How to deal when your boyfriend and friends don't get along

When you are in a relationship, where does that leave your circle of friends? Sometimes they fade away, and other times they are very much a part of your life. There may be some issues with mixing the two worlds, so you must be prepared. Dealing with conflict between the important people in your life is not easy. There are ways to avoid this from happening, especially if you care about both sides equally. These are some things to consider when introducing your boyfriend to your friends.

Include everyone

Never make your boyfriend or friends feel left out of your life. Always include both parties, especially if you guys are just hanging out. Allowing them to be around one another will help them ease into possibly building a friendship of their own. If you make them feel alone or pushed to the side, the resentment will start to build. I had a friend that used to do this. When she had a new boyfriend, she wouldn't have time for any of her friends. Eventually we all got sick of it, and jumped ship.

Make time for both

It will sometimes turn out that your friends are not fond of your chosen mate, or the other way around. You cannot force them to get along, and it is OK if they don't. Make sure that you have some girl's time planned and a few date nights as well. This will help avoid each of them feeling left out, and keep you sitting pretty with them. Keeping the peace is the most important thing, especially if you plan something long-term with him. I dealt with this about 10 years ago, and it was not something I enjoyed. I had to make time for both parties. It was hard, but it made all the difference in the world.

Make a choice

This should be an absolute last resort. Choosing your boyfriend over your friends or the other way around will not be easy. Think about the long-term effects this will have, and if it is really worth it. Unless you are absolutely sure you are going to marry this man, never let your friendships go. Men are unpredictable and it may not last. Make sure you know what you are doing, and that you can live with your choice. It has never come down to this for me, but I have seen this happen to many people. It is not worth throwing years of memories away for a fling with a new guy.

Your friends will not always agree with your choices, but they should respect them. If you can manage to have everyone get along, you should consider yourself lucky. At least make the effort to have time for both parties, especially because you owe it to yourself, if nothing else. Men come and go, but friends are forever.

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