Blog Posts by The Frisky

  • Who Keeps The Ring When An Engagement Is Broken?


    It never fails to amaze me that every time I write a post about broken engagements, many commenters are most interested in discussing what the proper etiquette is when it comes to keeping or giving back the engagement ring. [You know where I stand and, as expected, some of you disagreed. In general I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all approach and you should definitely do what feels right for you and your former fiance. However, the "experts" do have strong opinions on the matter. This "Debate This" ran in March 2008 (before I got un-engaged, FYI), but I believe it covers two popular views on the issue.-Editor]

    Engagements are all congratulatory wishes and bridal showers until they end without a wedding. Along with the usual breakup activities-"dividing of things," "starting over of lives"-there's the even more awkward "deciding of who gets to keep the 10-karat (or 1-karat) ring." According to a Conde Nast Bridal Media study, the average engagement ring cost is $4,435, so

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  • How To Properly End An Engagement: Advice For The Dumper AND The Dumpee

    iStockPhotoiStockPhotoAs many Frisky reader's know, I was a fiancée who got dumped. On the 1-10 Suck Scale, it registered at around 27, due in no small part to the fact that I was caught by surprise, it was handled rather insensitively, and I wasn't given the whole story-or a full explanation-right away. With that being said, people often dump their fiancés/fiancées for perfectly good reasons and just because they're the ones doing the dumping, doesn't make them evil, horrible people who should have their balls cut off. Let's face it: how to properly end an engagement is not something we teach in school, unless you are getting private tutoring from Jennifer Love Hewitt (she's been engaged, like, three times). Luckily I've learned a few things about it, after being on the short end of the stick. This should come in handy when I dump Sam Worthington for my true love, Ryan Gosling.

    1. Screw The Element Of Surprise: Dumping your fiancé should not be approached with the same stealth maneuvering as planning a

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    One of the biggest time sucks on the internet for me, besides reading "Lost" theories and playing online Scrabble, is reading dating columnist and "lifecaster" Julia Allison's blog, as well as the blog that mocks her mercilessly, Reblogging NonSociety. I have no excuse; I just find the whole thing entertaining and hilarious, and it's not like I've managed to quit reality TV or my bronzer addiction either. Anyway, this past weekend Julia celebrated her 29th year on Earth by having her second annual Bicoastal Birthday Bash, in which she and a friend celebrate their birthdays to the XXXTREME on both coasts. (You know who isn't celebrating? Mother Earth! Nice carbon footprint, right?) We're talking cupcakes, costumes, balloons, presents, brunches, dinners, and lots, and lots, and lots of photos. In short, I am pretty sure Julia celebrated her 29th birthday with more self-obsessed gusto than all my birthdays combined. Which got me thinking-aren't there some things you are just too old

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  • Cut Out “Fake-lationships” to Make Room For Something Real

    iStockPhotoiStockPhotoSome women are forever attracted to jerks. Others are great at building healthy relationships with good guys. Still others are addicted to unrequited love. Everyone has a pattern. Me-I find myself, on repeat, forging relationships with men who don't think we're actually dating. In other words, I'm an expert at the "fakelationship."

    So what exactly is a fakelationship, you ask? If you've ever been in one, you know it. It's a "friendship" where you text, email, talk on the phone, and hang out pretty much constantly. Where if 48 hours goes by without some kind of contact, you feel like something big is missing from your day. In some fakelationships, you hook up while maintaining that you're "just friends." In others, it feels purely platonic, though the level of emotional dependence is way stronger than a typical friendship. Think "When Harry Met Sally," before the titular characters realize they're actually in love.

    The Frisky: I'm Glad My Husband Cheated

    Like most real

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  • Guys, Please DON'T Wine And Dine Me - Dating Shouldn't Be Expensive

    iStockPhotoiStockPhotoI was sitting at brunch last weekend eating greasy eggs with one of my guy friends. "So, how's the love life?" I asked.

    "Eh," Tom replied shrugging his shoulders.

    "What? You're not hunting and fishing?" I asked, doing my best Patti Stanger impression.

    "Nah, it's not that," he said. "It's just that dating is so … so expensive." Expensive? That's a new one. And sadly I've been hearing a lot of guys say it lately. What's up with that? It shouldn't be too expensive to date.

    The Frisky: I'm Glad My Husband Cheated

    On the list of reasons why dating is a complicated endeavor-fear, past hurts, insecurities, incompatibility, awkwardness-I think "checking account balance" shouldn't be at the bottom of the list. As I questioned my guy friends further, I discovered underneath this "it's too expensive to date" attitude is an issue of confidence and the pressure that guys put on themselves to be able to provide. As one of my guy friends Mike put it: "Confidence is important.

