10 Ways to Tell If He's Using You
by Dating Coach Laurel House
How do you know if he's into you or into something else that you offer (ie: your body, money, dinner, connections, or even your laundry machine)? Here are 10 signs to look out for. Of course, just because your guy exhibits one of these signs doesn't mean he's using you. But sometimes we have our blinders on when it comes to love and we refuse to see the red flags no matter how obvious or numerous they are...
1. Listen To Your Gut
Yes that little voice in your head that is giving you warnings, that's your natural instincts. Your subconscious might be picking up subtle signs that your mind and heart are too excited to notice.
2. He Doesn't Make Much Of An Effort
He sees you when it's convenient for him (like when you go over to his house or meet him out with his friends). But he doesn't put much effort into making the connection.
3. He Doesn't Pay
If you seem to always be shelling out the cash for the dinner, movie tickets, cabs, entrance fees… everything, you might start to wonder if he's using you for money.
4. He Doesn't Make You Feel Special
Does he allow you to make him feel special, but you can't remember the last time he did something to make you feel special? You feel like you're constantly doing cute little things for him, complimenting him, going out of your way to make him feel special, but he never reciprocates?
5. He Acts Differently Around His Friends
The way a guy acts with you when his friends are around can be an important indicator of how he truly feels about you. He might be sweet and lovey dovey when you're alone, but as soon as the guys come by if he's distant, demeaning, rude, dismissive… you should start to question how to talks about you to his buddies and what he really thinks about you. Are you just a booty call? Does he play down your relationship because he's embarrassed of you?
6. Friends And Acquaintances Warn That He's A DIfferent Guy When You're Not There
If there are inconsistencies with the stories you hear from others about his personality, which are different from how he acts when he is with you… which one is the real him? Is he just putting on a show or a facade for you?
7. He Has Ulterior Motivations
He talks about other ulterior motives with you- like that your dad might be able to get him a job, that he would love to use your beach house, that he would love for you to bring him to more parties where he can meet the important people.
8. You Feel Like You Work For Him
He is constantly asking you to run errands and make pit stops on your way to see him. It makes you feel like you're his assistant, not his girlfriend.
9. He Only Comes Over When He's Hungry Or Needs to Do Laundry
He always brings his laundry and eats all your food. Once those needs are met, he's out of there.
10. You Are Always and Only His Go-TO During Moments of Weakness
He only contacts you when he's drunk, broke, or is having a bad day.
If too many (or even just a few) of the above ring true, you might want to start re-thinking if he's really into you, or if what he's into is something you offer.
Want personalized advice? Contact Dating Coach Laurel House and learn more about private coaching...
Laurel House is a Healthy Living and Dating Expert, 4x published Lifestyle Author, NASM Weight Loss Specialist, and nationally recognized Print and Online Magazine Writer covering travel, relationships, healthy food and fitness (New You, Women's Health, First for Women, Men's Journal, Yahoo! Shine, Elegant Bride, Fit, Spa, Fit Yoga, Playboy, etc). Beyond writing, she has appeared as an expert on television morning shows including E! News, Weekend TODAY, The Daily Buzz, Better.TV, Good DayLA, CBS, Fox, NBC, and ABC Morning News shows both locally and nationally, and her YouTube videos have received over 12 million views. Her 4th book "QuickieChick's Cheat Sheet to Life, Love, Food, Fitness, Fashion and Finance on a Less than Fabulous Budget" was published by St. Martin's in May 2012. She is currently writing her next book- "Screwing The (dating) Rules"
