6 Key Things Every Good Friend Should Do

Move from occasional buds to BFFs with advice from our relationship experts.
Move from occasional buds to BFFs with advice from our relationship experts.

1. Find the time
Build a get-together into your schedule (join a committee or attend weekly yoga together), so you see each other regularly. "Then after class, get a smoothie or tea to spend quality time talking and sharing," says Shasta Nelson, CEO of GirlFriendCircles.com, a women's friendship matching site. Most women consider someone a friend after six to eight interactions -- about two months into the weekly fitness routine.

2. Pump up the positive
Vent sessions and heart-to-hearts are healthy, but in moderation. Compliment your friend on an accomplishment, try something new together, and take photos. "Powerhouse female friendships are relationships where women are cheering, supporting and both publicly and privately affirming each other," Nelson says.

Related: 15 Celebrity BFFs We Can't Get Enough Of

3. Use (don't abuse) social media
Liking a pal's post or leaving her a quick note is a great way to remind a friend you're thinking of her, but don't let your thumbs-up replace meeting up. "Face to face is a conversation, whereas social media is two separate people talking at each other. You can't ask questions, hold hands, or give high fives online," Nelson says.

Related: Facebook Helps Reunite Sisters After 40 Years

4. Go above and beyond
Facebook reminders make it so easy to wish someone a happy birthday or congrats on an engagement -- "but it's ease diminishes the value," says Jan Yager, Ph.D., and author of Friendshifts. Distinguish yourself from the other hundreds of quick posts with a call or sweet card, too.

5. Phone a friend
If you can't see your gal pal as often as you used to, aim to call her at least once a month. The more time that passes, the less likely you are to call. "It may take an hour or more to catch up, and you'll say 'I don't have time to do that now,'" Nelson says. "You can't tell a friend about what your horrible boss said because you'd need to also catch her up on other life happenings first." Stick to shorter and more frequent phone calls or Skype dates, and think about picking a recurring time that's convenient for you both.

Related: How to Navigate the Trickiest Friendship Situations

6. Really listen
"Don't sit and take notes, but maybe jot down in your smartphone a birthday, name of sibling after a conversation," says Yager. The next time you see her, ask about something you touched upon earlier. You want to show that you were really listening -- not just smiling and nodding.

- By Kathleen Corlett

More from Good Housekeeping: