Blog Posts by Redbook

  • How to Talk to Your Kids About Bullying

    By Charlotte Hilton Andersen, REDBOOK

    If there is a worse feeling than seeing your child get off the bus with a bloody nose and scratched face, it's the one you get as you listen to your sweet little kindergartner tell you how he was beat up "by a big bully, Mom!" I was so upset I was shaking as I dialed the school. I want my kids to learn, to have fun and to work at school, but most of all I want them to feel safe and in one fell swoop that illusion was shattered.

    I think all of us remember some incidents from our childhoods of being bullied in some way. As a girl I never got my nose bloodied, but I did have a group of older boys hawk loogies into my hair every time I walked down the hallway to my locker, but things have changed in just a few short decades. Thanks to the advent of the Internet with its warren of chat rooms, anonymous websites and Facebook comments and the increased sophistication of cellphones, bullies have a whole host of newer and subtler ways to

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  • Dear Whys Guy: "Why Does My Husband Belittle Me About My Sex Drive?"

    By Aaron Traister, REDBOOK

    DEAR WHYS GUY:

    My husband is an attentive and thoughtful lover, but my doctor recently put me on a medication that kills my drive and makes it almost impossible to get from point A to point B without what amounts to overstimulation (toys plus hubby every time). At first when I explained this, he seemed to understand. Now he makes little hurtful comments or accuses me of not loving him. What's the deal?

    DEAR REDBOOK READER:

    Related: What Your Man Really Thinks in Bed

    Firstly, what guy actually cares that his wife needs a vibrator? I could understand if he was frustrated because he wasn't having sex at all, but how does your use of a toy diminish his experience? I'm gonna give your husband the benefit of the doubt and hope that this is all a communication breakdown. Maybe his ego is bruised and he's trying to make light of the situation by making jokes and he doesn't realize that they are hurting your feelings, in which case you need to

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  • Shock Tactics: Co-Sleeping Ad (Warning: Disturbing Picture)

    co-sleeping ad

    By Charlotte Hilton Andersen, REDBOOK

    For the first time in my life, I found myself hoping that the ad I saw had been heavily photoshopped. The public service ad from Milwaukee's health department (see image) features an adorable infant snuggling up to a… meat cleaver. What parent would allow that awful a photo shoot to happen? But the real controversy is about the tagline: "Sleeping with your baby can be just as dangerous." Co-sleeping has long been one of the most contentious issues in parenting, with advocates pointing out that this is how humans have slept for thousands of years and others pointing to all the incidences where parents smothered their newborns.

    As the mom of four kids, I'll admit that I have never co-slept with any of my children. But this is for different reasons. (I can't sleep with anyone touching me, and babies are noisy sleepers.) If my kids sleep with me, then they will be the only ones in the bed actually sleeping. But that's just me. (Yes, I

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  • 13 Things Parents Wish Other People Knew About Their Kids

    By Charlotte Hilton Andersen, REDBOOK

    "What is the #1 thing you wish you could tell non-parents about your kids?" This was the question I posted on Facebook, and within minutes my inbox started filling up with replies. But many did not go the way I had anticipated. The first problem was that all my non-parent friends felt judged by the question and immediately went on the defensive. And, of course, my parent friends spend a significant portion of their lives feeling judged and got defensive too. Lastly, several people pointed out that sometimes our harshest critics are other parents. And that's not including the people who don't have kids but wish they could. Everyone to their corners!

    My point in asking the question was not to judge anyone, regardless of their spawning proclivities, but rather to help bridge that gap that so often occurs in public places when our child is doing something awful and we know everyone is staring. In that moment, to help explain and remedy the

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  • Dear Whys Guy: "My Guy Keeps Asking Me to Fulfill His Disturbing Fantasy"

    By Aaron Traister, REDBOOK

    DEAR WHYS GUY:
    My boyfriend often shares his fantasy with me about us having sex in public, which I realize is a harmless, common fantasy for both males and females. But what disturbs me is that he fantasizes about me intentionally fully exposing (and I do mean fully) my body to these strange men. The cake topper is that he asks me if we can attempt to pull-off the fantasy in reality. Does this preoccupation fall within the normal "guy realm" of sexual behavior, or is it deviant?

    DEAR REDBOOK READER:

    I'm not a sex therapist, but let's try to work through this using a little common sense. Firstly, I wouldn't classify his preoccupation as within the "normal guy" realm because I'm not sure a normal guy realm exists. Whether it's being turned on by old folks, sex machines, or watching your partner with another man, in a world of easy access, anything goes. Guys who watch a lot of porn have grown up in a world where their sexual proclivities

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  • The Great Mom Debate: Is Feeding Your Kids in the Store Stealing?

    child eating in storeBy Charlotte Hilton Andersen, REDBOOK

    You know when you're awake at night imagining all the worst-case scenarios that could happen to you and your kids? (Mine always involve choking for some reason.) Well, one Hawaii mom lived out hers when she and her husband were arrested in a Safeway grocery store and their young daughter was taken away by child services. Her horrible crime? Eating a chicken salad sandwich in the store and forgetting to pay for it.

