Body of Work: Side effects of weight-loss surgery--an exporter of natural gas

Some of the side effects of the duodenal switch procedure for weight loss: it is necessary to take vitamins for the rest of your life, because you malabsorb them, and nutritional deficiencies are possible. You can develop intolerances to certain foods. Your body odor can change. If you are not vigilant with the amount of protein you consume, your hair can thin, and sometimes drop out. Your bowel movements will be frequent and unpleasantly loose. And if you eat some foods--particularly high-fat, high-carb foods, and sometimes dairy--you will experience noxious gas, and so will everyone around you. Sometimes, even if you don't eat anything but protein, you'll experience noxious gas anyway.

Some of those things, I've dealt with--I take my vitamins, some days more vigilantly than others, but I am working on making it an unbreakable habit. I've become lactose intolerant, to my great horror. My body odor hasn't changed, and after a scary few months where I could see my baby-fine hair becoming baby-finer, my hair thickened back up. I poop a lot, and I carry matches with me everywhere, because of that. And I have noxious gas.

Weight-loss surgery is not a miracle, but it is an option.

It is noxious, embarrassing, unpleasant gas that lingers, which I don't like to talk about, and which I have tried to avoid talking about all this time I have been writing about weight loss surgery. Because who wants to admit that they smell terrible, that they can clear out a room, that they live in fear that their body will choose the very worst possible times in the world to announce itself--on a plane, in a crowded restaurant, in a car or an elevator, in your boss's office. When I say noxious, I am not really so much exaggerating. At all. In fact, it is possible that noxious doesn't quite cover it. It is possible that as I type this, I am sinking deep into that feeling of humiliation and shame that happens when people in 7-11 start looking around them, wondering where the heck that smell came from, and oh my god, what died? (If you're prone to bloating, check out these helpful tips.)

I am fairly petite and have a sweet, dopey-looking face. And I can blink with the best of them, look around confusedly and wrinkle my nose, and no one ever expects that this terrible smell could possibly be coming from me. There's a comedian who tells a story about how he and his wife were just about to valet park, when she suddenly farts obnoxiously. She shrugs and says "I don't care. He's just going to think it's you." And it's true--ladies don't make smells like the smells that I make. Does that mean I'm not a lady?

It feels oddly good to confess this to you, no matter how embarrassed I am. There's so much that has been awesomely wonderfully super-great about fitting into the world at a smaller size and not being noticed (and sometimes, being noticed). And then there is this major drawback. You'd be surprised at what a drawback it is. You'd be surprised at how often it worries me, panics me, occupies my thoughts, controls my movements, makes me feel ashamed. Sometimes, regret. You'd be surprised.

The scary side-effects of weight loss surgery that you might not know about.


Maybe it's not as bad as I think it is, and I am not actually a farting machine. Except probably it is and I am. I am so aware of it all the time, and always worried. I spend a lot of time searching other people's faces to see if they have noticed, if they are horrified and feeling nauseated, if they have realized it is me. I spend a lot of time wanting to apologize.

There are ways to make it slightly less bad--watching what I eat helps. Some foods trigger it worse than other foods. They say, charcoal tablets, chloroform, inserts into your underpants. Not having had weight loss surgery.

Would I go back if I could? I wouldn't. I don't think I would. Most days, no. But if you're thinking about it, look at that list of possible side effects and take it seriously. If you've got a friend who has done it--know that she's really, really sorry, okay?

Related:Is it okay to lie about having weight-loss surgery?

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