Happiness is a serious problem

What does it mean to be happy?

It seems that at least once a year "I reflect on this topic": "I reflect on this topic" Meanwhile, the rest of the world is obsessing about it.

There are countless books, movies, podcasts, talk shows and seminars all centered around the pursuit of happiness. Some of them promise to make us feel happy, at least temporarily. But the truth is that happiness is an inside job. A book or a seminar may shed some new light on the subject and put things into perspective, but it cannot make us happy in the long run.

Happiness is a choice. Every morning upon rising we chose to be happy, sad or indifferent. It's up to us to wave away the worries from a previous day or the challenges of the day ahead. "It's up to us to keep things in perspective".

So why are so many people not choosing to be happy at all times? Maybe it's because they're not sure what it means.

So I ask again, what does it mean to be happy?

It's not fame. After the recent fiascos of Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan, the thought of celebrity status holds very little appeal.

It's not fortune. Eliot Spitzer had enough money and power for a hundred men, yet still managed to ruin his career and his marriage.

If fame or fortune can't make us happy, what does? Is it good health? A successful career? The love of our families?

What's on Your Happiness List?

To me, "happy" stands for:

Harmony. Listening and paying attention to everything that strikes a chord.

Appreciation. Appreciating and celebrating all that we have.

Politeness. Treating others how we would like to be treated.

Positivity. Always looking for the good and the beautiful.

Ying/Yang. Having balance in life.

The problem with being happy is that things like harmony, appreciation and balance don't necessarily come easy. In fact, sometimes we have to work for them.

One of the best tools I have found to instill a sense of happiness is simply to make a list of the things I feel happy about. It only takes a few minutes each day, but the psychic rewards are well worth the time and effort.

Here's part of my "happiness" list:

•Happiness is my 88-year old grandma who always makes me laugh. Recently she told me (and meant it from the heart), "You look great, you got fat, I'm so proud of you."

•Happiness is my grandpa, who got married last month - at age 94! When I asked how his sex life is, he replied, "I can't and she won't."

•Happiness is my niece & nephew, who come over to visit so they can be with their cousins.

•Happiness is my parents, who, after so many years of marriage are still holding hands like two teenagers in love.

•Happiness is my wonderful children, who express their love and show their appreciation when they hug and kiss me.

•Happiness is my darling husband, who worries about our family and often surprises me with unexpected getaways.

•Happiness is being active, feeling great and staying fit.

Each day, my list continues to grow. And as I write this, so does the happy feeling inside me.

The pursuit of happiness is a life-long quest, so never give up on it. And when you achieve happiness, never take it for granted.

Learn to live in harmony, be polite, and appreciate what you have. Look for the good in life, even when it can be hard to find. And most of all, never under estimate the power of Yin/Yang.

All the best,

Yana Berlin is the Founder of Fabulously40.com a website for women forty and beyond. Join The Movement, Membership Is Free