True Tale of when Sports Bras Attack (and They Do!)
By Jill Sandberg, a guest post for DietsInReview.com
Let's face it, unless you're a lesbian couple from the '97 Lilithfaire, you're probably not wearing a sports bra as your go-to fashion statement. They are the chastity belt for the chesticles. An ugly necessity.
A few have hooks and closures, but if you're wearing them correctly, none of that will matter after a hearty sweat from a good old workout (or a 90's female empowerment concert).
The scene for me usually goes as follows: I come home from my run, take a few minutes to cool down, then head upstairs to shower. I peel off the drenched shirt and shorts. Since I have bought the proper size sports bra for running, it's taken my 36Ds to Hillary's Boys Don't Cry. Putting on a nice cool dry bra was one thing, getting off a wet, tight, hot my-body-is-starting-to-swell-from-the-pressure rubberband is another.
I start with the cross and pull, taking each hand under a pit and pulling up. That doesn't work and I hit my funny bone. Not funny.
I try the straps. Maybe I can go waist down. That would work if it wasn't a T-back that is APPARENTLY MOLDED TO MY BODY.
Everything's starting to itch. Why is it so hot in here? I can't breathe. I know I have scissors in one of these drawers. Is this rubber around the bottom? Has it melted to my skin? Get it off. Get it off. OH DEAR GOD SOMEBODY HELP ME GET THIS OFF!
I think at some point a divine intervention comes into play and/or I dislocated a shoulder in order to finally free the girls. Not being a very religious person, I'm guessing the second. At least I saved $40 by not finding the scissors and can do this all over again tomorrow.
Read More:
The Worst Thing My Sports Bra Ever Did to Me
Lift Weights or Die (Sooner and Weaker)
The Benefits of Breastfeeding and the Attachment Parenting Conflict
