One mom's confession: "How I Can Hate Abortion but Not Want it Illegal"

I'm sure many people are going to disagree with my stance here. Some will say I go too far, some not far enough. That's okay. Give it a chance.

Yes, it's true. I really, really hate abortion…but I don't want it to be illegal. That seems like kind of a strange thing for someone to say, especially a Christian. Which I am. But I've thought about it quite a lot, and I think it truly makes sense. So let me explain.

How can I hate abortion, but not want it illegal?

I do hate abortion. That's important to understand. I'd never choose it. I think it's wrong. I don't think anyone should ever choose it. And in a perfect world, maybe no one ever would choose it. We don't live in a perfect world, unfortunately.

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The thing is, making abortion illegal isn't going to stop it. In most cases, making anything illegal doesn't actually stop it. Does no one use drugs? Please. Everyone who wants them, gets them. Are there no prostitutes? I believe the trade is alive and well. (Not that I support or agree with these practices in any way.) I'm just saying, making something against the law does absolutely nothing to stop it.

It does, however, make it more dangerous. In countries where drugs are legal, there's no crime surrounding them. Why would there be? They're legal to buy.

If abortions were illegal, women would still get them. But they'd buy abortion pills over the internet and take them without any medical supervision, possibly severely harming themselves (yes - this is already happening). They'd seek back-alley abortions, which could possibly kill them due to unsterilized equipment. That's what used to happen.

And while I don't condone killing babies, I don't condone hurting or killing women, either. Since simply saying "no abortions" does nothing to stop the practice, why do we need to say it?

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If we want to stop abortions, there are much better ways. Instead of just saying "no abortions," why don't we reach out to at-risk women? Why don't we mentor them and support them? We can talk them through all of their options and help them to understand the ramifications of each choice. We can be there for them. In this case, we're not saying "no abortions," we're saying, "Abortion is not your only option. Let me help you. Let me talk to you and be at your side as you go through this."

We can also donate to different organizations that help women. In my area, there's a Christian-based health center called Pregnancy Decision Centers. We can bring in maternity clothes and baby items for moms who choose to keep their babies (either to give up for adoption or to raise). Every year they hold a massive "baby shower" for women in need and many baby items are given away.

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We also need to support comprehensive sex education programs. I don't think that either "just say no" or "in case you do, here's a condom" are effective programs. Instead, we need honest, open conversation about the physical and emotional consequences of choosing to have sex at a young age. I've heard too many girls say "But I thought he loved me," after a guy left them right after sleeping with them. Teens need to be prepared for this. Teens need to have access to open, honest information about sexuality and sexual health.

And yes…they need to have access to birth control, too. We cannot make their decisions for them. I choose not to use birth control. But I'm married and prepared to accept any baby I might get. Not everyone is in that position.

Read more about why this mom supports a woman's right to choose on Babble's Being Pregnant.

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