    Nicole Leszczynski was doing her weekly grocery shopping with her family when the pregnant mom began to feel faint. So she ate the sandwich and saved the wrapper, intending to pay for it. Unfortunately the sandwich slipped her mind by the time she got to the cash register. Both she and her husband were arrested for theft, and their daughter Zofia was taken into protective care-even after they offered to pay for the sandwich. This story thankfully has a happy ending, as Safeway agreed to drop the charges and Zofia was reunited with her

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  • Settle an Argument: Should Partners Always Be Invited to Family Events?

    By Perri O. Blumberg, REDBOOK

    Stacy, 30, and Dave, 34, have been dating for over a year. Things are going wonderfully, but they recently ran into some friction when Dave attended his cousin Michelle's birthday party, but didn't invite Stacy to come along for the festivities. Who's right?

    Related: 17 5-Minute Marriage Makeovers

    He says: "My cousin moved out of state, so I only get to see her about once or twice a year. We were really close growing up, so when she was in town to celebrate her birthday, I just wanted to spend all the time I could with her to catch up. It was nothing personal against Stacy, but sometimes I like to hang out with friends or family alone."

    He says: "I was hurt that Dave didn't invite me to Michelle's party. A night out with the guys is one thing, but a birthday party for a close friend or family member should include me. I also haven't met this cousin since she lives far away, so it would've been nice to have the bonding time and feel

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  • 3 Ways to Not Get Ripped Off by Repair Guys

    By Melanie Abrahams, REDBOOK

    No offense, repair guys, but we don't always trust your fuzzy math. So we asked three Ms. Fix-Its how a sister can avoid getting suckered.

    THE #1 CAR-REPAIR RIP-OFF: engine work.
    The Better Business Bureau (BBB) says that auto shops - one of the 10 most complained-about industries last year - routinely charge customers for replacing engine parts they never even touched!

    BEAT THE SWINDLE: Tell your mechanic that you want to see any parts they remove and replace. "That way, they have to come clean about exactly what they did under your hood," says Bogi Lateiner, owner of 180 Degrees Automotive in Phoenix. And visit repairpal.com, where you can find the reasonable price range for many common fixes at shops in your city.

    THE #1 PLUMBING RIP-OFF: leaky pipes or faucets.
    Many plumbers will stick you with a higher bill claiming that the original estimate was for "labor only" and didn't include travel and parts.

    BEAT THE SWINDLE: Ask

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  • 8 Perfect Holiday Dresses for Any Occasion

    By Julia Malacoff, REDBOOK

    From office parties to Christmas to New Year's Eve, we have a chic, budget-friendly dress for every holiday occasion. What to wear to that festive office party? How to dress for Thanksgiving? We have it covered.

    1. Sparkly Dress

    This sparkly, slinky dress looks like it was made for a New Years Eve party.

    Jones New York, $179; Jones New York Women's Swirl Sequin Sheath, amazon.com.

    2. One-Shoulder Dress

    A one-shoulder dress is a great way to show a little skin over the holidays without revealing too much.

    BCBGeneration, $108; One Shoulder Dress by BCBGeneration, piperlime.com.

    3. Sheath Dress

    The sheath dress is a classic shape that will never go out of style. If you're looking to splurge on a party dress to last you through New Years, this style is your best bet.

    French Connection, $168; Angela Lace Dress, frenchconnection.com.

    4. Fit N' Flare Dress

    The fit n' flare is one of the most universally

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  • Settle an Argument: How Should This Married Couple Resolve Driving Drama?

    By Perri O. Blumberg, REDBOOK

    Michael, 28, and Alison, 32, have been married for two years and are planning to visit Michael's family in Indiana for Thanksgiving. It's a four-hour car trip from their home in Kentucky and usually they split the driving time, but Michael has a habit of calling Alison out on every move she makes on the road. That's why she's asked him to drive the whole way this year. Michael, however, thinks it's only fair that they each drive halfway so he can get a break. Who's right?

    Related: 17 5-Minute Marriage Makeovers

    She says:"Michael and I always wind up getting into these huge (and hugely dumb!) fights whenever we go on road trips together because he doesn't like my driving style. Instead of having the pointless arguments, I think he should just do the driving this year. It'll avoid unnecessary drama and make the trip a lot more enjoyable."

    He says: "I know I get frustrated when Alison drives, but I don't think I should be the one at the

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