Kate Middleton’s Hair is Under Attack

Josh Duboff

Kate Middleton
Kate Middleton

In the royal, U.K. version of, uh . . . Jennifer Lawrence being told to stop giving interviews, maybe, Kate Middleton has been advised to cut her hair. Yes, Kate's locks-which recently bested the likes of Beyoncé's and Jennifer Aniston's in a poll assessing the "most wanted hairstyle"-have come under attack, from none other than mother-in-law Camilla Parker Bowles. Per Glamour U.K., after Kate recently made her first public appearance of 2014 (in a recycled blue Jenny Packham gown), Camilla took umbrage with the way in which Kate wore her hair.

"Camilla has tried to help and advised [Kate] to go shorter and lighter," a royal source said. "[Kate] has looked bedraggled recently and it's not a good image."

"Tried to help"?!? Really, "royal source" speaking on behalf of Camilla? That's like when your friend "tries to help" by offering you a gym membership for your birthday, or when your mom "tries to help" by sending you listings for jobs in an entirely different career field than the one you're currently in. We hope, if this is in fact how it went down, that Kate didn't even deign to engage, at most rolling her eyes and then covertly texting Pippa about it ("she's at it again!").

It's not just Camilla, though, who has decided to crusade for a Kate chop. Bowles's personal hairdresser, Jo Hansford, said, "I think [Kate's] hair needs to be cut. She could get rid of a good six inches. It seems to be getting longer and longer but it is too long and is dragging down." Additionally, Denise McAdam, former royal hairstylist and "close personal friend" (until this interview got published, at which point we imagine Kate "lost her number"), told the Radio Times, "I don't do the royals anymore, although I'm a good friend of the Duchess of Cambridge . . . I think her hair is wonderful, maybe a little overdone at times."

"Dragging down"? "Overdone"? "Bedgraggled"? Have these people seen Kate twirl her ringlets? Have they looked through our "Kate's Hair in Review" slideshow?! Do they understand that studies have shown that just one strand of Kate's hair can heal up to 15 sick children when brushed on their skin? Criticize at your own peril, Camilla and friends; personally, we wouldn't want to cross a coif more powerful than nearly all world presidents.

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