11 Flirting Fails Made by All Twentysomethings
Somewhere in between pushing each other on the schoolyard and starting a joint bank account, there's us, mostly drunk-texting with no idea what we are doing. We've all been guilty of giving or getting one of these doozies.
By Anna Breslaw
1. Relying on alcohol as a mating/dating technique.
Yes, after that magic first kiss with a crush after a few glasses of champagne, it occurs to us that drinking makes dating more ~*~mAgiCaL.~**~ Cut to three years later, when you are on the worst, most uncomfortable online date of all time, and wind up sleeping with the guy because you're drunk.
2. Negging as a pickup technique.
There is a (hopefully) small window of time in the lives of many twentysomethings during which they're attracted to people who, subtly or less subtly, make them feel worthless. Dude, walking up to a girl you think is pretty and telling her her butt looks big in those pants doesn't make you Don Draper.
Related: 20 Mistakes Everyone Makes in Their Twenties
3. Only communicating via text when not in person.
You know. Text messages. Which seem angry if you do something as insignificant as put a period on the end of them. Using a tonally-ambiguous, hard-to-analyze form of communication from the start of your relationship is a great idea for establishing mutual trust! And it certainly will not make at least one party want to toss their iPhone in an active volcano!
4. Cutting down people of the same sex (i.e. your "competition") in order to win your crush over.
"You know Alison, right? Don't you think she dresses weird? And her teeth are crooked? Haha. Anyway, you're super-attracted to me now that I cut another girl down, right?" Nope, you just look like a dickhead.
5. Incestuous clique dating.
Just because it worked out on Friends doesn't mean it'll work out for you.
You go in expecting the kind of adorbs makeups and breakups that will only keep the group apart temporarily, and next thing you know you're crouching under a table hiding from your ex and his new girlfriend, who happens to be your friend, and by the way, you're dating your ex's brother, and can someone please bring you a stiff drink under this table?
6. Flirting with a friend's current or ex-boyfriend.
Current: Under no circumstances. Past: Only with express permission.
Related: What Guys Think About Women, by Age
7. Getting stuck in a messaging back-and-forth on a dating site.
In the swamp of online dating there lurk certain men, like the most boring alligators of all time, who strike up conversations with you and never ask you out. They are a time-suck. Many people write "three message limit" on their profiles to avoid these people; I suggest you do too.
8. Early terms of endearment or early touching.
Being the giver or the getter of a premature "Baby" or waist-touch mid-conversation is the actual worst.
9. Asking zero questions about the person you're on a date with.
Way to go, Selfish.
10. Talking about your ex.
Especially in that obsessive, negative way that means part of the person still is not over him/her.
11. Drunk texting. Drunk texting. Drunk texting.
Read more at Cosmopolitan.com!
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