Blog Posts by The Frisky

  • Have You Ever Experienced Secondhand Heartbreak?

    iStockphotoiStockphotoA couple months ago I discovered that the husband half of a couple I've known for years was leaving his wife for one of his grad students. I was shocked. I mean, I've had friends go through relationship ups and downs before, but this couple was one I'd always looked up to as a relationship ideal. It sounds cliché, but they seemed like the perfect couple. They were both creative, independent (yet also very supportive of each other) and seemed very much in love. They went on adventurous vacations, were both still super hot-hell, they even had a house with a white picket fence! How could they break up?! How could they do this to me?!

    I wasn't the only one devastated by their split. My friend Jerry broke the news, and when I picked up the phone, for a second I thought someone had died. We ruminated on how it could've possibly happened. They seemed so happy! So in love! The unspoken subtext of the call being if they can't make it, what hope do we average, boring people have?


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  • How To Survive Being "A Little Bit Married"

    AmazonAmazonThe other night, I was having dinner with a friend, and over dessert she mentioned how unusual it is that I've never lived with a significant other. I'd never really thought about it before, but she's right-I can only think of one or two friends who haven't shacked up with a boyfriend or girlfriend. But even though I've never lived with anyone, I have had two relationships that reached the four-year mark. There's no denying that relationships have changed now that the average man gets married at age 27.1 and the average woman gets hitched at 25.3. In 1970, less than half a million married couples lived together-today, more than five million do. Which means that almost every 20- or 30-something has been through one, if not more than one, phase of being quasi-married. Journalist Hannah Seligson has written a new book about this phenomenon called A Little Bit Married: How To Know When It's Time To Walk Down The Aisle Or Out The Door. Since she's interviewed hundreds of people in serious

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  • 30 Signs You're Dating A Jerk

    iStockphotoiStockphotoWe've already armed you with a checklist of traits that might indicate that your boyfriend is a loser or majorly annoying, but what about that oh-so-common creature, The Egomaniac? Here are 30 signs you might be dating the ultimate narcissist in disguise.

    1. He can't take an innocent joke at his expense.
    2. He works in advertising, has an M.D., or is the lead singer and/or most good-looking member of a band.
    3. He tells you about the assorted girls who hit on him. Or worse, the ones who looked at him and thus OBVIOUSLY wanted to hit on him.
    4. He gives you a verbal resume on a first date. Even if it sounds impressive, run.
    5. He begins 75 percent of sentences with I.
    6. He gets irritable when you IM while he's busy at work, but doesn't think twice about bugging your ass all day long when things are "slow" for him.
    7. He tells you about the extreme minutiae of his day as if it's fascinating.
    8. He complains about how uncomfortable he is because it's hot/cold/crowded, when
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  • Do Fighting Styles Need To Be Balanced For A Relationship To Survive?

    iStockphotoiStockphotoI've always considered fighting to be a really important part of a relationship. Almost as important as how we f**k. Hear me out on this one. Just like screwing, I've always thought that there needed to be a balance, a compatibility in the way my dude and I verbally sparred. If we fought the same -- either by withdrawing emotionally or screaming obscenities or sobbing tears of rage -- our disagreements would never, ever end. I'm a weeper and, at times, an emotional mess. Often the only thing that can pull me out of the sinkhole is the soothing voice and manner of someone -- a man, in this case -- taking charge and putting an end to a fight as swiftly as it began. It's the one area of my life where sometimes I feel like I need a little "saving."

    I'm pretty together in my daily life. I've financially supported myself for years; I have a great but demanding job, the pressures of which rarely phase me. I don't usually lose my cool, especially after some maturing in the last few years.

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  • Take It From Him: Men Do Not Dig Surprises

    iStockphotoiStockphotoA recent issue of GLAMOPOLITAN magazine instructed its female readers to surprise their boyfriends by showing up at the dude's apartment wearing a trench coat and nothing underneath. Don't do this. And I'm not telling you not to do it because a silly girly magazine said so. I kind of enjoy those trash-diculous publications: they're like Maxim with mood swings. Where else am I going to learn to love my curvy body? (But seriously, diet anyway. Did you know there are no calories in a hangnail?)