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    Matchmaker and dating coach Rachel Greenwald is responsible for 750 marriages, and she doesn't believe you will find the love of your life by waiting for him/her to spontaneously appear in line at the grocery store or sit next to you on the subway. Darn. There goes my approach. This Harvard M.B.A. and New York Times best-selling author advocates a better way-being proactive and approaching your dating life like a job search. "Sure, there has to be an intersection of luck, timing, and opportunity, to find love," she says, "But you increase your odds when you do something about it. If you have a strategic organized plan, something will come through faster." So, uh, what should this plan be? Her new book-Have Him at Hello: Confessions from 1,000 Guys About What Makes Them Fall in Love … Or Never Call Back-hits bookstores today and has some ingenious ideas for us. I had the opportunity to chat with Rachel and get a singles state of the union. After the jump, eight interesting tips I

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  • 10 Biggest Dating Mistakes People Make On Facebook

    iStockPhotoiStockPhotoFacebook abuse is rampant! We all know at least one person whose status updates never cease to annoy or bewilder. Or how about that chick who is constantly inviting you to engage in a mafia war? And seriously, I am thisclose to defriending a friend from junior high who insists on tagging photos of me in braces. But Facebook abusers aren't just hurting the innocent-they're also seriously ruining their own dating game. Check out the 10 biggest dating mistakes people make on Facebook.

    The Frisky: The 5 Most Annoying Facebook Couples

    1. Your Relationship Status Is Giving Me Whiplash: There's nothing more exciting and dramatic than an off-and-on relationship. You fall madly in love-update status to "in a relationship." You get in a big fight!-update status to "it's complicated." You have awesome makeup sex-back to "in a relationship." But then you break up in the morning-suddenly "single." But then he sends you roses two months later and begs for you back! Guess who's "in a

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  • 4 Signs You’re Not Girlfriend Material

    I make no apologies for having dated a vast collection of maniacs, freaks, weirdos and losers. Sometimes-OK, often-I'm embarrassed when one of these ghosts from The Dark Years pops up, but mostly I look at my romantic history as a protracted, occasionally painful, thankfully non-contagious, learning experience.

    It's easy (for me, anyway) to look back and blame the men I was dating for making me miserable and/or breaking my heart, but the reality is, I'm the one who chose to go there. A good friend once told me that I had a gift of seeing the good hiding inside a person whereas everyone else saw the freakazoid they were on the outside. She meant it as a compliment, but the fact is, even the biggest a**hole on the planet has some little chunk of good floating around inside them. It's not such a positive trait that I was blind to the crap for the tiny diamond inside.

    The Frisky: (Almost) Dealbreaker: My Boyfriend Can't Dance

    There are many reasons I dated badly, and

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  • Cheap and Chic: 10 DIY Wall Decorations (One For $5!)

    We all need some in-home sprucing-up before spring, and the easiest way to update a pad is with wall decor. Fine art will cost you more than a pretty penny, and we sure as hell aren't the best painters. So what's a dame to do when she wants to enhance her walls without breaking the bank? Here are a few DIY tips for creating your own custom wall decor on the cheap!

    Have $5 and 15 minutes? Then, one way to keep your walls looking simple and chic is to wrap a plain ol' canvas with tape -- criss-crossing the lines for added depth. Then, pick any color paint you want and slather the canvas in it. Once the panel is dry, remove the tape and revel in your mod masterpiece.

    2. Mirrors make a room look bigger, and when you mount one as a mosaic, one shiny pice of glass becomes a room-widening work of art. Buy a quadrilateral mirror without any side decorations, or one that only has a flat, square surface around it. Pick up small mosaic tiles, like these from Cool Tiles , and use cement glue

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  • 8 Ways To Look Rested (Despite Bad Sleep Habits)

    iStockphotoiStockphotoBetween late party nights and deadlines at work, it's sometimes impossible to fit in the recommended eight hours of sleep per night needed to keep those under eye bags stowed. Here are eight ways to fake a refreshed and well-rested look even if you can't remember the last time you snoozed soundly.

    1. Use a light simulator when you wake up to trick your mind into starting off the day.

    2. Stretch. One great stretch equals the same amount of rest as a 10-minute nap, and takes a fraction of the time.

    3. Choose your shower lotions based on invigorating ingredients: peppermint, citrus oils, and lemongrass will wake up your senses.

    4. Meditate while under the shower head and visualize the day.

    Hide under eye bags with concealer and firm your face with a gentle toner or mask to relieve the night's puffiness to give the appearance of a well-rested individual.

    6. Use black or navy mascara to make your eyes look bigger and purple shadow to brighten your eyes.

    7. Embrace coffee butRead More »from 8 Ways To Look Rested (Despite Bad Sleep Habits)


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