Steve Martin's Outrageous Beauty Demands

Steve Martin as a comedian? Funny. Steve Martin as a humor writer? Possibly even better. We love his Shouts & Murmurs and Talk of the Town pieces for The New Yorker, but his latest bit making its rounds in the internet universe-his alleged "leaked" rider-might be our new favorite. Not only because it hilariously includes our favorite topics, beauty and fashion (even if that fashion is a "constricting" and "scratchy" thong for Martin himself), but because we actually got a shout-out.

Apparently, a little waterproof guyliner and a tutorial on "a smoky eye" from Allure is all Martin needs to look his best before performing (Steve, we make it a rule to call them smoky eyes, plural.) We figured we might as well offer him a little more advice-or material:

- For an especially sultry look, apply the liner before hopping into the shower.

- Tip! Smoky eyes don't always need to involve black eyeliner.

- Get wild and crazy (sorry) and throw some purple into the mix.

- And if your application skills aren't what they should be, try a kit.

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Photo Credit: WWD