How to Ask for a Second Opinion

Does the thought of getting a second opinion for something you're facing freak you out a little bit?

Maybe your doctor is telling you to get surgery, or an invasive test, or a procedure you're not sure you need. Perhaps they've found cancer, and you'd like to know more about your options for next steps. Could be your 90-year-old mother is on a respirator and they want to do lung surgery. Should you sign for that? How do you know what to do?

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Getting a second opinion for something significant or high risk is almost always a good idea. But when I talk to my friends about their healthcare concerns, even the most assertive stumble and stammer when they confront the possibility that they might have to tell their doctor they'd like to talk with someone else. To some people it feels like dating two people at once, or turning your back on a trusted friend.

They're sometimes afraid they'll anger their physician and injure that important relationship. They also might be overwhelmed with the question of how to find another physician, and worry about how to get their test results and medical record information transmitted from one doctor to the other.

Why bother with a second opinion? It can only benefit you. There really is no downside. If the second or third healthcare provider agrees with your initial physician, then you may have more confidence in following the path first suggested. Sometimes, however, you'll hear about another approach that appeals to you more or that data suggest is better for you. You may discover you like the style or personality of another doctor, or you prefer the hospital where the other physician has privileges (is approved to do surgeries, procedures and see patients).

So how do you do it? You can tell your physician, "This is a really important decision for me and I appreciate everything you have told me. I'd like to take the time to get a second opinion." Or you could say, "I understand there may be a few different ways to go from here. I trust you would understand that I would like to get a second opinion before making my decision about how to proceed." If your physician is not supportive of getting another doctor's point of view, move on. Most doctors, if in your position, would get a second opinion for themselves or their family.

The next step is finding the right doctor to render that second opinion. There are a few ways to do this. You can talk with your physician, friends, and family. You can call a major medical center and ask for a physician experienced with treating people with your diagnosis or situation.

When you phone the second doctor's office, tell them your situation, in brief, and ask them what information they would need from you and your current physician, and whether they would like you to bring that information (usually your chart, and sometimes disks with your X-rays, MRI scans, biopsy slides or results, etc.) with you when you come for your visit, or rather send them ahead so the physician can review them before seeing you. Then just ask your current physician to send them.

The time and effort you invest in a second opinion will serve you well. And it's a step in the right direction, asserting your role as CEO of your own body. Healthcare providers are your essential consultants. You, however, are the ultimate decision maker.

Barbara Bronson Gray, RN, MN, is the founder of the blog www.bodboss.com, which is "dedicated to helping people learn to be the CEO of their own body and better guide their own health care." Besides her hands-on work as both a nurse and supervisor in hospitals, Barbara has written articles that have been published in a number of national magazines and newspapers. Follow her on Twitter: @bbgrayrn.