Blog Posts by Mommyfriend

  • Moms, Let's Play Nice

    I would never want to spark a Work Outside the Home Mom (WOHM) vs. Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) debate, because the battle is emotionally charged, super touchy and always ugly. Besides, I don't have space to store all those soapboxes anyway.

    In a fantastic recent article on Yahoo Shine, Mommy Tracked discussed how working mothers are referred to by some as "Weekend Mothers". As a working mother, I can assure you that nothing about my devotion to my children is part-time. Further, the stereotypes that surround the Stay At Home Mom are equally ignorant. Neither the SAHM or the WOHM have it easier, they just have it different.

    We have all made choices. We have all made sacrifices. We are all mothers.

    Seems to me we are more similar than different.

    And really, whether we work outside or inside the home, we are all working to raise smart, socially responsible and kind children who possess the values we personally hold dear.

    So to the sensational media, the misinformed and the moms with

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  • When Your Kid Is "The Bad One"

    I have always viewed my children's behavior as a reflection of myself and my parenting. When my kids have a meltdown in public, it's waaay personal for me.

    Why are they doing this? What am I doing wrong to make them behave like this? How do I get them to stop?

    My first son was easy, although back then I would have never believed you. Let me rephrase, my first son was easy, compared to my second son.

    Oh, my Little BooBoo, he is so naughty. He is 2, so he is actually right on schedule for naughty but he is really, deliciously naughty. He has moxie and gumption and all the wonderful qualities that will someday make him a wonderful leader. He loves to wrestle, punch, make anything into a gun or sword and goes around telling everyone, "SHOW YOURSELF!", because he is prepared to do battle with you. He is a 5 year old boy in a 2 year old's body.

    What have I gotten myself into? But more importantly, what the hell am I gonna do about it?

    To tell you quite honestly, I

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  • Are Today's Moms "The Lucky Ones"?

    I know a few ladies from the old school who were young mothers in the 1960's. I love these ladies to bits but I have to admit that I'm getting pretty tired of hearing how easy I have it.

    They have told me time and time again how they only had cloth diapers and had to boil their baby bottles. I have heard how their kids survived childhood diseases ours are now vaccinated against and how "lucky" I am.

    It's not luck, it's called progress.

    Our society is are getting smarter and progressing all the time. In 50 years, parents will have mind control over their kids and I will think they are lucky.

    The pressures and demands facing the modern Mommy Friend are wildly different than those of yesteryear. We cook, clean, mother, some maintain amazing careers, manage the logistics of entire families and look good doing it. Is it easy? Nope. Do we resent the challenge? Probably sometimes. But we do it. We do it everyday.

    I refuse to feel indebted to the disposable diaper for any

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  • Mommy Frenemies

    Let's talk for a moment about Mommy Frenemies. Like spider veins, we all have them.

    The Mommius frenemius (Mommy Frenemy) is the largest predatory threat to mothers.

    Obnoxium Backstabbius Frenemius:

    Classification: Mean Girls

    Kingdom Class Order Genus Species
    Women None Bottom Mommius frenemius

    The Mommy Frenemy is indigenous to environments where children and women gather. The frenemius species are conniving, predatory and perhaps most dangerously, seemingly friendly.

    General characteristics of the Mommy Frenemy include:
    - A sugary sweet persona
    - Judgmental behavior beneath the persona
    - Superiority
    - Repeated self-proclamation of their gifted children
    - Self-involved
    - Cattiness
    - Idle gossip

    It seems no matter how hard we try to limit our exposure to the Mommy Frenemy, they are always there; in
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  • I Just Broke Up With Gisele

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    I just broke up with Gisele.

    Supermodel Gisele Bundchen and I have been on the rocks for a while. Sure, maybe you haven't read about our tumultuous relationship in Us Weekly, but I'm taking to Mommyfriend to bring you the exclusive.

    Perfect Gisele gave birth to a perfect baby boy with her perfect husband, Tom Brady about 8 perfect months ago. Ever since she claimed her birth didn't hurt "in the slightest" and was back in her skinny jeans 24 hours postpartum, things have been, well, strained between us. As if it wasn't enough that her superior genetics made me feel subhuman, the fact that she potty trained her son at 6 months old and publicized it to the universe was enough to make me want to see other people.

    Gisele's latest stunt proved once and for all that it's not me, it's her.

