Kids Asking Celebrities to the Prom Needs to Stop
An 18-year-old in Pennsylvania has just been given a three-day suspension for asking Miss America Nina Davuluri to his prom, during her scheduled appearance at his high school last week. Although the punishment may seem a little harsh – Davuluri herself has spoken out, asking the school not to punish him – it could be a necessary sign that the whole kids-asking-celebs-to-the-prom trend might finally end.
The student, Patrick Farves, is just the latest in a long line of teens who have asked celebrities to go to the prom with them. Last year, a Los Angeles high school senior named Jake Davidson asked swimsuit model Kate Upton to be his prom date. The model ultimately cited scheduling conflicts as a reason she couldn't make it, but Davidson scored a backup date with Victoria's Secret model Nina Agdal. Other celebrity prom date requests include Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, Tim Tebow, and Olympic gymnast Gabby Douglas.
If going to the prom with a star is a fantasy-come-true for a teen, it's free publicity for the celebrity invitee. Davidson's YouTube plea to Upton got nearly 3 million views and was covered on major TV networks. Later, a segment of Agdal and Davidson shopping for the dress she would wear to the prom appeared on the show Inside Edition.
New York Magazine's Kat Stoeffel weighed in on why these celeb prom date requests are often more icky than cute. "These social media campaigns turn what should be a sincere question into an exercise in emotional extortion," she wrote. "Once someone has choreographed a marching band or hired a skywriter, the question is no longer “Do you want go to prom with me?” It’s “Will you choose not to publicly humiliate me?” And once it’s a trending topic, the question cannot be ignored. At least not while maintaining your reputation as a nice — albeit famous — person."
And that's just what makes requests like Davidson's and Farves' so uncomfortable. Putting anyone, famous or not, on the spot in such a public way puts a lot of pressure on someone to say yes, even if they don't want to. It's sort of like a public marriage proposal – nobody wants to be the woman who rejected a guy on live TV or a sports stadium Jumbotron. Nina Davuluri and Kate Upton may be beautiful celebrities, but they're also real people who have busy schedules. They may have to turn down a request because of scheduling, but being forced to say no in public, no matter what the reason, automatically makes them look bad despite doing nothing wrong. It may not warrant a three-day suspension, but it also doesn't deserve public praise.
Stoeffel also warns that encouraging behavior like this, while it seems harmless and fun now, could lead to more extreme behavior down the road. The attitude that a celebrity should request a public promposal just because someone asked nicely could turn into the attitude that a woman should have sex with a man just because he bought her dinner or took her somewhere fancy, she argues. That argument may be a leap, but there's no question the phenomenon is sending the wrong message to kids. Just because you want something doesn't mean you should get it.
