The female orgasm: What we need to know now

An orgasm is simply defined as a physical reflex that is usually pleasurable consisting of a series of involuntary muscular contractions, but in actuality it is so much more. The orgasms of women have been in the news the past couple of years for a number of interesting reasons. A study published last year in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that 54 percent of the women who participated admitted to faking orgasms. Meanwhile Web MD says that 10 percent of women have never ever experienced an orgasm, period. In addition, only a paltry 30 percent of women has ever reached a sexual climax through intercourse.

Then there's the g-spot, the place hidden in your body that is said to trigger the most intense orgasms ever. A few years ago doctors at the University of L'Aquila in Italy claimed that they had found definitive proof of the elusive (for some) g-spot. They concluded that the G-spot exists but not all women have one. That's that, right? Not so fast. This year, a Yale urological surgeon said that there is no proof at all that the g-spot exists.

Phew. It's a great deal to take in right? This is all compounded by the fact there there's a new supposed medical issue on the block called FSD, Female Sexual Dysfunction. The claim is that 40 percent of women experience some sort of sexual dysfunction. It's sort of like if most of our families are "dysfunctional" then doesn't that mean that most of us are just normal and being judged by some ridiculous standard?

Don't be so quick to throw any sexual issue you have under the clock of Female Sexual Dysfunction. Human behavior fluctuates. Sometimes we have a high libido. At other times we could care less. The banner of FSD includes everything from lack of sexual desire to vaginal dryness. Women have written in to my blog with a self-diagnosis of FSD because they are unable to have vaginal orgasms or are experiencing vaginal dryness. This is all perfectly normal!

Before you try to medicate away what doesn't ail you, really examine the issue and your life at the moment. If you are experiencing less sexual desire and you are going through a period of stress, this is natural. Sometimes life just takes over. Try to find ways to reconnect to your body like walking, dancing, working out and self pleasure. Internal dryness can often be remedied by increasing your water intake.

Be willing to release the idea of what should be happening in your bedroom. Everyone's body reacts differently. Let the idea of simultaneous orgasms go then free yourself to experience whatever pleasure your body brings you. Most importantly, try a shift in perception.

Think of your orgasm as a gift you bring yourself rather than something that a partner makes happen. Those little differences can have you swinging from the rafters.

Good luck!

More from this Contributor

How to use body language to make your love life juicier

Hooking Up with Your Ex? Read This First!

The cheater meter: Can you predict if your man will cheat?