The Worst Infomercials Ever, from Cami Secret to TopsyTail!
A good infomercial product may seem unnecessary at first, but after a quick tutorial you'll see what you must have the item. The way you're doing things now (often depicted in black and white) is extremely frustrating, time-consuming, and perhaps even dangerous. But the new wonder product you're about to buy will make your life easier, better, and so much happier. Yes, how did you live before you had this ingenious device? The latest infomercial going viral is NeverWet. Take a look at the video and other classic items you definitely don't need.
NeverWet, $19.97
Want everything you own to be waterproof? Spray this on your shoes, your clothing, your iPhone, anything. We're not sure if this destroys fabrics over time, but if this worked on hair for rainy days we might be sold.
Cami Secret, $9.99
Do all your shirts reveal too much cleavage than you're comfortable showing? Perhaps you're buying the wrong shirts. But, no, it can't be that. You just need a clip-on piece of fabric that looks like a camisole even though it's really not. Shhh, don't tell!
GLH (Great Looking Hair) Formula System, $20
Three cheers for Ron Popeil-creator of the food dehydrator and the infamous hair in a can. It took a real innovator to think of using spray paint to cover a bald spot.
Doc Bottoms Aspray deodorant, $14.95
You probably have underarm deodorant, and maybe even a foot odor eater, but what about all the other horrendous scents you're emitting? This spray blasts "beastly butt odor," and apparently makes your private parts smell fresh. This infomercial wins the TMI award. Unsurprisingly this ad was pulled, and the deodorant no longer appears to be available for purchase.
Robocut, $49.95
According to the item description, "If you can vacuum, you can cut your own hair!" Just hook it up to your vacuum hose, set the dial for the number of inches you want chopped, and this hand nozzle will suck your hair in and cut it off without any cleanup. Consider this an updated Flowbee (which apparently still exists and ain't cheap).
TopsyTail, $4.99
You know all those "creative ways to update your ponytail" stories? TopsyTail pioneered the trend in the early '90s, with this twisty 'do. We can thank Conair for bringing the plastic device back to us in recent years.
Rejuvenique electric facial mask, $88.99
This mask zaps electric impulses to 12 "facial zones" in 20-second intervals for a more youthful face. This this is so scary, we'd sooner encounter Jason from "Friday the 13th."
Trendy Top, 4 for $10
Think of this as the Cami Secret for your waist. We like the idea of hiding your muffin top, butt crack, or thing peeking out the back, but why not just buy clothes that fit. The tagline for this garment is "the top that's not" so you get the layered effect without an actual camisole. But isn't the point of layering being able to take layers off? We're so confused.
BluBlockers, $49.95
Dr. Geek is more than a hip-hopper. He spent most of the '90s shilling the giant sunglasses that fit over your eye glasses. "Man, go getcha some BluBlockers. UHH!" The original shades are history, but the brand lives on.
PedEgg, $9.95
Who needs a pumice stone when you can use a bonafied cheese grater to shred up your heels and make your own parmesan out of dead skin? Oh, sorry-that's just what you're looking for? Enjoy!
Music Vest, $34.95
Perhaps a music vest isn't a necessity anymore with iPod speakers and what not, but man, we'd trade some MP3s to wear one of these for a day. Talk about making an entrance!
Genie Bra, 3 for $19.98
Many women have a tough time finding a great bra, but this magical bra promises to morph to any size to support your bust. Oh and there's no underwire, but this wondrous brassiere will support those DDs comfortably without it. Sound too good to be true? Take it to the genie!
Booty Pop, $28
So, you weren't blessed with a plump derriere. No big deal. These panties work like a padded bra for your tush. Strategically placed pads help you fill out your jeans without working out. But you may be embarrassed if someone sees you in your undies!
Snuggie, $27.99
When it's freezing and regular blankets just won't cut it, what you need is a blanket cape with wizard sleeves so long you might trip over it! How ridiculous, right? Well, the powers of this infomercial were strong, as people ran to buy them for every member of their family. We've yet to see anyone wear a Snuggie to a sporting event though, so there!
