Chances are you spend more time doing something work-related than you do with your guy. Your job has a huge impact on your life and if you're not careful, your job can be the reason your fantastic relationship implodes right before your eyes. There are certain aspects you can't control, but there's a surprising amount you actually can. While support from a partner is obviously a huge help, you're the one in charge of making sure you don't let your job have a negative effect on the two of you as a couple. So what can you do to help keep your job from ruining your relationship?
Work at a job you actually like
When you work at a job you don't mind going to every day, it's more likely that you're not going to come home in a bad mood or be in one throughout the day. It's no surprise that when you're happier, that's when there's less of a chance you're going to take your stress out on your guy. It may take awhile to find a job you love, but it can be worth it in the long run for yourself and your relationship.
Talk to your guy before making certain work decisions
It's one thing if you've been dating for only a couple of months, but if you're in a long-term relationship, you should talk to your guy first before making certain work decisions. This is especially true if the two of you live together or are talking about having a future together. Some of these decisions include a change in job, relocating or a drastic change in pay or work hours. Don't ask him for permission, but let him know you value his input and that you have no problem communicating with him about major changes.
Make the most of your time off
I've heard many complain how their partner works so much, they only see them when they're going to bed or getting up in the morning. Even if you have a crazy work schedule, it's so important to make sure you spend time with your guy and actually do something other than curl up next to each other and sleep. Schedule things in advance if you have to just so you know you can have that time together without it being interrupted.
Do random surprises
You'd be surprised how much random surprises can mean, especially if you do them when you're away from home. Leave notes for him before you leave for work, put his favorite beer in the fridge or have a pizza delivered for him when you're away on business. It's a great way to let him know you're thinking of him even if you can't be around because of work.
Have stress outlets
Having a stress outlet that doesn't involve complaining to your guy is one of the best ways to keep your job from ruining your relationship. Take kickboxing, go running, practice meditation and do whatever it takes so you can let go of that work stress before you spend time with your guy.
Keep a journal
I've heard quite a few guys tell me their girlfriend constantly complains about her job. There's no problem telling him a few tidbits here and there and letting him know how your day was, but he's your boyfriend, not your therapist. Keep a journal so you can put all your thoughts to paper and get out everything you have to say without driving your guy nuts.
Ask for days off in advance
If you don't have a standard 9-5, off weekends kind of job, then ask for a couple of days off in advance so you and your guy can spend that time together. Take a few days away from the area if possible. It'll give both of you something to look forward to, especially when you're dealing with a super-crazy work schedule.
Be honest about what your job entails
There are some who don't let their guy know right from the beginning what the negative aspects of their job are for fear of scaring him off. For example, an acquaintance of mine was dating a woman who told him she was a bartender at a club a few towns over, but neglected to tell him she was actually a bartender at an all-male strip club. Another told her guy she worked in corporate and occasionally worked long hours, and by long hours she meant six days a week for almost 12 hours a day. The guy you're dating is going to find out eventually, so you may as well be up front before too many feelings get involved.
As important as your job is, your guy should still be a priority, which means making adjustments where necessary to ensure you continue to build your relationship. If he treats you well, supports you and you know he's an incredible person, don't take that for granted and assume he's always going to be there. Make the effort to not let your job ruin your relationship and he'll certainly appreciate your efforts.
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