Blog Posts by Redbook

  • Dear Whys Guy: "Why Does He Prefer Porn Over Me?"

    By Aaron Traister, REDBOOK

    DEAR WHYS GUY:
    "I have been with my husband for 22 years. Lately I've noticed that he would much rather watch porn on his phone than have sex with me. Please tell me: Does he watch it so that he can fantasize about being with someone else?"

    Related: Vote for REDBOOK's Hottest Husband in America

    DEAR REDBOOK READER:

    There is a very sad little space reserved at the bottom wrung of the porn addict ladder for guys who are addicted to porn on their phones. At least he could watch the porn on the computer-because he's going to ruin his eyes watching it on his phone. Anyway, I can't tell you why he's watching the tiny phone porn, and frankly, it doesn't much matter; it matters that he's choosing it over actual physical encounters with you. Porn should be a tool of last resort for guys, or used as an enhancement for some couples. It is not a good sign when it is the first choice for a guy. All signs suggest that your sex life is in some

    Read More »from Dear Whys Guy: "Why Does He Prefer Porn Over Me?"
  • It's Complicated: My Fiance Embarrasses Me

    By Karen Karbo, REDBOOK

    Q: My fiancé and I have a 6-month-old son and are expecting again. We have a good relationship, but he doesn't have any manners! He thinks passing gas and belching is funny. He invites himself to things, constantly borrows my car and returns it without gas, and doesn't think twice about eating the last piece of whatever. I don't want my kids to grow up thinking his behavior is okay. How can I get him to change? -M.H., 24, Pennsylvania

    Related: Vote for REDBOOK's Hottest Husband in America

    A:: I'm assuming you've already tried the obvious: telling him you don't like these habits and asking him to shape up. So it sounds like it's time to call in the big guns and involve your kids. Share your feelings with him about the importance of raising them to have manners. We all want to be good role models for our children. And when it comes to your car, don't give him the keys until he promises to return it with at least the amount of gas he used. Perhaps

    Read More »from It's Complicated: My Fiance Embarrasses Me
  • Can Your Toddler Make An Emergency Call?

    By Charlotte Hilton Andersen, REDBOOK

    Toddler Lia Vegaz is an extraordinary child. Sure, she saved her mom's life when Larissa Taylor fell into a diabetic coma while the two were home alone (every mom's worst nightmare, by the way). But what really surprised me was that the 2-year-old even knew how to make an outgoing call on a cell phone. I'm not just talking about appropriate phone manners. Many of today's children don't know how to use the phone call part of a telephone at all. Texting? Yep. Games? Absolutely. But calling emergency services? Not so easy.

    Related: Vote for REDBOOK's Hottest Husband in America

    The first obstacle is the technical acuity required. When I was growing up, making a call was pretty simple because all phones were basically the same. But now with all the slide-to-unlock bars, passwords, and random finger waving incantations required to open a touch-screen phone, I'm amazed that anyone, much less a toddler, can figure it out. And then, there's

    Read More »from Can Your Toddler Make An Emergency Call?
  • Dear Whys Guy: "Why Does He Prefer Phone Videos Over Me?"

    By Aaron Traister, REDBOOK

    DEAR WHYS GUY:
    "I have been with my husband for 22 years. Lately I've noticed that he would much rather watch porn on his phone than have sex with me. Please tell me: Does he watch it so that he can fantasize about being with someone else?"

    Related: Vote for REDBOOK's Hottest Husband in America

    DEAR REDBOOK READER:

    There is a very sad little space reserved at the bottom wrung of the porn addict ladder for guys who are addicted to porn on their phones. At least he could watch the porn on the computer-because he's going to ruin his eyes watching it on his phone. Anyway, I can't tell you why he's watching the tiny phone porn, and frankly, it doesn't much matter; it matters that he's choosing it over actual physical encounters with you. Porn should be a tool of last resort for guys, or used as an enhancement for some couples. It is not a good sign when it is the first choice for a guy. All signs suggest that your sex life is in some

    Read More »from Dear Whys Guy: "Why Does He Prefer Phone Videos Over Me?"
  • It's Complicated: My Cheating Ex Wants Me Back

    By Karen Karbo, REDBOOK

    Q: I had been in a relationship for a year when I found out that the guy was cheating on me with a married coworker. We broke up, but a month later he called me and said he wants me back in his life. I love him, but I'm worried because he still works with the woman. How can I trust him again? -J.A., 39, Washington

    Related: REDBOOK Wants to Know: Which Trends Do Guys Actually Like?

    A: I know you love him, but the guy has shown himself to be untrustworthy. He could have changed, sure, but until he leaves his current job, he's going to see that coworker every day. And you're going to have to believe him when he says nothing's going on. Can you really do that? More importantly, do you want to put yourself through that stress? I wish I could say this in a nicer way, but my gut tells me this ship has sailed. You deserve someone who's faithful and respects you right from the get-go.

