Bi-Racial Dating in the Latino World

La Vida as we know it

You can't imagine how elated Mami was when she heard I was dating again, an event as rare as the pass of Haley's comet! "So tell me all about him," she said. "Well, he's from San Diego, from a very entrepreneurial family, he has a graduate degree in political science and works for a major international company here in town." "I can't wait to meet him!",she exclaimed eagerly. "Now, Mami. I gotta tell you, he's black."

All of a sudden, silence.

Pero, nena, wasn't there anyone else??

What?!! This coming from a woman, herself from casta Spanish blood, who when she started dating that really cute, dark guy from a San Juan barrio (who is now my father) was threatened to be sent to Spain for the rest of her senior year? I couldn't believe her lack of understanding given her own experience, but there it was. My mom was prejudiced!

"No!" she said, "Is that I'm concerned how people will look at you when you walk down the street; plus no one in our family has ever dated a black person, and, what about los nenes…and their hair?"

Dating in the New World

In the end, my parents met him, loved him and were actually very sad when we broke off our engagement.

Still, I'm finding out that this conversation happens more often than naught among Latino families, which begs a couple of questions: How could there be any rejection to Black/Hispanic dating when most of us come from mixed racial backgrounds, and especially when most Latin Caribbeans have black blood in their veins, no matter what their skin color? (Ever heard of the poem, ¿Y tu abuela, donde está?) Are we really still having issues with multiracial dating in this country, when a large section of the population considers itself of mixed race?

Meet the women of "The Latin Wives Club"

I'm encouraged to see that, when it comes to dating and marriage, the next generation seems to place more value on what their potential mate is like as an individual. And to paraphrase an American great, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., my hopes are that some time in the near future the color of the person will matter less than the "true colors" of their character.

And like my abuela used to say, ¡Eso es así!

Have you ever dated someone of another race? Are you a Latina married to a non-Latino? Share your experiences here.

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