Here's How to Talk About Facebook's New Gender Terms

Beth Greenfield, Shine Staff

Transgender awareness is having a moment — a sustained one. Just take the rising visibility of movers and shakers like Janet Mock, Laverne Cox, Carmen Carrera, and Jenny Boylan, not to mention new laws on both local and national levels. Then there are the headlines across the country, almost daily, about schools grappling with equality for their transgender students on issues from prom queens to bathroom privileges. And now, of course, comes the major announcement from Facebook that its users will be able to choose from more than 50 new gender options for their profiles — transgender, genderqueer, cisgender, trans male, trans person, and intersex among them.

"This new feature is a step forward in recognizing transgender people and allows them to tell their authentic story in their own words," GLAAD president Sarah Kate Ellis notes in a statement about the change.

Still, treatment of the news by many media outlets, including by endless Twitter jokesters, has been a bit lacking in the empathy department and even constitutes straight-up mockery in some places. So, for anyone who’s curious, here are five important points to keep in mind regarding the Facebook development:

1. You really don’t need to get it.
OH MY GOD! More than fifty? Are you kidding? But what do some of those crazy words even mean? Well, simply put, “You don't need to understand what all of these terms mean to understand what it means to be accepting of transgender people and LGBTQ youth,” Allison Palmer, who consulted on the project with Facebook and GLAAD, tells Yahoo Shine. (And if you do feel you need to understand it all? Try doing something called a Web search. It’s easy.)

2. It’s actually not all that complicated, and has nothing to do with you (unless it does).
“All Facebook has done is open up their gender options to allow some users to feel more comfortable and included while representing themselves in the community, which is their right as individuals, so I don't understand why folks' panties (and boxers) are in such wad over it,” T Cooper, author of “Real Man Adventures” and co-founder of teen empathy project WeAreChangers.org, tells Yahoo Shine. “That's why it's called self-identifying; it doesn't have to do with anybody else but the person doing it. Beyond that,” he adds, “it's simply common decency to refer to people the way they want to be referred to. It takes nothing away from you, but showing that modicum of respect can mean the world to another person.”

3. Sorry, jerks. Identifying as a “toaster” is not the same thing identifying as a man.
Here’s an old favorite — responding to news about someone transitioning gender by countering with “My gender is Pizza Pocket,” or “I identify as a toaster,” or “I guess that means I can finally say I’m a robot" (all things that were, sadly, actually said this week on Twitter). Ha ha, you are so very clever and funny! Really, though, you’re not. So please stop.

4. What Focus on the Family thinks about Facebook's decision is beyond inconsequential.
While many news outlets (looking at you, AP and the Guardian) have found it necessary to get and publish the stance of this conservative organization — that there are only two genders, period — it’s really not the appropriate time to get an anti-transgender opinion on the matter. Being balanced doesn’t always mean trotting out the haters; sometimes, it really is just about reporting the news.

5. Facebook didn't just make this decision out of the blue.
“Facebook responded to requests, letters, petitions from transgender and gender nonconforming people who wanted to be able to accurately describe who they are on their Facebook profiles,” Palmer tells Yahoo Shine. Plus, it’s not really such a wacky move: Various states allow individuals to change their gender on birth certificates and driver's licenses, and, as of 2013, the federal government has eased requirements for changing one’s gender on social security records. So try and keep up, OK?