Girl Scouts vs. the World: Who Knew They Were Such a Radical Force to Reckon With?

Little did I know, as a buck-toothed 9-year-old singing “Make new friends but keep the old…” in my knee socks and polyester green Girl Scout uniform in a stuffy New Jersey classroom, that I was part of an organization on its way to radical-political greatness. I admit I didn’t really get it back then, even though the Girl Scouts' roots — the organization was first launched in 1912 as a way to get urban girls into the great outdoors — are cool enough. But fast forward to 2014, and the Girl Scouts have become a lightning rod for feminist-hating conservatives. And whipping that crowd into a frenzy (without even trying!) is something I can totally get with. And so, for those who haven’t been following along, here are the subjects of five recent controversies surrounding the Girl Scouts, many of which, naturally, involve Thin Mints.

1. Marijuana. In San Francisco this week, the Green Cross medical marijuana dispensary posted some welcome news on its Facebook page: A savvy Girl Scout had set up shop right on the sidewalk outside of its entrance, killing two birds (raising money, conquering munchies) with more than one stoner. “Now that’s some business savvy. Well played!” wrote one of hundreds of impressed Facebook users. Danielle Lei, 13, was the smart entrepreneur behind the idea (along with her supportive mom), selling 117 boxes in just two hours with plans to return this weekend. Even the Girl Scouts of Northern California gave Lei the thumbs up on Twitter. Disapproving critics, meanwhile, are taking to Facebook with comments like, “Pathetic,” and “What is this world coming to?????”

2. Abortion. Earlier this month, Texas abortion foes kicked off CookieCott 2014, a call for a national boycott of the long-beloved Girl Scout cookies in response to some social media posts from the organization that named pro-choice supporters — including Texas state senator Wendy Davis and Kathleen Sebelius — as role models. It was just the latest in a long line of calls for boycotts, others stemming from 2012 and 2004 “discoveries” about the Girl Scouts supporting choice for women. The organization has noted, through its spokesperson, that the conservative groups are just “using our brand to push a political agenda on the backs of our girls.”

3. Gay people. Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly gets full credit for this one: implying that the Girl Scouts are just a big bunch of lesbians because the organization used to employ as its spokesperson Josh Ackley, who moonlighted as a singer for homocore band The Dead Betties. “When I saw that you guys hired, paid a guy in a punk band with homosexual overtones, I'm going ‘is that a good choice for the Girl Scouts?’” O'Reilly said to current spokesperson Kelly Parisi on his show on Wednesday, during an interrogation about why the Girl Scouts have begun “leaning left.” He added, “You then have to understand the flak when conservative Americans see a spokesperson for the Girl Scouts who is a member or was a member of a punk rock band with homosexual overtones. They're going 'what the deuce is going on?' Surely you understand that.” 

4. Transgender Rights. Haters called for a cookie boycott (surely they don’t know what they’re missing) back in 2012, too, after a Colorado troop accepted a 7-year-old transgender child into its ranks. "If a child identifies as a girl and the child's family presents her as a girl, Girl Scouts of Colorado welcomes her as a Girl Scout," said the Colorado Girl Scouts, in a statement to CNN.

5. Radical Feminism. Even a Girl Scout event as innocent and empowering as a New York screening of the documentary “MAKERS”— about incredible women including Gloria Steinem, Oprah Winfrey and Girl Scouts USA CEO Anna Maria Chávez — had Catholic organizations up in arms. “While it profiles the occasional businesswoman, politician, or athlete, the documentary shown at the screening is chock-full of interviews promoting abortion, lesbian rights, and sexual freedom. Not exactly wholesome content for Girl Scouts,” read a Catholic Stand essay of warning in June of 2013. “(The "MAKERS" trailer shown on PBS even includes a woman laughing about faking orgasms.) The documentary ends by proclaiming the women’s movement an ‘unfinished’ revolution which must be spread worldwide.” Yes! Go get ’em, girls.