Here are some of the stereotypes that guys have about women:
Women are crazy.
I tried for a long time to make sense out of their actions and statements. Once I accepted that women were "crazy" (many older guys had insisted they were for years), it seemed to take a huge load of pressure off me. No longer was I trying to rationalize moves that women made that got me into crazy analysis cycles. When I just throw it all out the window and dismiss it as "crazy," it makes it easier to deal. We don't really think women are insane, we just say it so we can be done thinking about their antics and move on.
PMS makes women angry.
One time when I was working at a café over the summer in college with a guy and a girl who were friends of mine, the girl was clearly cranky early one morning while she cut bread. My friend and I, always eager to annoy her, swooped in. Eventually my buddy said what every guy has said at some point in his life:
"Uh oh, Rich, must be that time of the month."
Blog Posts by Rich Santos, Marie Claire
Here are some of the stereotypes that guys have about women:Read More »from 6 Stereotypes Men Have About Women
The first time my friend ever said "I love you" to his girlfriend, he blurted it out during sex. Most guys have it right, though; either they don't think, or they think simply: "Yeah, getting laid is AWESOME." Aside from hoping she enjoys it and wondering she's evaluating my performance, my mind dredges up the following strange things during sex:
How Did I Get Here?
I build a mental bread crumb trail up to the moment of triumph: What did I say/do over the last 24 hours? If I could find common steps between all the times I got laid, I'd have a reliable system.
What if I Miss?
I've wondered, mid-thrust: What if I miss and hit a pelvic bone? I'd sustain major injury to myself and, depending on how hard I thrusted, I might even hurt her!
Ecstasy on the Bottom, Agony on the TopRead More »from 14 Things Men Think About During Sex
- Rich Santos, Marie Claire | Love + Sex – Tue, Jul 26, 2011 4:33 PM EDT
My friends, family, and co-workers say I should be more goal-oriented. It is true: I'm a bundle of unorganized energy without much direction.
Actually, my goals are both vague and simple. I live life to fall in love, have fun, and laugh. However, I can't translate these lighthearted goals to sex.
For me, sex is not fun for many reasons. One reason is I pressure myself to bring a woman to orgasm. If I don't bring a woman to orgasm, I feel like I've failed her...especially if we are in a serious relationship and I continuously fail to bring her to orgasm. Striking out on a one-night stand is one thing, but when I'm consistently failing the same girl I care about, it's a major disappointment.
There are a few beliefs about orgasms that make it a pressure cooker:
An Orgasm Is Necessary for Good Sex
Anything less might be fun, but still a failure. How is it fair that a guy gets to have orgasms all the time so easily while women don't have them as often? In my world I'mRead More »from Is It Still "Good Sex" if You Don't Have an Orgasm?
They say the "devil is in the details," but the other night, my friend and I were scanning the bar and noticing minor things about women. After reflecting on our observations, I put together four small things that guys notice that they don't often point out to women. Here they are:
I study a girl's hands pretty intensely. Beautiful hands can portray daintiness and strength at the same time. I notice manicures, and complexion. I imagine what it's like to hold them. I'm not much of a hand-holder, but pretty hands will turn me into one. I even watch how a girl grips things. There are definitely different objects and shapes that look amazing in a girl's hands, such as a wineglass. A wineglass has delicate curves that play off a woman's hands. When I notice fingers that are appealing to me, I imagine how those fingertips would feel.
I've mentioned hair before, so I wouldn't say it's a "little thing." But hair can do simple things that can evoke powerfulRead More »from 4 Little Things I Notice About Women
I thought I would outgrow enjoying the thrill of the chase, but I can't get over it.
Most guys go out there with the goal of getting laid.
Lately, all it takes for me to feel total accomplishment is having a girl call me "cute" or "funny." At that point, I can leave the bar, stop by the diner for late-night-eats, and lie down alone knowing that someone out there found me attractive.
I'm sure a lot of you get frustrated that guys seem to lose their passion when they have finally started dating you. Here are some reasons guys love the thrill of the chase:
At first glance, chasing does not seem like a lazy activity. But it is. When I'm chasing a girl there is no pressure to succeed. So, when a girl calls me "cute," I can assume my chase is over and I can call it quits. It's lazy to participate in chasing girls, but it's hard to be lazy when you actually date and get into a serious relationship.
The Fantasy Ideal
When I chase a girl, I do so withoutRead More »from Why Do Guys Love the "Thrill of the Chase"?
