Blog Posts by HowAboutWe

  • KimYe. Vs. Kate: Lessons in Fame and Relationships

    Kim K. or Kate Middleton?Kim K. or Kate Middleton?

    By Jillian Lucas for HowAboutWe

    When it comes to famous couples, Kim Kardashian/Kanye West and Kate Middleton/Prince William now top the list (have Brangelina finally been unseated for good?). With the announcement of impending parenthood for both young couples, it's time to acknowledge the fact that while the 2 pairs share a massive spotlight, they couldn't be more different when it comes to balancing (and courting) fame versus nurturing their relationships. Here's a closer look at the Kim-to-Kate spectrum.

    Kim:

    Privacy:

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  • Why Women Have Never Had it Better when it Comes to Dating

    Dating in the tapestry days.Dating in the tapestry days.By Chiara Atik for HowAboutWe

    This post is the second in a series. Previously: In Defense of Millennials, Part 1.

    The growing perception of Modern Dating for women is that it's a chaotic, directionless spiral away from commitment and into drunken hookups and futility.

    But, honestly? Women today don't have it bad when it comes to dating. In fact, we have it pretty wonderful. The reason, of course, is freedom - we have the power, and tools, to have our dating life be however we'd like it to be.

    For centuries and centuries, a woman's lot in life was based entirely on the supposition that she would get married, and the sooner the better. In the middle ages, a girl would live in her parents house until the ripe old age of 15 or so, at which point her father would march her down the aisle and hand her off to a husband. The next 25 years would be spent getting pregnant, narrowly escaping death during childbirth, and picking out new tapestries for the castle great room, or

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  • In Defense of Millennials: Why Texting & Social Media Make Us Better at Dating

    MillennialsMillennialsBy Chiara Atik for HowAboutWe

    It's not easy (or pleasant, or lucrative, or enviable) to be a millennial, at least according to the mainstream media narrative. Take a look at the New York Times on any given weekend and you'll find page after page tsk-tsking the foibles of our generation - we're doomed when it comes to dating, feckless with our finances, unambitious and underachieving when it comes to everything else.

    But as a millennial, I see these pieces as nothing more than an exaggerated fiction, sprinkled with granules of truth. Yes, forging into adulthood after the cocoon of college and starting to create a life for yourself is riddled with frustrations and fuck-ups. That's always been the case. But when you look at the big picture, millennials are in a uniquely great position to create the lives they want, with advantages and opportunities that other generations would envy.

    Throughout the next week, we'll be making the case for millennials. and showing why being one is

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  • What Jodie Foster Can Teach Us About Honoring Your Ex

    Jodie FosterJodie FosterBy Lilit Marcus for HowAboutWe

    This week at the Golden Globes, a highlight was Jodie Foster's acceptance speech for her Lifetime Achievement Award. The 50-year-old actress has been quietly out of the closet for quite some time, and in her speech she made a stir by stating that she already considered herself to be "out," even if she didn't have "a fragrance and a prime-time reality show" to show for it. But beyond the discussion of her sexuality, the star made a point of acknowledging her ex-partner and co-parent, Cydney Bernard:

    "There is no way I could ever stand here without acknowledging one of the deepest loves of my life, my heroic co-parent, my ex-partner in love but righteous soul sister in life, my confessor, ski buddy, consigliere, most beloved BFF of 20 years, Cydney Bernard. Thank you, Cyd."

    Such public and effusive praise of your ex is rare in Hollywood, let alone society at large. While it's not completely unheard of for Hollywood stars to stay on decent terms with exes

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  • "Bigger Better" Syndrome: Is the Internet Turning Men into Serial Dating Machines?

    Digital DatingDigital DatingBy Justin Rocket Silverman for HowAboutWe

    Commitment is impossible for me.

    Why commit, when the world of online dating offers a constant and appealing array of potential ladies? It's like a high-quality buffet in Vegas, with no penalty for discarding one dish in favor of another, hotter entrée. I might even be eyeing the other options before I've really gotten know the one I just put on my plate.

    Or so says The Atlantic, in a well-titled story called "A Million First Dates." Online dating, the story asserts, is turning men into dating-monsters, who use their internet connection to date, and subsequently discard, as many women as possible.

    In the story we meet "Jacob," who demonstrates the sheer impossibility of caring too deeply for any one relationship, especially when there are so many women vying for his attention on the computer screen. Never mind that his main activities in life appear to be watching sports and going to bars. As we are quick to learn, he doesn't really mind if

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  • Why We Still (Really) Need Dating

    Dates don't have to be fancy to be great.By HowAboutWe

    This past Friday, the New York Times all but declared that dating is dead (though they hedged with a question mark: "The End of Courtship?"). You're probably familiar with the territory of this well-worn trend story: We're now living in a "hookup culture" where women are lucky if suitors grace them with a booty call text message before 10 p.m., much less show up with flowers, much less pick them up, much less ask them on a proper date at all.

