Santorum Nail Polish is Disgusting and I Love It

santorum nail polishsantorum nail polishFinally, what we've all been waiting for: Santorum nail polish. I'm not kidding, it's out there, ladies. And you know you want it. Or at least I do. How better to celebrate the Republican primaries -- oh wait, you know what? This nail polish actually has nothing whatsoever to do with presidential candidate Rick Santorum.

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Nope. This nail polish is about the other "santorum" -- the one you learn all about when you Google his name. And that's why the polish is a lovely matte brown. Gross! And yet, I kind of love it.

I mean, if you took away the raunchy reference, you'd just have this uber-chic shade of brown. Such a lovely, earthy hue. Why, it reminds me of garden soil, or chocolate, or ... hmm, nothing else comes to mind, actually.

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Aaayaaaand, it's "big 3 toxin free" -- whatever that means. (Which three big toxins am I supposed to be avoiding?) But best of all it's "Original Manly Matte Nail Finish - Formulated For Ugliness." And we all know that in the world of high style, "ugly" is code for "glamorously bad-ass." And I do love me some bad-ass. Which brings us back to "Santorum."

Ha ha, no. I will not go there.

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No, instead I will just pay my $13.13 (for real?) and wear the punniest sexual-political nail polish that EVER WUZ. When I'm not wearing my Obama nail polish, of course.

Would you ever wear brown nail polish like this?

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Written by Adriana Velez for CafeMom's blog, The Stir.

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