    She recently proclaimed in Harper's Bazaar UK Fashion Issue that there should be a worldwide law that requires mothers to breastfeed their babies for at least 6 months.

    A "worldwide law"

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  • Birthdays, cries and videotape

    When you think back on your childhood, you can probably sum up your mom in a few words:

    "When I was a kid, my mom was always __________."

    I think we could all fill in the blank with some general statement about our mom from our childhood. That thought really scares me.

    We all know how hard motherhood can be and we especially know how hard we try. We know we are multi-faceted, we know we aren't perfect. But how will we be remembered by our children?

    As a child, my mom was responsible, loving and clean. Really, really clean.

    I was going through family videos and came across Little BooBoo's 1 st birthday party, a tiny family affair. Despite the intimacy of the occasion, I have this nasty tendency to get frazzled whenever I have guests in my home, and yes, this even applies to family.

    So there we were, getting all ready to sing Happy Birthday and Boy Wonder comes spinning into the room like a tornado, shouting and running into everything. After multiple failed

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  • Pregnancy Anonymous

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    Since I am obviously not a licensed psychiatrist, I am the last Mommy Friend who should be dishing out psychiatric diagnosis of any kind. Self-diagnosis however, is a whole different ball game I have been practicing for years. I have decided I suffer from Pregnancy Addiction, if there even is such a thing. So I just capitalized the term which made it look medically official but I'm pretty sure it's not. So if you will go with me here, I think maybe I've got something.

    Most Mommy Friends who have been pregnant have loved the attention. I mean, I think you have, I did. I can tell you that attention was all I had, especially in the later months when I outweighed my husband and child combined.
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    Yes it's true, I loved all the special treatment, the warm smiles from strangers, the special "Expectant Mothers" parking sign and how round my belly had become. I was all powerful and all female; see Queen of the Universe for a more in-depth analysis. So

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  • I Just Had A Baby, Please Leave Me Alone

    Call me what you will but I had really mixed feelings about hosting waves of well-wishers for extended stays once my baby was born. On one hand, you need help, and lots of it. It's highly likely in fact, in your darkest moments of uncertainty before your baby is born that you begin booking up your guest bed in preparation because it seems like a comforting idea. Someone who could step in, help care of the baby with the same diligence and methodology as yourself to allow you a little extra time to heal and rest would be ideal. And if you have someone in your life that truly fits the bill, grab on and never let go. But even if you've found your consummate Mary Poppins, I will advise you to proceed with caution.

    Once your baby is born, you will quickly realize that what you really need is a little peace and time to get your bearings worked out so you don't look like a total idiot in front of the know-it-all, mother-earth types. Nothing is worse than someone ripping your own

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  • It's Good for Kids to Want

    My boys have become little robots who watch television in a daze and mumble, "I want that" in a frightening monotone, I swear I've even heard it after a Barbie commercial or two.

    I long for the days when all my eldest wanted were toys instead of sophisticated and expensive technology. As of late, he's been begging for a cell phone and an iPod because he claims his friends have them. You know what, they probably do. They probably do because Big Daddy P and I are not their parents.

    "It's good to want", at least that's what my dad always told me. I think he saw wanting as a character-building experience.

    I was 8 years old in 1984 and the world had gone plain mad for the Cabbage Patch Kid doll.
    My parents were determined on principle not to get sucked into the Cabbage Patch hysteria. So I was the only kid on my street and probably the world without said Cabbage Patch doll in 1984. Screw those mini violins, bring out the big ones because in the 3rd grade I was invited to

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  • F- Your Birthplan

    Imagine you are in the beginning stages of labor and your midwife tells you she has a license plate frame on her car that says "F&%# Your Birth Plan". Well, mine did.

    Before I get into my personal birth plan story, let me say this: I know a lot and I mean A LA-HOT of pregnant Mommy Friends right now and everything you will read will tell you to draft a birth plan in preparation of your upcoming delivery. Now, I don't disagree with this advice at all, in fact, I myself penned a birth plan with my first pregnancy. A word of sincere advice however, please don't be hell bent on the execution of your birth plan as I was.

    With my first pregnancy, my delivery was a planned induction and armed with my trusty pillow and birth plan, Big Daddy P and I walked into Labor & Delivery (L&D) all kinds of calm and ready to meet our little one. My birth plan was the source of much of my calmness and having actually made it to L&D on a scheduled appointment was just perfect for a planner such

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