Detoxing with Moxie

Deprivation is never easy, but it's always done better with a friend. Come May, my post New Year's workout regimen was yielding mediocre results. With an event to attend in several weeks, I needed to up my game.


One of my fabulous coworkers who was receiving acupuncture and seeing a naturopath, told me about a cleanse she was starting and I decided it was now or never: I was in it to win it. Now a quick disclaimer: I don't do fasts. Three hours without food, nutrition deprivation sets in, I get the delirium tremens and forget my own name. But this cleanse was more realistic: for 10 days, no alcohol, gluten, red meat, dairy, soy (except the feremented kind), preservatives, white sugar, and gasp -- caffeine -- the hardest thing to give up during a workday. But I called in my reserves of strength, knowing I could withstand anything for 10 days..the following is a chronicle of said journey:

Day 1: Where's my f***ckin coffee? My water, lemon juice, agave, and cayenne pepper concoction is NOT the same.
Day 2: Starting to miss meat, really hungry...my coworkers' head is starting to resemble a pork chop.
Day 3: Learning to appreciate caynenne pepper is a good coffee substitute, really lifts me up, although I need breath mints every 5 minutes, as I smell like a curry house.
Day 4: I'm saving a lot of money since I eat next to nothing, very nice!
Day 5: Michael, the coffee cart guy at work, is no longer speaking to me.
Day 6: Rough day at the office, I could really use a nice chianti!!
Day 7: Self-imposed, planned break due to good friend's birthday. Indulge in 3 glasses of sangria and tapas: meatballs, foccaccia, potatoes brava...
Day 7: Post-dinner.where's that cab? I need to go home NOW.
Day 8: I was kept up all night by my intestines, now a diet of bland food -- quinoa, salad, fruit -- is kind of soothing.
Day 9: Wow, everyone at the office has said I look skinnier..I feel pretty good too!
Day 10: I did it! Save for one evening of decadence, I was able to remain true to the cleanse.
To be honest, I felt much better, and after the initial coffee withdrawal wore off, had more energy. The alcohol abstinence gave me more clarity and ability to live in the present. My anxiety was significantly diminished, in the absence of the caffeine highs and crashes, and I felt more even-keeled in general. My grocery bills were next to nil and I saved money on random snacks and the coffee cart by planning meals in advance. More important, I appreciated the power of team work and having a partner during these efforts. And I'm still following some of the practices such as avoiding red meat and dairy. And yes, I really, really appreciate my morning coffee now, but I only need 1 cup versus the 3-4 I was drinking daily.