How to handle 3 sticky situations (including the fat behind question)

Tactical tips and talking points that can help you survive awkward elevator rides, unwelcome romantic advances, and other uncomfortable social scenarios

Situation: A stranger walks by with his zipper down or arugula in his teeth.

Solution: In many cases, it's not your place to step in. "If you're in a large group or the person is the CEO of the company, you don't have to say anything," says Jodi R. Smith, president of Mannersmith, an etiquette consulting firm based in Boston. However, if the faux pas is truly mortifying and no one is acting to correct it, look for a moment when the person is alone and quietly mention the problem. But always take care to distinguish between those times when a "flaw" can be fixed (such as toilet paper stuck to a shoe) and when it can't or might be intentional (a blouse that's too sheer).

Read about Embarassing Fashion Moments.

Situation: You run into someone whose last few phone calls you never returned.
Solution: Accentuate the positive. Saying, "Oh, I know you've been calling, and now you've tracked me down," will only remind the person of the slight. Instead, flash a big smile and say, "How lucky to run into you! It saves me the phone call I've been meaning to make," suggests Shannon Donnelly, the society columnist for the Palm Beach Daily News. If you have been meaning to schedule a lunch or a coffee date with the person but haven't had the time to do so, ask if she has 10 minutes to stop for coffee right then, or pull out your calendar on the spot and make a plan to get together soon, says Jodi R. Smith, president of Mannersmith, an etiquette consulting firm based in Boston. However, if you feel that you owe the person a conversation and nothing more, Smith adds, simply "take three minutes to give her your full attention." Ask about her new job, her family, or anything of a personal nature that shows you are interested. "Then close the interaction," says Smith. "Say, 'It was great to bump into you. Have a good day,' and move on with your life."

Learn How to Escape a Run-in with a Long-Lost "Pal"

Situation: A friend asks if she looks good in an outfit, and the answer is something other than yes.
Solution: Blame the clothes, not the person. "Never say, 'You look terrible in that.' Instead say, 'Those pants are wrinkly in the back and don't show off your cute tush,'" says Clinton Kelly, cohost of the Learning Channel's What Not to Wear and a coauthor of Dress Your Best (Three Rivers Press, $19, www.amazon.com). "If everything in the dressing room is too tight, remember: Misery loves company. Say, 'That brand always runs small. I tried on four pairs of pants last week before I found the right ones.'" Then find a better alternative. If one outfit looked great, have your friend try it on again, and compliment an aspect of it that other choices lacked. Finally, timing is everything. "If you're in a dressing room, you can make a difference, so be honest," says Kelly. "But if your friend is running out the door or already in public, why burst her bubble?"

Learn What Not To Say About Someone's Appearance.

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