old at the time, meaning he would have been inspired to write a song about his shrinking libido (which is clearly what the hit classic is really about).

    Plus: Why Friendships Are the New Marriage

    The song resonates with me because like Pete Seeger back in '55, I'm now 36, and can attest to Father Time's ax systematically chopping down on my erections over the last few years. The realization of this diminished sex drive sort of snuck up on me. Like most of aging's "tricks," it has been a gradual thing.

    Plus: What Men Really Think When They're Watching Porn

    You see, nobody suddenly wakes up bald. No one jumps out of bed with a gut, or looks in the mirror one day to find copious back hair plus a complete inability to recognize any artist on the

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  • Male Friendship: Why You Can’t Change it (And Shouldn’t Want To)

    Bromances are actually incredibly important.Bromances are actually incredibly important.By Ryan Dodge for HowAboutWe

    "Look, I know this is gonna sound weird, but I love you guys!"

    That's the closest my friends and I get to expressing in words how much we mean to each other. It's usually shouted into the middle of a beery group hug, over the din of a wedding band or a crowded bar, and it always does sound a little weird. But it also feels good, more than any of us would like to admit.

    Plus: Are You in a Relationship Rut? You may be suffering from FOBU

    There are two crucial facts women should understand about fraternal love. First, it is based on competition. Andrew O'Hagan made this point beautifully in a recent essay for The New York Times Style Magazine: "We compare ourselves with other men, and we get bigger or smaller in our eyes depending on how well we can compete."

    Plus: Women Are Apparently Most Seductive at the Age Of…

    For O'Hagan and his worldly chums, these competitions come in the form of arguments about "the writing of Evelyn

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  • What We’re Really Doing when We Gossip About Other Couples

    What are you really saying?What are you really saying?By Ryan Dodge for HowAboutWe

    It starts as soon as my girlfriend and I are out of earshot, the inevitable epilogue to every double date. It doesn't matter who speaks first; we both know the entire script by heart.
    Plus: Are You in a Relationship Rut? You may be suffering from FOBU

    "That was fun," one of us says.
    "Yeah," the other replies.
    "They seem good."


    "I'm worried about them."

    We then quickly delve into specifics about the close friends we just hugged goodbye-the way she glared at him when he tipsily knocked over his wine glass or, if things seemed good, the way he gazed at her like she was a cross between the homecoming queen and Mother Theresa. If they seemed particularly dysfunctional, we can easily spend ten minutes analyzing their tone of voice and duration of eye contact with a degree of scrutiny that wouldn't look out of a place in a CIA interrogation dossier.

    Plus: Women Are Apparently Most Seductive at the Age Of…

    Why am I so eager

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