The C word: Is it time to retire "curves"?

Christina Hendricks, with her husband at the Emmys, is the frequent recipient of
Christina Hendricks, with her husband at the Emmys, is the frequent recipient of

The Kardashians are launching a line for QVC next week for shapely women. Jessica Simpson's also debuting a full-figured collection. And Christina Hendricks, the buxom "Mad Men" beauty, was the star of Sunday's Emmy red carpet despite her struggle finding dress to fit her frame. I'll say it, but just once: Curves are in. The word, however, is out.

Like the D word (originally referring to a female odor cleanser), the C word has been misused, over-exposed and abused. It used to be reserved for man-eating bombshells with bursting bust-lines like Brigitte Bardot and Jayne Mansfield. In the early part of this century is was co-opted by female-oriented messages of empowerment. There was the morale boosting indie flick, "Real Women Have Curves" in 2002, and the infinite first-person magazine stories labeled "Why I love my curves." By 2005, straight-shooting Vogue had even jumped on the bandwagon with a description of a Karl Lagerfeld coat designed to "hug those celebrity curves."

It was a pleasant way of comparing a woman's body to a unexpectedly winding road. And we were fine with that. Especially at a time when the big star of the day was I-95-shaped Paris Hilton. But the message became more convoluted as it was used to describe everyone from the zaftig to the obese. And with the nationally franchised gym, Curves, created to help women get rid of them, the concept was even more confusing. Do we want them or not? Are they sexy or self-empowering? Does it mean fat or large-chested?
Who knows anymore. The only clear-cut thing about it is fear. Don't talk about the complicated way we feel about our bodies. Just give it a cartoonish description and stamp the word victory on our heads.

Curves is a kid-gloves term used to avoid offending anyone. Whatever weight you want to be is fine, it implies, and sexy! But obesity isn't fine. It's the fastest growing cause of death in America. Extreme dieting is just as dangerous and a way of life for those unsatisfied with their voluptuous bodies. So how come someone like Kim Kardashian gets the same descriptor as a weight loss center? Who's benefiting from this empowering message? Should we hug our curves or should we find a straighter, narrower path? And who the hell is driving this crazy car?

I'm afraid to say it's us writer-types--in part. Curves is a sensitive word we like to use in an article that's more pictures than text. It's for when we don't want to go too far into the nitty-gritty body issues. It's also shorter than "full-figured" if you're trying to write a catchy headline.
While I've used the word "curves" in countless articles, I've never actually spoken it in casual conversation. If I told a friend, "You've got great curves!" or "You have more curves than me" she would probably think I was abducted by a cult.

The term hasn't been absorbed by out main mode expression, because it's too cheerful. It doesn't reflect the way we really feel about our bodies. It's a branding tool, a cover line. A positive reinforcement message delivered to boost self-esteem in exchange for a profit. It's sycophantic.

So maybe we need to get off our curves and think up some new language that specifies body types, isn't derogatory and doesn't mask the nature of the description.
I'm stumped. Any suggestions?