    Dates may have suffered a beating, but it's crucial that we save them from further harm. (And let's be clear: a "date" can be anything from a seven course dinner at a five-star restaurant to a free museum tour; it doesn't have to be lavish in order to count.) But dating is absolutely necessary; its importance cannot be overstated. Here's why dates are so critical to the beginning (and duration, but that's a separate story) of a relationship:

    1) Sexual chemistry - do you have it? A date isn't the only way to tell, but it's the

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  • Millennial Women, Rejoice: It’s Our Hookup Culture, Too

    Stoopin' ItStoopin' ItBy Chiara Atik for HowAboutWe

    Dating, courtship, and any hope you might have of a functional relationship is dead, at least according to The New York Times, which this past weekend painted a pretty bleak picture of the romantic lives of twenty-somethings. In "The End of Courtship," Alex Williams describes a world where an evening of boxed mac n' cheese equals romance, where attraction is conveyed via tweets, and where all of it seems to be happening without the consent of women, who are forced to covet scraps of male attention in the form of 10 pm text messages and group hang-outs that may or may not result in sex but will under no circumstances lead to a relationship.

    The article cites a laundry list of reasons for this depressing landscape, both economic and technological, but the fault seems to lie in the hookup culture that permeates major cities and college campuses around the country. Because we came of age by hooking up at parties, the argument goes, millennial women are

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  • Do You Judge a Man Based on His Clothes? What If His Clothes Are Made of Gold?

    Midas TouchMidas TouchBy Chiara Atick for HowAboutWe

    Money can't buy love, but it CAN buy a $23,000 custom-made gold shirt, which you can wear to impress ladies, or at the very least, get some international press.

    Datta Phuge of Pimpri-Chinchwad, India, hired 15 goldsmiths to make his gilded tunic, which he's styled with, oh, six? seven? gold chain necklaces, three gold cuffs, an enormous gold watch, seven golden rings, and a crystal pendant.

    Says Phuge, "I know I am not the best looking man in the world but surely no woman could fail to be dazzled by this shirt?"

    Plus: Fascinating (& Surprising) Patterns Discovered By Analyzing One Million First Dates

    Well, for the record, I don't think he's terrible looking; nothing a trip to the barber wouldn't fix, anyway. But more to the point, there is absolutely no way that a perfectly average-looking man who can afford a $23,000 shirt would need to resort to wearing something outlandish in order to get attention. I mean, my goodness, when did it get difficult

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  • Wedding cakeWedding cakeBy Jennifer Armstrong for HowAboutWe

    Dan and I met when we worked on a college homecoming float together at Northwestern University just outside Chicago-his fraternity and my sorority were partnered for the parade, I was a sophomore, he was a junior. I was still dating my high school sweetheart, but soon enough, I wasn't. Dan would become my first "adult" relationship-my first sex, my first make-life-plans-together, my first follow-him-across-the-country, my first cohabitation, and ultimately, my first engagement.

    It would take a decade, but it would all happen, until one day I woke up improbably doubting the impending wedding plans that had seemed to take forever to get to. Where once I was obsessing over what I'd say in my vows when we finally got engaged someday, instead I was thinking: Crap, there are vows? Like, forever vows?

    What I would eventually learn is that "cold feet" are not a harmless nervous reaction to potentially getting hitched. While well-meaning relatives and

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  • 5 Relationship Books that Are Actually Worth Your While

    OutdatesOutdatesBy Jennifer Armstrong for HowAboutWe

    For most of us, there's no more dysfunctional relationship in our lives than the one we have with self-help books that purport to tell us the secrets to relationships. We know they're silly, full of crap, and oftentimes detrimental (hi, Why Men Love Bitches!), but the human heart is a confusing place. And when we get lost, where do we go? To those blasted books. Maybe they'll be different this time, we rationalize. Maybe the next one will tell me the ultimate secret to love and everlasting happiness.

    Well, probably not. But as a longtime lover/hater of such books, I've become a bit of a connoisseur. And I can tell you that if you read one of these five (admittedly not your typical self-help books, but instructional and relationship-oriented nonetheless), you won't hate yourself in the morning. In fact, you'll learn something useful along the way:

    Plus: How To Stop Playing The Blame Game When You're Single

    Against Love
    Yes, it seems weird to

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