    Advice guru Karen Karbo is a mom, a teacher, and the author of the new Read More »from It's Complicated: My Cheating Ex Wants Me Back
  • Settle An Argument: Is 35 Too Old For Costume Parties?

    By Perri O. Blumberg, REDBOOK

    Hallie, 29 and Paul, 35 have been engaged for six months and dating for five years. There's a big annual costume party at a bar coming up that Hallie would love to attend. Hallie loves dressing up, but Paul thinks they are getting too old for that kind of thing and wants to skip the party (and the $40 entrance fee to the bar). Paul says he'd rather just go to dinner or do something else together that night. Hallie really wants Paul to get into the spirit and dress up with her. Who's right?

    Related: 17 5-Minute Marriage Makeovers

    She says: "At our age, it's not often we get dressed up and I think it'd be fun to come up with cute couples costumes and go to this party together. I don't see why Paul can't suck it up for me for one night. It'd be a good way for us to bond as a couple. I'd even let him pick our costume!"

    He says: "I want to make Hallie happy, but I just feel uncomfortable dressing up in some silly outfit and parading around

    Read More »from Settle An Argument: Is 35 Too Old For Costume Parties?
  • By Charlotte Hilton Andersen, REDBOOK
    Congratulations, it's Halloween! You've successfully run the gauntlet of compromising with your child on their costume, deciding whether to make or buy your kid's costume, buying candy or health snacks for the big night, and eleventy million class parties that you may or may not have signed up to volunteer at on Back-To-School Night in hopes that would make the teacher like your kid better! (It's been two months since I saw those sign up sheets. I can't even remember if I put on mascara this morning.) Time to sit back, put your feet up and help yourself to a Butterfinger or two, right? Not yet, you've got one last Mom hurdle to jump: what to do with all that loot.
    Related: Vote for REDBOOK's Hottest Husband in America

    While others have suggested "buying" the candy off your kid with a new toy or selling his or her candy to a dentist - a buck a pound is a good deal! - or donating it to troops overseas or to a food bank, if your kids are anything

    Read More »from The Great Mom Debate: Will You Let Your Kids Gorge on Halloween Candy? Why Dentists Say You Should
  • By Aaron Traister, REDBOOK

    DEAR WHYS GUY:
    "I live in a large apartment complex, and I'm friendly toward all my neighbors. In the past six months, three gentleman on my floor have separately asked me out on a date. I have politely declined because I don't want to date men in my building-things could become awkward, and I don't want to deal with that. Now when all three of these guys see me, they don't talk to me, and sometimes they mutter rude comments under their breath. And no, I don't think they know each other.

    "My question is: Should I start being meaner? Just because I'm nice to a man, does that automatically mean he thinks I want to date him?"

    Related: REDBOOK Wants to Know: Which Trends Do Guys Actually Like?

    DEAR REDBOOK READER:

    I'm not sure if this is a guy thing or more of a crappy neighbors thing. Muttering rude stuff under your breath simply because you got turned down for a date is the mark of a burgeoning psychopath. Most normal guys get

    Read More »from Dear Whys Guy: “Why Do Men Think My Politeness Means I’m Interested in Them?”
  • It's Complicated: My Sister's Husband Hit on Me

    By Karen Karbo, REDBOOK

    Q: My brother-in-law recently told me he loves me and that he wishes he'd met me first! After talking it over with my husband and parents, I decided to tell my sister. Her husband denied it, and she believed him; now she's cut me out of her life. We both have kids who won't grow up together as cousins should. What can I do? Should I never have told her? -Anonymous

    Related: REDBOOK Wants to Know: Which Trends Do Guys Actually Like?

    A: Whoa! This is a tough one. There are two ways to go in this situation: Say nothing, pretend it never happened, and suffer in silence (not easy by any stretch); or do what you did-seek support from your family and come clean to your sister. Some secrets are just too corrosive to keep. But I'm not surprised by her reaction: Her gut instinct is to keep her marriage intact, and the only way she can do that is to believe her husband. Now, all you can do is focus on mending your relationship with her for the sake of your

    Read More »from It's Complicated: My Sister's Husband Hit on Me
  • 3 Tricks to Beat Holiday Debt Now

    By Beth Kobliner, REDBOOK

    A friend recently confessed to me that she's still paying off last year's holiday gift-buying bills! Start saving today so you don't ring in the New Year with a Visa hangover.

    1. Budget and don't budge. Figure out exactly how much you can afford to drop on presents without jeopardizing your regular bills. Then, siphon off a little money from each paycheck for the next six weeks so you aren't dipping into your emergency savings or relying on credit to play Secret Santa. Consider stashing the cash in a savings account (watch out for fees!) so you aren't tempted to blow it.

    Related: Vote for REDBOOK's Hottest Husband in America

    2. Skip Black Friday. The day after Thanksgiving is the gateway to holiday spending sprees. Though you may find some deals, retailers have a dirty little secret: "For a limited time only" or "While supplies last" promotions are classic ways to trick you into buying things you don't need by making you think they're about to sell

    Read More »from 3 Tricks to Beat Holiday Debt Now

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