13 Ways to Be Bold

Real women tell us their boldest moment. Get inspired, then get out there.
by SELF Staffers

1. "I hiked the Appalachian Trail alone."
I love the outdoors, and not long after I graduated from college, I had five months off and nothing to do, so I decided to hike the Appalachian Trail solo from Georgia to Maine--I thought it'd be a fun challenge. But I'd never backpacked before, and I was scared of everything: bears, murderers, even starving. Soon, though, I realized the bears were afraid of me (the two adult bears I saw spotted me first and walked away), and that I could ask other hikers for help. More than 2,000 miles, countless blisters and five months later, I made it to the end. Since then, no challenge seems too large. --Christi Holmes, 25, Machias, Maine

2. "I proposed to my husband."
A little more than two years after we started dating, I bought Kevin a pair of Tiffany cuff links and engraved them with the date I wanted to be our wedding day. When I handed him that fancy blue box, I said, "Will you marry me?" We've been married for 19 years. --Duby McDowell, 53, Hartford, Connecticut

3. "I joined the Roller Derby (and I was no athlete)."
Three years ago I went roller-skating and spotted some Roller Derby girls--I couldn't take my eyes off them. I Googled them when I got home, and even though I was afraid of not being strong, thin or cool enough, I tried out for the team a few weeks later. I just had to know whether I could do it. I made it! But afterward, I was even more nervous about looking foolish. So I trained hard, listened to my teammates, and eventually something clicked: I realized I am good enough; I belong. --Stephanie Davidson, 44, Bloomington, Illinois

4. "I had a baby on my own--on purpose."
I spent my 20s isolated, as a full-time caregiver to my grandmother. Afraid I'd never get to be a mom, I made the decision at 29 to get pregnant on my own. To me, being bold means not waiting to build the life you want. My son is now 4 years old. --Dresden Shumaker, 37, Philadelphia

5. "I up and moved to Paris."
I wanted to be a writer, and even though I didn't speak any French, Paris seemed like the perfect place to explore my creative side. So I rented an apartment online and moved there from New York City. At first, I relied on Google Translate to learn the language, but the more people I met, the more my French was kindly corrected. My vocabulary grew, I wrote every day, and I even got published. It taught me that I'm strong enough to risk failure and capable of working hard enough to succeed. --Jessica Ciencin Henriquez, 28, New York City

6. "I'm training to be an NFL referee."
Being bold means doing what interests you, even if it's unconventional. For me, that's football. I'm a part of the NFL officiating development program, and I could become the league's first permanent female official. --Sarah Thomas, 39, Brandon, Mississippi

7. "I performed stand-up with zero experience."
I was interested in doing comedy, but I'd never stood onstage alone, so I needed to prove to myself I could. It was a small club in Chicago, and when the emcee said my name, that walk to the microphone felt like slow-mo. I finally opened my mouth and my voice shook. Some of my jokes didn't land, and the silence was oh-s--- awkward. I wanted to run, but mostly I wanted to stay and fight. When I started riffing about the differences between Iowa and Chicago, everyone started laughing. I learned that night there's power in making people laugh, and I want to keep pushing myself to do it. --Kadie Dennison, 21, Lisbon, Iowa

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8. "I'm almost 6 feet tall, and I wear 6-inch stilettos." In fashion, being bold means dressing for yourself, no one else. So, even though I'm already 5 foot 11, I wear 4- to 6-inch heels every chance I get. Sexy shoes aren't just for shorter girls. --Raven Scott, 19, Austin, Texas

9. "I fight fires."
On my first call as a firefighter, my greatest fear was that I'd freeze up and wouldn't be able to go inside. I was the first one to reach the door of the burning building, and that's what happened: I froze. But only for a second, until I remembered there were people inside praying to be rescued. I pulled three kids out of that house. Embrace your fears, and you can do anything. --Carrie Savage, 22, Cedar Rapids, Iowa

10. "I helped bold women share their stories."
In Afghanistan, a lot of rural women aren't allowed to go to school, much less discuss poetry. But many express themselves through short poems. As a poet and journalist, I felt compelled to tell their stories. So, over the past two years, I visited Afghanistan twice to meet with women in refugee camps and collect their poems, which I'm sharing in an upcoming book. Living boldly is about taking the risk of going part of the way, and then seeing if it's safe to go farther. Most of the time, you can." --Eliza Griswold, 40, New York City

11. "I wrote about being bipolar."
Recently, I published a graphic memoir called Marbles about my mental illness. I feared people would wonder, Did she just say that because she's crazy? But to be bold, you have to go to a place of discomfort. It's part of living a full and honest life. --Ellen Forney, 45, Seattle

12. "I ended my career and spoke out against the skinny ideal."
At 19, I was a lingerie model, and I was miserable. I was 5 foot 10, 120 pounds, but someone in the industry called me a fat pig and I wasn't going on castings. When I took laxatives, ate only fruit and hit 108 pounds, I booked jobs like crazy. I was so weak, I almost passed out. About a year and a half ago, I quit the industry and wrote a book, I'm No Angel, about its unhealthy beauty standards. Now I'm heavier but healthier and happier than ever. --Kylie Bisutti, 23, Bigfork, Montana

13."I broke off my engagement."

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