Blog Posts by Redbook

  • Dear Whys Guy: "Why Do Guys Point Out Hot Women?"

    by Aaron Traister, REDBOOK

    DEAR WHYS GUY:

    My fiancé always points out women on TV he thinks are "hot." It really bothers me. Why does he do this? Why not point out how hot I am?

    -Jamie, PA

    Related: How to Have a Better Relationship

    DEAR JAMIE:

    Karel is sitting next to me as I read your letter and telling me I have no business answering it, because I do the exact same thing. At least let me explain why: I feel weird and guilty when I check out other women, especially because I'm so obviously distracted.
    So I'm totally honest with her about it in the hope that my honesty will score me some brownie points-which it doesn't.

    Related: Get-Close Secrets for You and Your Guy

    My advice? Tell your fiance how much it bothers you. If he's slow on the uptake (like me), force him to watch Twilight movies with you and give him a taste of his own medicine.

    Related: Dear Whys Guy: "Do Guys Believe in Finding One True Love?"

    >


    Need help decoding odd male behavior? Redbook columnist Aaron

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  • Dear Whys Guy: "Why Don't Guys Give Compliments Without Urging?"

    by Aaron Traister, REDBOOK

    DEAR WHYS GUY:

    Why don't guys give compliments without urging?

    -Michele B., Warsaw, IN

    Related: How to Have a Better Relationship

    DEAR MICHELE:

    I think guys give compliments much more freely than women do. Which of the following sounds more familiar to you? "Honey, you look beautiful in that dress, and I really like what you've done with your hair." Or, "Hey dude, your bald head looks really great today." Go ahead, close your eyes and say it.

    Related: Get-Close Secrets for You and Your Guy

    Guys can be conditioned to be complimentary, even if it sometimes takes a little work on your part. On the other hand, I think the nicest thing Karel has said to me in the last month is, "You remembered to get trash bags! Good."

    Related: Dear Whys Guy: "Do Guys Believe in Finding One True Love?"

    I don't even think that counts as a compliment. The point is, we may need prompting sometimes, and we may not notice your new haircut until you tell us about it, but at

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  • It's Complicated Advice Q&A: Is My Marriage Beyond Repair?


    I've been married for 18 years, and my connection to my husband has slowly dwindled down to nothing. I'd always been hopeful that things could get better, but after several years of church marriage counseling, then professional counseling, and reading every recommended marriage book out there, I've pretty much lost all hope. My husband is hardworking and responsible, but I don't love this man. He is controlling and verbally abusive. We have three kids under the age of 11, and as a father he's energetic and fun but uninvolved in any of the necessary tasks of taking care of them. We have nothing in common and no shared interests anymore. Is this marriage beyond repair?
    - D.S., 43, New York City


    No one should stay married to someone who abuses her for any reason. Ever. Kids or no kids. Putting up with abuse from a partner teaches your children that it's an acceptable way to conduct an intimate relationship. Is that what you want for them?

    Related: 7 Things He's Not Telling You

    That

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  • 4 Genius Ways to Cook with One of the World's Healthiest Foods

    by Jessica Smith, REDBOOK

    You may think of oatmeal as a hearty, warm healthy breakfast option, but did you know exactly why it's so good for you?

    1. It helps lower cholesterol. "Oatmeal contains heart-healthy fiber - and is known for its cholesterol-lowering properties. It's soluble fiber helps to lower LDL (bad) cholesterol, and it's insoluble fiber promotes regularity and a healthier colon," explains Registered Dietitian Lauren O'Connor.

    Related: 12 Delicious Low-Carb Meals

    2. It aids in weight loss.
    Not only does oatmeal's fiber help you feel full (which may aid in weight loss), it also can help slow the digestion of carbohydrate foods, stabilizing blood sugars and enhancing your satiety, says O'Connor.

    Related: The 10 Hottest Health Trends

    3. It's a great disease fighter. Oats are also a good source of B vitamins, contain the antioxidant vitamin E, and provide calcium, iron and zinc. Oatmeal also contains magnesium (which may help decrease the risk of Type 2 diabetes) and selenium

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  • Eating Tissues and 4 Other Extreme Hollywood Weight-Loss Methods

    by Jessica Smith, REDBOOK

    Janet Jackson told CNN's Piers Morgan in an interview that she's heard of celebs eating tissues in order to lose weight. Sadly, drastic weight loss measures is nothing new to Hollywood, but with the help of their endorsement, more and more women are trying some truly unhealthy ways to drop pounds.

