11 Things You Should Never Say to a Childless Couple

Back when I was trying to conceive, my husband and I felt a lot of pressure to start a family from some relatives and friends. Often very well meaning family and friends, wondering when we were going to have a baby. Any person who has been trying to get pregnant knows what I'm talking about here -- it can be a difficult time. But it's not just those who want to have a baby who feel this way -- many childless couples get bombarded with the whys, the whens, and the how comes. It can be more annoying than a hemorrhoid. I mean, why can't two people enjoy being married without having kids in the mix?

Here is my list of things no childless couple ever wants to hear -- so try to never say them.

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1. When are you going to have kids?

Expect this question to start the minute you get married and it comes from your parents, your hairdresser, the guy at the deli, and your cousin who has three hundred children. It's really no one's business, right? The question should be answered as if you were asked, "When are you going to have unprotected sex and let him you-know-what inside you?" Maybe that will get people to stop asking.

2. Are you having trouble conceiving?

Is your man shooting blanks? Did your eggs get used up last Easter? Would you EVER say that to someone? If not, then don't ask if someone is having trouble conceiving.

3. You have pets, right? It's kind of the same.

Demeaning.

4. It's easier to be selfish when you don't have kids.

Wow. Pulling the selfish card. Hurts every time.

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5. Oh, you wouldn't understand. It's more of a parent thing.

The parent club. People who say this make it all the more exciting to be a part of their clan someday.

6. If you can't have them naturally, you know you can always adopt.

Stating the obvious = not necessary.

7. Is it that you are just worried about what pregnancy would do to your body?

You know who says this kind of thing? Jealous people. People who are jealous of what you look like. If you hear these words though, it makes you feel like the person saying them to you thinks you are too shallow to have kids.

8. See what you have to look forward to? *When a parent is trying to calm a crying baby.*

This kind of comment makes you want to say, Actually, yes, I am looking forward to that. I want to be a mom.

9. Your life will never be the same. NEVER.

The person who says this to you is clearly miserable and may even long for their own childless days too much.

10. Are you worried you would be a bad parent because of your own childhood/issues?

Low blow! Low blow!

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11. You wouldn't want to bring a child into this world anyway.

Sigh.

Have you ever heard these comments? Which ones annoy/upset you the most?

Image via ell brown/Flickr

Written by Michele Zipp on CafeMom's blog, The Stir.

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