I have complained that women rarely enlighten me. I usually meet female versions of "frat boys" or "meatheads." So, what makes someone interesting enough to enlighten men - and thereby turn them on?Read More »from 6 Unexpected Ways to Turn Him On
You've got a head start if you think differently. I'm tired of hearing the same old thing, meeting women who seem to follow the masses and can't think on their own. Instead, I want to experience how your mind works. I want that amazing mental buzz (similar to the one I get when I laugh with someone) every time we talk - that's the type of thing that keeps me intrigued and attracted to you 'til death do us part.
Here are a few unexpected ways women can enlighten the opposite sex:
1. She Appreciates "Nontraditional" Beauty
I love feedback - the squealing sound produced by guitars held close to amps. Feedback sounds like a rusty door, a dying cat, or a pack of whales crying in the ocean. When I share the ultimate feedback song, Smashing Pumpkins' "Drown," with a girl, she usually refers to
I'm coy after a first date because:
I don't want to look too eager/desperate. I won't ignore my attraction, but I'll at least try to temper it.
I want to look like I have a life. Even though I don't have a life, I might try to look a little aloof.
I'm not sure if you like me. It's scary to take the dive and show I'm interested when I'm not sure if the girl is interested.
Despite attempts to look calm, cool, and collected, there are a number a things I'll do around an initial date that clue you in that I'm interested. Here are a few:
Completing the Date
It may not indicate that you're the apple of my eye, but it does indicate that you're not a total disaster. Most people are courteous enough to do the absolute minimum on a date: finish whatever activity you're doing together and devote sufficient time out of respect for the other person. But someRead More »from 8 Signs He's Totally Into You
- Rich Santos, Marie Claire | Love + Sex – Tue, Jul 19, 2011 4:51 PM EDT
Over the weekend my friend Lauren shared a few frustrating stories about guys. She told me about a guy who, three dates into their courtship, began pressuring her to have sex with him.
Whenever she declined his offer, his counterargument was:
"Come on, it's not the 1950s anymore."
She was quite exasperated and told me she couldn't figure out guys these days. Neither could I. I have no idea how a guy thinks that a statement like that is acceptable, respectful, or productive.
Four factors that make a guy act this way:
Upbringing. Some guys weren't raised to respect women. They didn't grow up with sisters, or many friends of the opposite gender, and their household (for whatever reason) did not prepare them to have a gentle and selfless approach toward women.
Friends. My friends and I universally don't get laid. Coincidentally, we also don't pressure for sex. For some reason, we all revel in the fact that we fail the majority of time with women, take it with aRead More »from How Many Dates Do You Go on Before You Consider Sex?
Aside from the responsibility aspect, long-term relationships intimidate a lot of men. Personally, I'm not sure if I'm ready for a long term relationship and to give a woman what she desires and deserves.
Relationships evolve, and the evolution of a long-term relationship presents challenges.
Here is a list of things that happen in long-term relationships:
You Get Used To Each Other
Getting used to each other is a good thing overall. You learn how to push each other's buttons appropriately, when to ease up, how to make each other happy. It's the same thing in friendship when you grow from compatible acquaintance to good friend.
It's that right of passage where you're no longer a drinking buddy, but you're expected and allowed to be there for each other at all times.
Once you're used to one another, you've come to grips with each other's annoying quirks. You devise strategies to keep annoyances from being deal breakers, like preparing for mosquitoes at theRead More »from 11 Reasons Why He's Scared to Commit
Why don't people refrain from repeating bad actions that have actually caused them harm in the past? Jennifer Aniston lost Brad Pitt to Angelina Jolie, but she's now seeing actor Justin Theroux - who the tabloids speculate she started dating while he was still with his live-in girlfriend Heidi Bivens.
I'm not one to follow celebrity gossip (I swear), but I was intrigued by Dr. Jane Greer's analysis of the Aniston situation in her Huffington Post article, Jennifer Aniston: Is She The Other Woman or the New Woman? And I do agree with some of Greer's points.
Dr. Greer mentions that couples work to keep a relationship alive in the face of "the never-ending fight." Often, one person in a union gives up when they feel there is no solution. In fact, many relationships continue despite one person's emotional detachment. The fights stop because someone has given up, but the other person in the relationship perceives this as healing. The couple stays together because they fear thatRead More »from Can A Love Triangle Be Healthy?