Jealous of the cool mom? Tips for the rest of us

There is a cool mom in every crowd. You know the one; she speaks the kid's language, dresses like them, and jokes as if she is still in school herself. It is tempting to be jealous, but you can drop that misguided emotion.

When my oldest daughter turned 14, we entered a difficult phase in our relationship. Suddenly the bond we had was gone. There is no denying how much that hurt. Even though the way she saw me changed, I could not.

A so-called cool mom in the neighborhood went the other direction and did everything in her power to ensure her daughter liked her. Watching this transformation was nearly as difficult. Not only did I lose my daughter's affection at this time, I was compared to her lenient, and overly indulgent friend's mom.

Just be the mom

As much as you might want to be liked when your daughter hits a rough patch, your daughter does not need another peer to dress like her, talk like her, and agree with all her thoughts and ideas. She needs a mom who is steady and has her best interest at heart.

Popularity is fleeting. Moms of teen girls should already know that first-hand. The cool mom can do all she can to fit in to the crowd, but in the end, she will miss the mark.

Confront when necessary

If a cool mom is luring your daughter further away from you, be aware and don't be afraid to take a stand. Talk to the mom in person and make it clear that your rules stand regardless of her opinion.

Take care of yourself

The cool mom in your sphere may not be the one who tries to look, talk, and act like a teenager. She may be the one who has given up her life to cater to the whims of her daughter and her daughter's friends. Driving to all the events, hosting parties, taking shopping trips, this mom will do whatever the daughter wants in order to feel loved.

Remember that it is not selfish to take care of yourself. Set a better example and set some boundaries.

Happily ever after

After this rough patch, my daughter thankfully came back to her senses. Not only are we close again, she's asked on more than one occasion why I let her out of the house wearing such bizarre outfits! I reply, "Choose your battles wisely."

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