My Desperate Plea for Normal Heels

These $4,000 Louboutins are yet another example of high heels on steroids. Photo courtesy of Net-a-porterI often write about the fashion that makes us sad, and lately the items that upset me the most are outrageous high heels. First off, I've never understood when women say "the higher the heel, the better." Towering stilettos might look "sexier," but any shoe I can't easily walk several blocks in, stand for several hours in, or dance in is not being purchased by me. Perhaps high heels aren't meant to be practical, but these days it's difficult to find heels that are 3.5" or lower and don't make my feet feel instantly numb.

The other element that makes me a combination of confused, disgusted, angry, and bummed out is the absurd amount of embellishments on high heels. I share Coco Chanel's philosophy on accessorizing. She said, "Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off." I wish all shoe designers would keep this concept in mind. So many current heels are adorned with zippers, buckles, studs, spikes, crystals, rosettes, animal prints, intertwining straps, platforms, and a random combination of four different materials like suede, patent leather, lizard-printed metallic leather, and calf hair. Aside from the fact that I find these Frankenshoes are a complete eye sore, tracking down a more neutral heel that could go with any outfit has become increasingly difficult. (If someone else wants to wear these things, so be it, but how about some basic options for me?!) Also: the more embellishments the higher the price, or at least so it seems.

With all that in mind I bring you the latest best-selling heel: Christian Louboutin's 20th anniversary Isolde Spiked Patent-leather Sandals. They cost $3,995 and they're almost completely sold out (the black ones are gone on Net-a-Porter, but the gold version is available in very limited sizes at Barneys and ChristianLouboutin.com. In the past few weeks I've seen Jennifer Lopez, Victoria Beckham, Kim Kardashian, Cassie, Monica, and "Real Housewives" star Nene Leakes wearing these monstrosities.

I would not wear these if they were given to me for free. In fact, I'm convinced Christian Louboutin is playing a practical joke on everyone, seeing how ridiculous and expensive he can make each pair of shoes and laughing as celebrities willingly wear them in public.

I don't think every pair of shoes needs to be a basic black pump. I like polka dots. I like neon. I like metallics. I like small buckles and studs. I just don't like them all at once, and I'm starting to wonder if I am alone in this thought. I'm also hoping every day that a more minimalist style with a less treacherous heel height comes back into fashion. And soon.

Related links:

Christian Louboutin's new eight-inch heels
What are the most comfortable heels you own?
The ugliest shoes, well, ever