10 Anti-Valentine’s Day Gifts

By Alexandra Gekas


Valentine's Day is just around the corner, but not everyone is looking forward to its arrival. In fact, there are plenty of people who wish the Grinch would come and steal all of this holiday's spirit. Whether you want to send a spiteful message to an ex or simply indulge your bitter heart, here are 10 gifts for anyone who's felt the sting of Cupid's arrow.

Stick a Knife in It

Did your ex stab you in the back? Return the favor and buy this less-than-subtle knife holder that promises to be just as cathartic as it is stylish. Plus, it offers endless venting opportunities…that won't land you in jail.


Baby Did a Bad, Bad Thing

Sure, your boyfriend spends hours playing video games, leaves the seat up and hasn't brought you flowers since your second date. But whatever his crimes, you'll feel a lot better after reading the horror stories in Justin Racz's 50 Boyfriends Worse Than Yours. Stalker? Check. Worst kisser ever? Check. Guy who wears his pet Python like a scarf? Of course.


Craft Your Feelings

Crafty ladies will have an endless creative outlet with these, shall we say, descriptive cross-stitch kits by Subversive Cross Stitch. From "Don't Make Me Cut You" to…well, a whole lot more sarcastic sayings we can't repeat here, she'll be able to vent her frustrations one rebellious stitch at a time.


Poetic Justice

Poetry isn't just for the lovesick and smitten. Need proof? Pick up a copy of The Hell with Love: Poems to Mend a Broken Heart. This tome is filled with verses that fuel the fire of hatred as well as those that let you wallow in sadness. Including an array of authors, from Pablo Neruda to Yehuda Amichai to Emily Dickinson, this book is just what the doctor ordered.


Delegate Your Dirty Work

Whether he was cheating, completely selfish or just unbearable, if you've had enough and don't feel an ounce of pity for your partner, hire iBreakUp.net to do your dirty work and dump him on your behalf. Just select a reason you're breaking up or write your own letter, input your information and submit it. Now that's a clean break!

Gather up all your single girlfriends and throw a ladies-only Valentine's Day party.


Sleeping with the Fishes

When Sonny gets a package with a dead fish in the classic mafia movie The Godfather, it means his henchman Luca Brasi is "sleeping with the fishes" (i.e., dead). Now you can express a similarly extreme level of distaste (but without the killing) by sending your own dead fish to whoever has wronged you. It doesn't have to be an ex. It could be the boss who fired you, the barista who keeps giving you cold coffee or even your loud neighbor. But whoever gets the dead fish will certainly get the point, too.


Voodoo Daddy

In this age of technology, anyone can send a customized curse! At PinStruck.com, you can build a virtual voodoo doll and send it to the object of your disdain. Recipients will receive an email directing them to the site, where they'll find an effigy of themselves impaled with pins. Warning: Reversal of curse not guaranteed!


Dirty Rotten Flowers

If nothing says "I love you" on Valentine's Day like a dozen roses, then by that logic nothing must say "I hate you" like a dozen dead flowers. Perhaps you've had your heart broken, you've had a big fight or he just forgot Valentine's Day altogether. However you've been wronged, your message won't be missed with the arrival of these limp and lowly blooms.


Bittersweet Hearts

Heart-shaped candies are a seasonal treat that Valentine's Day revelers enjoy every year. From "I Love You" to "Be Mine," they capture the very essence of the holiday. But for those who want to crush all the love in the air come February 14, stock up on some BitterSweets. They look like your typical heart-shaped candies, except they're emblazoned with less-than-romantic messages like, "You Turn Me Off" and "Aging Poorly."


Just Say No…to Love

Valentine's Day is definitely not everyone's favorite holiday. In fact, there are folks out there who downright loathe it. Whether you're one of the haters or you know someone who is, there's no better way to express yourself then with an anti-Valentine's Day cookie. With messages like "Just Say No" or crossed-out hearts, the treats are described as "great texture, buttery and not too sweet." Sounds like the perfect way to celebrate the hate.



Original article appeared on WomansDay.com

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