    Related: 12 Delicious Low-Carb Meals

    Here are some 5 crazy (but true) and terrible fad diets out there (and what you should do instead):

    1) Ingesting a tapeworm. It's still astounding that people would even try this to lose weight, but it happens - and more often than you'd think. The idea behind this wacko concept is that the tapeworm absorbs excess calories, causing the host to peel off pounds quickly. And while a tapeworm can induce weight loss, it also can also cause malnutrition, hair loss, seizures, neurological damage, muscle weakness, abdominal discomfort and diarrhea. Not to mention, you'd have to swallow a live worm. All that to lose a few pounds? Um, no

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  • Dear Whys Guy: "Does My Ex Want Me Back?"

    by Aaron Traister, REDBOOK

    DEAR WHYS GUY:

    What does it mean when your ex (we've been broken up for a year) calls and tell you you're his favorite person in the world?
    - Caroline


    Related: Dear Whys Guy: "Do Guys Believe in Finding One True Love?"

    DEAR CAROLINE:

    When your ex calls you after a year to tell you that you are his "favorite person in the world," it means he's had time to reevaluate some of his choices. It means he's had loooong hours to take a personal inventory and discover what's precious to him. It means he's grown, not just as a man, but as a human being.

    Related: How to Have a Better Relationship

    No, wait, scratch that. It means he isn't getting any and is totally regretting breaking up with you because the bachelor life he imagined while he was "stuck" in a relationship, full of bikini model pillow fights and all you can eat barbecue and swingers parties, didn't actually turn out to be filled with swingers, pillow fights, or bikinis. At least there's been a lot of

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  • It's Complicated Advice Q&A: My Husband's Money Habits Make Me Resent Him


    I have three children from a previous marriage, and I'm now remarried and my husband and I have a baby together. I receive plenty of child support, so I haven't needed to get a job. My husband doesn't earn a lot of money. He pays the mortgage; I pay the bills and support my girls, but I expect him to help with my expenses and our son's. He's pretty good about what our son needs, but he doesn't help me out with money unless I ask for it. I know he needs to save for our future, but I don't feel like a married couple because we don't share most of our expenses and income. It's making me resentful toward him. Should I feel this way?
    - B.T., 36, Permian Basin, TX



    When it comes to feelings, there's no "should"; you feel how you feel. That said, continuing on in a situation in which you feel resentment is never good. Clearly, the current financial arrangement doesn't work for you, so you need to hammer out a plan with your husband that feels more equitable.

    Related: 7 Things He's Not Read More »from It's Complicated Advice Q&A: My Husband's Money Habits Make Me Resent Him
  • 7 Things Never to Say to a Pregnant Woman

    You're big. You're hormonal. And after childbirth, your hoo-hah may never be the same. So why do people aim the nastiest comments at pregnant women? Blogger Eden Kennedy of fussy.org got her loyal Twitter followers to spill the most cringe-worthy things moms-to-be have heard.

    1. "I hope you're not one of theose women who uses pregnancy as an excuse to get really, really fat."

    Related: The Best Mom Moments of All-Time

    2. "Giving birth was awful--the most traumatic experience of my life. You'll hate it too."

    Related: 7 Things He's Not Telling You

    3. "Whoa! Have you got two of them in there?"

    Related: Easy Ways to Feel Closer to Your Partner

    4. "Women having girls are beautiful and radiant. I can tell you are having a boy."

    Related: 7 Secrets of Low-Stress Families

    5. "Why are you being such a b---- about cold cuts?" [And this was during a listeriosis scare!]

    Related: How to Fix Any Intimacy Issue in Marriage

    6. "If you put on a track suit and some gold chains, you'd look like one

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  • It's Complicated Advice Q&A: Is This Guy Worth My Time?


    I am a divorced single mother of three. I have been dating a man for a year and a half now who is eight years younger than I am, has never been married, and has no children. The first six months were great, but then suddenly I was the one always making the 70-mile drive to see him. He tells me he loves me, but when I start talking about our future, he closes up and says he doesn't know what he wants. He's also made it clear that he won't move to where I live so we can be together, and I don't want to move to where he's living until my oldest child is finished with high school. Am I fighting a losing battle? Or do you think it's worse to throw away the last year and a half?

    --G.S., 36, Norfolk, NE


    It sounds as if your guy is being honest with you: He loves you, but he really doesn't know what he wants. That's fair. Committing to another person is terrifying under the best of circumstances and, for better or for worse, you come with a ready-made family--serious stuff. I think it speaks

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  • 3 Things Men Love the Most About Women

    by Aaron Traister, REDBOOK

    A pastor, a U.S. Marshal, a rabbi, a lawyer, and a guy who writes a column for a women's magazine all found themselves in the same Irish bar. Is this the beginning of the worst joke ever told? Perhaps, but it's also a totally true tale of masculine diversity uniting and bridging political, cultural, religious, and philosophical differences in an unprecedented attempt to answer the burning question on every woman's mind: What do men love so much about women? You guys may think we dig you because you have a great sense of humor, look hot, or can make a mean macaroni salad - and those are certainly lovable qualities. But they aren't really what we love most about you. Several hours of discussion, many beers, and more than a few plates of chicken wings later, I was able to compile my list. (Then we all hugged. It was kinda weird.)

    Related: Have the Hottest Sex of Your Life…with Your Husband

    Anyway, without further ado - or further awkward stories about men

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