Let me start by saying that I actually do love my kids. All of them. Most of the time. Okay, all of the time. But some days . . . Well, some days, I don't really like them. Some days I want to place an add that reads like this:
For Sale! One Slightly Used 14-Year-Old!
He's housebroken and he doesn't waste time in the bathroom by doing any frivolous things like changing the empty toilet paper roll.
He Doesn't Require Laundry!
You won't have to do his laundry because he's perfectly happy wearing any dirty ole thing he finds on his floor even if he's already worn it a time or two or ten.
He Knows Everything!
If you want to know the answer to anything (ANYTHING AT ALL), just ask him because he knows EVERYTHING! Seriously, he's better than Google. Never again will you have to feel foolish for thinking you know something important when, in fact, you have no clue. He'll be happy to point it out when you're wrong.
Related: 14 little ways our