Brokenhearted? 5 Reasons It's Good to Lose at Love (Sometimes)

Let's face it, heartbreak sucks. We've all had those nights after a breakup where we stay up to the early morning hours, crying, eating ice cream, watching "Sex and the City" reruns and thinking, "Why me?" You may feel the need to round up all of your girlfriends and unload all of the dirty details, like how rough the split was, how upset you are, and how terrible he treated you. Sometimes, though, it really pays off to count the positives and forget about everything that went wrong. Here are five reasons it's good to lose at love (sometimes):

1. You Won't Be Tied Down: A lot of people use the excuse "I don't want to tie myself down" to stay single, and, sometimes, it's a smart idea. According to Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, Chicago-based psychologist and author of "A Happy You," a lot of couples suffer from "FOBU" - Fear Of Breaking Up - which happens when you know you want to split, but you're afraid of how a breakup will affect your social circles, your partner and your finances. "Know when to cut the cord," she says. "When you and your significant other have tried everything to make things right, let it go!" While the breakup may hurt, it's probably for the best. Now, you're no longer tied down and you're free to find real love the next time around.

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2. You'll Learn More About Yourself: "When you lose at love, you are given a chance to reassess yourself," says AJ Harbinger, co-founder and confidence coach for The Art of Charm. A broken relationship is never one-sided, so take the time to evaluate the things that you could have avoided. "This helps you approach your next relationship with a better understanding of how to meet the needs of your partner - something that is critical to being in a partnership," he explains. For example, did you spend too much time working and little time with him? With your next beau, try to be more understanding of how your priorities can affect him and ultimately impact your relationship.

3. You'll Have So Much More "Me" Time: Now's the time to take care of yourself. A difficult relationship can take its toll on you emotionally, financially and - yes - even physically. Take a break to focus on you. Appreciate the effort you put into your work and reap the benefits. And, with all this free time you have, you can pay attention to your body: join a gym, start a new diet, and feel better about yourself.

4. You'll Know What You Want: Heartbreak is painful, but it can teach you a lot. "It is the best thing that will ever happen to you," believes Eric Resnick, owner and lead advisor for "Out of the heartbreak comes the clarity of what you really do want in a relationship, and that is the first step to finding something that is truly long-lasting."

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5. You'll Be Stronger: "It is necessary to create tears when exercising in order to strengthen the muscle," explains sex, dating, and relationship coach Natalie Vartanian, CPCC, ACC. "The same thing goes for the heart. A broken heart really does make you stronger and makes it less likely to hurt as bad the next time around." Take some time to evaluate the relationship as a whole; the ups and downs alike will teach you about yourself, your dating style and what to avoid in your future relationships. Who knows - maybe you'll even start to appreciate your ex.

Lori Bizzoco is the Executive Editor of, a first-of-its-kind website that takes the latest celebrity news and repackages it to help singles and couples navigate their love lives. She is a sought after relationship and entertainment expert who has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Newsday, Chicago-Tribune, Working Mother, Woman's Day, Redbook, Parenting, and on Fox News, The Suze Orman Show, WebMD,, JDate, YourTango, and more. She's appeared in two books, 'No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Can Change How We Think about Power' by feminist icon Gloria Feldt and 'Cheat on Your Husband (With Your Husband)' by Andrea Syrtash. Today, has more than one million unique visitors per month.