Some Lingering MTV Video Music Awards Questions

Josh Duboff

Last night's VMAs took place in Brooklyn, which you would have been able to discern even if you'd only tuned in for thirty seconds given that it was apparently mandatory for anyone who found themselves on stage to shout "What's up, Brooklyn?" (a call that never seemed to garner more than a lethargic, disinterested response). Despite the many bold-faced names performing (Gaga, Katy, Kanye, Miley) and in attendance (Taylor Swift, Will Smith, Rihanna), there was - as has been the case in recent years - a certain lack of electricity about the whole thing.

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For the most part, the (frequent) pans to the audience during the show revealed celebrities appearing bored or distracted or tired. (One wonders if the rise in GIFs and "audience cams" has made celebrity attendees nervous about exhibiting any sort of marked reaction to performances/presenters.) There was nothing the entire night that even came close to the orbit of a Britney-Madonna kiss or Kanye-mic-hijacking. And events that might have qualified as even mild shocks (the 'N Sync reunion, Katy Perry performing from below the Brooklyn Bridge) had been spoiled in advance.

This morning after, though, we still have some lingering questions about last night's shenanigans.

What was up with the audio?

The telecast was plagued with weird sound issues. During the 89-minute Justin Timberlake performance (more on that in a bit), it sounded as though the entire audio system had been drenched in water (we know that doesn't make sense, but you know what we're getting at!). Anyway, we can only assume a cadre of MTV production supervisors received some tersely-worded texts this morning.

Why did Miley Cyrus leave early?
If there was anything that qualified as a "water cooler" performance last night, it would probably have to be Miley Cyrus' downright bizarre, tongue-flapping, underwear-bearing performance art. Cyrus warbled her way through her summer jam "We Can't Stop" and then segued into a vaguely uncomfortable, sexually charged duet with Robin Thicke on the ubiquitous "Blurred Lines." From our standpoint, there was something refreshing (even endearing) about Miley's utter lack of inhibition, but the audience - both in the Barclays Center and on Twitter - was less kind. In any event, the 20-year-old left the awards early, tweeting as much midway through the show without any further explanation.

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Which was longer: Justin Timberlake's performance or all the other performances combined?
We should not have been surprised that the guy who has never released a song that wasn't four minutes longer than it needed to be seemed to eat up a good 50 percent of the telecast with his performance, but we were. (It should be noted that Timberlake's former 'N Sync bandmates were allowed on stage for about a minute before being shunted off, no doubt en route to the dimly-lit basement where Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams dwell.)

What are Ariana Grande and Austin Mahone?
These two youngsters (born in 1993 and - eep! - 1996, respectively) apparently represent the next generation of pop star (yes, that's where we're at - Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are old guard at this point). Grande and Mahone performed during the pre-show, and Mahone snagged a Moonman during the telecast for Best "Artist to Watch," which led the mother of a certain blogger to text her son "Im confused, is this Austin Maloney famous or did he win a contest?

Where was Beyonce?
There had been some rumors before the show that Beyonce might make a surprise appearance. Alas, she was nowhere to be found. We can only assume she was watching at home, nestled between Blue Ivy and Jay, relieved she could make any sort of faces she wanted during the slew of performances, no "reaction cam" in sight.

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