    No, I just fear this is a standard belief amongst womenfolk, that men would enjoy such a thing. Men aren't into surprises the way women are. For instance: you know that trick where you buy someone a tiny gift and wrap it in a huge box filled with tissue paper? I have employed that trick numerous times with girlfriends. And they love it. First, they wrinkle their nose over the sloppy gift wrapping job. In their head, I'm sure they're picturing a big, clumsy teddy bear with tape on his nose, ribbons

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  • "Put Yourself Out There!" Is Really Annoying Dating Advice

    iStockphotoiStockphotoLast night I had dinner with my friend Cecilia*, and, as you might expect, our conversation turned to dating. We're around the same age, and many of her friends are married and having kids. As is the plight of many a single woman with friends who have settled down, Cecilia has been getting plenty of unsolicited advice about how she can meet Mr. Right. One of the most common pieces of advice? "Put yourself out there!" Cecilia and I share a mutual loathing for this particular phrase.

    For starters, what does it even mean? Cecilia and I aren't shut-ins. We don't have bed sores from sitting on our couches eating cheese doodles for weekends on end. We shower; we dress nicely and look presentable, even when running errands in the rain. (You never know when someone awesome like Ryan Gosling -- who lives in my neighborhood supposedly, OMG -- might be out running errands too). We leave our apartments to go to work, dinners, parties, and bars -- you know, the places where 90 percent of our

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  • A 9-Year-Old Fashion Reporter?

    Fashion blogger Garance Dore posted this pic to her Twitter account with the caption: "Bloggers have broken the double digits: 9 year old now front row ! (And working!)" Wow ... if this trend continues, toddlers are going to be writing Vogue editorials. Is this for real? [Garance Dore's Twitter]

    By Leonora Epstein for The Frisky
    More to Love from The Frisky:

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  • 21 "Updated" Wardrobe Staples Under $100

    Rachel Zoe recently posted her January Basics Guide, and while we agreed with most of them, we had one little problem: Zoe and her clients are all bazillionaires (or at least millionaires), while we working girls have to be a little more thrifty when it comes to padding our closets, even when it comes to basics. (Um, also, we don't buy new ones every month, do you?) The following is a collection of affordable, updated for 2010 ideas, and if, say, you bought the whole show, you'd have 21 pieces that you could mix and match and look stylish all year-round. Check 'em out, and be sure to share your own personal standbys with the class when you're done.
    By Erin Flaherty for The Frisky
    A Crisp White Shirt: This is one item that you should get dry-cleaned regularly so it's always hanging in your closet fresh-pressed and ready to go. Obviously, you can wear the button-down to a business meeting or out for drinks, and don't be afraid to try updates like bell sleeves or a tunic-style.Plastic

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  • Kourtney Kardashian Gets The Deluxe OK! Photoshop Treatment


    Another celeb has taken to Twitter in order to address outrageous magazine Photoshopping. But while Demi Moore fought against the claims that she was altered,Kourtney Kardashian is readily admitting that her body in real life does not match what appears on the cover of OK! magazine. And to make matters worse, in the race to secure exclusives, it seems that editors failed to actually ensure the rights to the story. "One of those weeklies got it wrong again … they didn't have an exclusive with me," tweeted Kourtney. "And I gained 40 pounds while pregs, not 26 ... But thanks!" In addition to their inaccurate figures, the magazine also altered her cover image, making her appear skinnier than she really is.

    "They doctored and Photoshopped my body to make it look like I have already lost all the weight, which I have not," said Kourtney.

    We have to give her props for taking a stand against digitally altering her post-baby body, and letting the world know that losing those pregnancy

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  • Why People Make Dumb Blonde Jokes: An Explanation

    Splash NewsSplash News

    Researchers do all kinds of dumb studies but the latest dumb study gets kind of meta: it's about why men tell "dumb blonde" jokes. According to the journal Society, men crack wise about "dumb blondes" because they're intimidated by their perceived sexiness. You know, all those mystical, magical sexy-powers blondes keep in theirhair!

    Pardon me for sounding like a blonde here, but ... like, duh.

    Let's get real: dissing blonde smarts is more about disrespect than "intimidation." The bimbo stereotype is a pretty easy way to feel big about yourself in the most grade school-ish of ways. Unfortunately, blondes are just the scapegoats we have for "dumb" women, since there are plenty of beautiful women in the world who intimidate guys. (I mean, Angelina Jolie. Hello.) It's pretty lame, though, that the Society study found that people crack "dumb blonde" jokes even in parts of the world where there aren't a lot of fair-haired ladies, like Asia, Brazil, and the Arab world. The jury is

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