Sometimes you've just got to grab your jaw, so it doesn't drop off your face.
That's how I've felt reading about the Securities and Exchange Commission porn investigation. To quickly recap, while the U.S. economy was freefalling, employees and contractors at the federal agency responsible for watching over Wall Street had their noses to the grindstone. Except that in this case, the only grinding taking place was between naked bodies going at it on the workers' computers.
These people weren't assistants: More than half of the 33 caught, earned between $99,356 to $222,418 a year. One headquarters senior lawyer, for example, spent up to 8 hours a day watching sex. "In fact, this attorney downloaded so much pornography to his government computer that he exhausted the available space on the computer hard drive," read the SEC report. He loaded the rest onto CDs and DVDs-boxes of which had piled up in his office.
Where do you even start?
1) How can people with multiple education degrees
Blog Posts by Liz Brody
- Liz Brody | Love + Sex – Sun, May 2, 2010 11:17 PM EDT
Sometimes you've just got to grab your jaw, so it doesn't drop off your face.Read More »from Is Porn Good for Your Sex Life? Or Bad? Take Our Poll
As the daughter of a man who creamed Tiger Woods in the sex scandal department, Chelsea Clinton will not be cheated on cheaply. Flashing new engagement bling these days, she's made her fiance, Marc Mezvinsky, sign a prenup that says if he has sex with another woman, it will cost him $10 million.
"Chelsea's world was shattered when she learned that her father had been unfaithful to her mom," a source told The National Enquirer, which broke the news, "...not once, but many times, [and it] made her very gun-shy about trusting the guys she dated."
Apparently, she's not the only one who is protecting her fidelity investment: Rumor has it that Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen signed a prenup with a $4 million cheating price tag, and that Catherine Zeta-Jones put a similar clause in hers with Michael Douglas. Even Sandra Bullock's prenup states that if Jesse James fools around on her, he'll get zilch, according to Radar online. (For the love of women, Sandra, please don't let himRead More »from Chelsea Clinton's Cheat-Proof Prenup (we love it)
Let's just discuss this whole Jessica Simpson Gets Fat thing. Clearly, we'll need some fine cutlery, because by now there's not much left to pick over. Every body part has been verbally frisked, dissed, drop-kicked around the Internet, and parodied up the BMI charts, from her "mom jeans" roll to her "pumped full of preservatives" breasts (not to mention the manky teeth, farts, and napalm vajayjay).
But If the poor girl has caused Belly-Gate while trying to do a reality show about the price of beauty, it all seems to be paying off. She hit the media circuit this week-from Ellen DeGeneres to Jay Leno to the cover of Marie Claire sans makeup-still flaunting her curves with spunky confidence.
As a body-image "challenged" person myself (cellulite-crazed, weight gainer, anorexic, throw in a little substance abuse, all the usual), I'd love nothing more than to love my love handles and honor my temple, despite what anyone thinks. I know that I-we-have better things to do than obsessRead More »from Why We Love Jessica Simpson Fat
Let's cut to the chase. If there were a safe, diet pill out there that really whittled your bod, would The Biggest Loser be in its ninth season? Would Kirstie Alley be on her second fat show? Would we be suffering through Jenny Craig, Atkins, acai berry scams, and deadly ephedra?Read More »from Why diet pills are not a safe way to lose weight
No. So what are these pills you can get from doctors? I'm not talking about the two on the market-Meridia and Xenical, which might budge off a few pounds if you're lucky. These fat cures have names like Topamax and Phen-Pro and Phen-5HTP.
In a telling survey of physicians in the journal Obesity, 266 weight specialists admit that they quite often dole out scrips for drugs "off label," as well as pharmaceutical cocktails that have never been tested. Off-label prescribing (i.e. in a way that has not been approved by the Food and Drug Administration) is common in medicine. But these are heavy meds, and their risks may not be worth the weight you might-or might not-lose. Weight, by the way, that will surely pile
- Liz Brody | Love + Sex – Mon, Apr 26, 2010 4:52 PM EDT
Prickly park bushes and airplane vacu-flush toilets may not be all that conducive to the delicacy of orgasm making. But for some people-many people, according to sex surveys-locking privates in a public place is a highly memorable experience.
Naturally, you're going to hope the memory doesn't involve an arrest-or blood poisoning, (which I almost died of when things got frisky in the Sonoran Desert National Monument, and I impaled my shin on a 2-inch cactus needle.)
There's just something deliciously erotic about wanting each other so badly that your better sense bails, and all you can do is scramble lustily for a place where no one will see you to quickly drop trou. Of course, the fact that someone might see you, only spanks up the heat. In a 2006 survey of 77,895 adults conducted by Elle Magazine and MSNBC.com, 22 percent said they'd snuck sex in a public place.
It was another survey that recently caught my eye, though. This one queried 5,000 librarians on their sexRead More »from Where's the weirdest place you've ever had sex? Take our poll!
It's hard to see much of anything between the blinding supernovae of cheating scandals, but have you noticed the stream of starry power-couples quietly unbinding?
You've got Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey tweeting adieus after five years of being tied at the funny bone. And before them, the serious, double-Oscar duo, Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes, ending their seven-year marriage. They "just grew apart," a source told People. And before them, Susan Sarandan and Tim Robbins, after 23 years together, dividing like a split end. Now, they, of all the famous pairings, seemed impervious to Hollywood wear and tear. "I won't marry because I am too afraid of taking him for granted or him taking me for granted," Sarandan once told the press. And yet....
What went wrong with these couples? And can experts help us all from going our separate ways? Maybe:
6 Ways to Keep from Drifting Apart
(beyond the obvious)
* The Simplest Thing: Guess what the secret to a long-lastingRead More »from Will 4 Kisses a Day Keep You in Love?
Sure, diet and exercise are key to making pounds disappear. But while we're waiting for the results, why not depend on the kindness of illusion? As in: "Now you see it. Now you don't!"Read More »from Instant Skinny: 8 Ways to look thinner, now!
Personally, I'm clueless as far as fashion and beauty go, so I'm pretty pumped to bump into former colleague Charla Krupp, whose book, How To Never Look Fat Again: Over 1,000 Ways to Dress Thinner-Without Dieting, just came out and made a beeline for the bestseller list. According to Charla (and a few other style wizards), short of Photoshop, there's a lot of trickery to be had...
Not so hot: Chunky platforms, flats, round- and square-toed styles all make your legs look heavier, says Charla. As for high-heeled gladiators? "I think they're horrible. If you've got fat feet or cankles, having a lot of straps is not a pretty picture."
"What you want to do is keep the front of your foot free," Krupp says. "I love a nude pump. It lengthens your leg. If you wear a color that
- Liz Brody | Work + Money – Thu, Apr 22, 2010 4:53 PM EDT
Jen, you devil, you. We'll never have your hair. Nor your cool to simply levitate over a Brad Pitt dumping.Read More »from Hot, Hot Legs: Jennifer Aniston's trainer is on site!
But you've clearly been working out something fierce, and we've gone be-gaga over those gams. We want your legs, sister. Maybe you could throw us a clue?
Actually, good Friend that she is, Aniston has been more than willing to share her trainer-Mandy Ingber-and even to appear on Ingber's new DVD, Yogalosophy. The workout is a unique blend of lengthening yoga poses and tough-love toners. And if you're thinking, Oh, Jen was just born with great legs, check out Ingber's how-to below. "You exhaust the bigger muscle groups with the yoga, and then you work into the toners to get the pin-point burn," says Ingber, who's so busy training Hollywood types these days, she barely has time for her own centering routine.
Take 10 to 15 minutes, and try Ingber's mini-workout to start re-defining your legs. "You start to crave it," says Aniston.
3 Moves to Aniston Gams
THE 101: For each move, you
We know. It's 4 o'clock. And you really, like really want a snack. You know you should have an apple, but let's just say...that's not gonna happen. Snack-time is often how diets are blown, weight is gained, and we all get bummed out.Read More »from The best and just very worst snacks around
But help is on the way! On behalf of unhealthy snackers everywhere, I caught up with the Nutrition Twins, Tammy Lakatos Shames and Lyssie Lakatos, two New York City registered dietitians (yep, they're twins-identical) and authors of The Secret to Skinny and Fire Up Your Metabolism. They took me to a Manhattan grocery store and ruffled through bags and boxes of salty crunchies to suss out the best and just the very worst munchies around.
SHOULD YOU SNACK OR PUT BACK?
PRETZELS (Snyders's of Hanover). Good choice, right? It's true they only have 120 calories and 1 gram of fat per serving (24 snaps), but they're soaring in salt (390 mg of sodium). "Pretzels are a real downfall for people," says Lyssie, "My clients think they're healthy and eat a whole
- Liz Brody | Bikini – Thu, Apr 22, 2010 1:52 AM EDT
Hey, we've been waiting for you. Thanks for checking out Bikini 101-Shine's new summer shape-up Shangri-la.Read More »from Welcome to Bikini 101! The 10 first steps to your best beach body ever
Don't let the name deter you. So, your style isn't exactly Kardashian kilowatt. Whether you live to rock the bare minimum, or prefer the more demure-say, a sturdy black one-piece-"bikini" is less a fashion statement than a state of mind.
We're talking about fun, a free spirit, flaunting your fabulosity-that feeling of knowing you're hot enough to cause global warming. Granted,most of us need a bit of help here. Which is why the top trainers, nutritionists, psychologists, beauty experts, and fashionistas are all showing up to make sure you look extremely fine all the way through beach season. Where to start?
STEP ONE: Accept where you are. If you hate your body, don't deny it. But try to recognize that you've done the best you can so far, and there's every reason you can do better in the future. Like a country, if you're at war with yourself, you're in a much weaker position